She flipped her lid! (mil)
Last night SO got a phone call from BM (she and skids live with mil). Mil was drunk and scaring the kids. SO left, and I've posted a basic recap below.
>He didn't get home until 2:40am. Yup.
>MIL had been hitting and trying to hurt BM and she scratched SO multiple times when he was there
>Cops were called, they gave her a warning
>She was ranting about how SO "doesn't get it" and how she's sick and tired of doing everything
(Interestingly enough though every time BM has went outside with bf, mil "offers" to watch the kids. But she's full of loathing and resentment over it. So it seems to be about control rather than watching her precious grandkids.)
It seems she's starting to crack from the behavior and lack of parenting.
BM's family can't stand the skids but it never got this bad over there. We barely heard a peep from them because (I suspect) they were doing the parenting for BM.
It seems that the "fantasy" that mil had, of being the spoiling grandma, living with her favorite grandkids ... is in tatters because it's not so easy.
She used to scoff when BM's family used to complain about SS and his disrespectful behavior. Now she lives with it and it's not so fun.
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I'm feeling sorry for Grandma
I know she shouldn't be getting so drunk thst she would attack anyone, especially if the situation was so bad the police had to be called. But as a 74yo, I'm feeling sorry for Grandma. Clearly, BM and the kids need to move. Morningflower, I hope that doesn't mean the kids have to move in with you. But, certainly, it is beyond Grandma now.
I'm a maternal person and the little ones in my family (great-grandsons) are good little kids but after a short time, it's my naptime. There is a reason young people are the ones who have the kids.....
Absolutely!
You're absolutely right. That's what I've been saying since the beginning, when BM's family kicked her out because of SS behavior and the stress of having 2 poorly parented kids at home. I was waiting for something like this to happen and yup I really hope they don't have to move in with us. I say that unabashedly. I have my bs10 (not SO's) who's been
a victim of SS' bullying in the past, SS is also 10. And lately SD4 has been displaying behaviors towards ours that resemble SS' behaviors to my son. So as far as I know it's a no-go from me. If they were to move here, I can't prevent it because they are SO'S kids but I wouldn't be doing any of the work and I would not be glorified childcare. The other thing is that we would have no support and SO works nights and sleeps during the day. So you can see where this would be heading anyways!
I read your former blogs
Your SS has those behavior issues. This is going to be a big problem, where he lives. Im sure I'm not telling you anything new. Not going to be an easy situstion to solve. Good luck to you and all your family
Why can't BM live on her own
Why can't BM live on her own like a big girl?
That's what I want to know
She could eliminate all these issues if she gets a job and lives on her own. She doesn't work.
Is there a reason why your SO
Is there a reason why your SO took the phone call from BM rather than ignoring her and forcing her to deal with her own adult problems? I know it's his mother, but it's also not his job to manage his mother. BM and MIL are both adults and therefore need to solve their problems themselves without another adult intervening. Seems like your SO needs to separate himself from both train wrecks (BM and MIL).
Because they live 3 blocks away (mil's choice)
And BM got him when she said that the kids were getting scared. I warned him when they moved here that there was going to be drama and I was pissed about the living arrangements for a while. I'm rarely ever wrong about things and I'd like to be proved wrong just once.
Mil jumped to take bm in and she's seen that her perfect grandbabies aren't so perfect. After everything I've been through because of mil I have no sympathy for her.
Our BM didn't work, either
I never understood why our BM preferred to live only on CS, even when we had the kids most of the time and she could have worked with little or no childcare expense. The CS wasn't all that much but she preferred to do without rather than work. Oh, I forgot, she did work for a cleaners for a couple months. Whoopee.