I'm back!! :)
Hey ya'll!! LOL after being on here randomly off and on the past year and a half whining and complaining about my situation I have finally fixed it. I clung to the hope that the ostrich would see that being focused a thousand percent on his kids and leaving me standing there wondering what on earth would make him see he was just pushing me further and further away. It is sad to say behind his back so to speak I began looking for someone who would value time with me and not make me feel like such a mom and slave master all of the time. NO before you gals and guys start the mob up, ostrich and I were NOT married. We lived together for 3 years until in 2009 I decided enough was enough and we moved out. As far as i'm concerned HE let our relationship fizzle, not me. I tried to tell him that it takes 2 etc and so on with all of those cliches until I met someone who made me understand that if a person wants my time they will show me--in little ways or even big ways. New SO has 1 son who is 23 and lives in Florida so we may not see him much :(. He has also told me that he is not only with me but also with my kids. He has been spending time trying to see what makes each of them tick and of course teens are WAY harder than the 5yr old 
My favorite things about him are so far that he wants to spend time with me, wants to know about my kids and that we are not spending life sitting around waiting. In just a short time he has reaffirmed what my therapist expressed about me--I AM friendly, outgoing, reliable, accountable and lovable not being the least on the list. I do for my kids first and make sure that things are all right with them before I devote time to my SO. We are taking this slow and hopefully things will go as we hope for them to. I don't think I would need to stay here as far as my step-sitch except from SO's point of view.
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Spunki, my kids are 18, 16
Spunki, my kids are 18, 16 and 5. We have had a rough go of things living with him for 2 1/2 yrs and his kids every other week. My teens have no attachment as his kids were allowed to do anything he saw fit (boy 8, girl 9) He has no expectations of them and did not back anything I tried to do as a "family" to bond and cooperate as a "team". Wemoved way from them over a year and a half ago so the SO switch is not a sudden one. After I moved he had assured me he 4 mile distance would nt be a problem, but he instead "punished" me because I did not mve him and his kids with us. There are no attachment issues just out of sheer disapointment in how he and his ex choose to raise their children. I have spent this time rebuilding the damage wrought when I was the tug of war rope between him and my teens and I let his decision rule instead of standing up for me and them.
Ms Perception - I think I'm
Ms Perception - I think I'm also just about there... thinking about what it would be like to live with someone who respects & cherishes me. Likes to spend time with me. Dotes on me. I'm quite tired of my situation and am realizing it not going to change as DH is comfortable in his Disney Dad role & swins are conditioned to expect more the same from their bio parents.
Step--my only wish is that my
Step--my only wish is that my ex would have paid what he owed in CS and maybe we would not have had to stay in a go nowhere situation for as long as we did. My new SO has his own home and he and I trade spending time together in each space. Teenagers don't much care what momma does as long as I don't rain on their parade lol. I only stay with him one night during the school week and on Friday and some Saturdays w take the littlest one about to do things. He is prgressing much better than ostrich ever did with my teenagers at "relating". Everyone understands there is no "replacement" parent issue just that he says I am in his life and so are my kids <3
But I know wishing that changing my circumstances before now I would not have found this one.
LOL Crayon!!! I wish I could
LOL Crayon!!! I wish I could have but I think karma will take care of that for me >:) Moving away from him was the best thing that could have happened for me and mine. I just wish I'd had the strength to cut the last thread before now. There are only so many ways you can tell someone over and over that they arent treating you right. If it was over his kids he maybe should have just listened to what I'd said, what his family and friends have said. It will all come out in the wash but I'm not staying around for that load. New SO is like a sponge learning and asking and figurin out what works with each of my kids and has even already experienced the 5yr old playing me and him one against the other-lol. I think he could be the one but time will only tell and I know that I am strong especially alone and together can be wonderful