I'm not sure I agree with the game playing tactic, however, this year my husband and I agreed that WE would be more in control of what happens with our schedule and life. Last year all we did was accommadate BM and skids. Not this year! Because of BM and skids manipulations we have not seen them in a month.

BM took me off the pick and drop off list at the school and after care - insisting that my husband should be doing that after a year of me doing the pick up and drop off. So, he simply said, fine then keep the kids because that doesn't work with my work schedule or life.

Now she is saying that nothing has changed and zen can pick up and drop off kids as normal. My husband's reply, you need to bring them to the house if that is the case, otherwise we will not be picking up or dropping off.

See BM has had all the control in terms of who is on or off the list, etc. when we are to pick up and drop off. Each pick up and drop off is usually changed the day of, so we are constantly at her disposal - which is a big pain because we can't do a thing the day of the pick up or drop off until we know what SHE wants.

We changed the manner in which we deal with her, meaning you took ZEN off the list knowning this would case issue with husband schedule and cause chaos - so now you can live with that decision and drop them off or keep them. Doesn't matter to us, but we are controling when and where.

Other decisions we have made this year has also lessened our stress relating to BM and skids.

Hope it helps.

@What worked and works for us is that each and every time that bm wants info about our family she is told it is none for her business as well as my kids. We have pretty much kept to the court order. That is the best thing anyone can do. Keep it to the court order! Not to mention that dh is very good at playing the guilt trip on bm as she is very bad about the guilt trip and he has learned that it works on her. Such as he turns the tables on her if she is crying boo hoo about no money and that we shouldn't have bought something b/c she can't afford it, he bring in the fact that she goes to every Rascal Flats concert out of state and she takes the boys most of the time. And that she should get a job so that she can have some money like purple does. That is just one example. As I said dh is very good about putting the guilt trip on her when she tries to do it to dh.

Things that have worked for me:

1) Like the first post says I have also 'planned' things with my DH on days that I suspect BM will ask us to swap things round and have SD6.
2) BM's tend to be predictable- make sure you and DH are not the same! Recently BM tried to stop DH seeing SD6 just because he refused to keep being mucked around with times and places he picked her up from! I knew if my DH held out long enough BM would realise she's not getting anywhere and then give in. Surprise suprise she did!!! In other words never let BM know she's getting to you
3) The worst thing for most twisted BM's to see is that you and your DH are happy!
4) BM's tend to have a habit of guilt tripping DH into thinking he's a bad dad. Think about what you think BM will say and tell your husband in advance what strings she's likely to pull...that way you and DH are both prepared