Todays Rant! Everyday gets worse
Another crazy night in my household, with my 3 SD's who think they are all Queen Elizabeth, and should be wearing the crown. Not a moment after I return home from work my BF is gone ( off doing what, I have no idea, and I am starting to wonder if he's up to something) My SD's are running up and down the stair case of my house. There is potato chips and juice boxes on every inch of my floor in the kitchen and living room. Not to mention 4 towels on the bathroom floor upstairs, the shower doors of the track in the bathroom, a slew of cups, and candy bar wrapers in their bedroom(how they got candy is beyond me???), and what looks like boogers on the hallway wall. I am just fit to be tied.
When I try discussing this "mess" with the Skid's they close the bedroom door on my face. And I mean slam the door. This is not the first time they have done this. I knock politely( and I should have been a raging lunatic at this point, but I never know what lies they will tell to their dad this time), and the youngest comes to the door and says "what"...??? Ummm, is she kidding me I am thinking. SHe just said "what"????I ask again "politely" for them to clean the mess they have made, and this little SNOT says no!!!!!! Can you believe, she says NO!!, I have had it now at this point....I text their father (my BF/Fiance) and he says to me, and I quote "my kids would never do that to you" you are mis-understanding them, I wish you would be a little more sympathetic to my kids as they have had a rough few years" (end quote).....I don't know how to get it threw this mans head that his children are NOT innocent, or fragile, as he perceives them to be. They are down right rude, and disrespect me, AT ALL TIMES! He uses this Sh*t as an excuse , day in and day out.
So of course , to make me look crazy , and sound like a Wicked step mother, not 15 minutes before my BF/fiance arrives home the 2 Skid's come down and clean up their mess. When BF asks them about it, they said I was lying, and over exaggerating. Can you imagine! Well I have gotten smart to their sh*t (or so I thought), I took pictures of it this time. Because all of a sudden my BF (who once believed in me & us, had no issues what so ever me until his kids were around full time, mind you , I watch then 7 days a week, and his ex still gets the Child support without kids there???) does not believe anything I say about his kids, EVER!!! Everyday he accuses me or telling a lie about his kids. I am just sick and tired of it all. I cant even imagine what I will be walking into today after work. ........or rather what nasty text messages I am going to get about what I DID WRONG to his kids while he was out Gallivanting all Freaking night until midnight...Its almost like all I am is a built in freaking babysitter, and god forbid I go any where with my BS, that is just not acceptable, and wont be had in his eyes. Everything is about his freaking Girls! I am a Ghost in this this house, and this Ghost is about to disappear from his life all together.
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Thank you broken, I love what
Thank you broken,
I love what you said! That was great , yes running in heels might be where its at...LOL
I do believe that is sad to say, but I agree! I am going to start my process of removing myself. This is not going to get better. And my Fiance/BF has no respect for me or my BS.
Get your fucking phone out
Get your fucking phone out next time (covertly of course) and get them on video acting like the snots that they are. Then shove it up your BF's butt.
Oh and stop being a doormat for him and these girls. YOU are watching them 7 days a week, while BM continues to get CS? Oh hell to the no.
Hi Daizy! I think I def need
Hi Daizy!
I think I def need to record this little devils in action. I think that is the only way he will believe me.....Because it seems to me that no matter what o say or do he does not believe anything that I say or show him.......
I am watching them 7 days a week, because BM is useless, and never home, and the kids complain about her being on drugs and drunk all time, yet bad mouths me when they are home. Its a nightmare, and these Skid's are using each parent as a pawn, including me....Its time for all of this to end. Oh and yes, don't you just love it, the BM gets all the CS and I don't even get any help at all from my BF
Hi Just wow, I wish I was
Hi Just wow,
I wish I was stronger, but I am getting there, I will not be taking this crap anymore.....
I have asked him time and time again to take his kids with him when he goes out or make other arrangements to have kids watched while he is not home. He literally is out of the house for hours at a clip, sometimes at the gym (must be nice), other times I have so F'ing idea where in the hell he is(hence why I feel I am being played, but this shit just started, it wasn't always like this with him disappearing)...Ironically, I think he hates his 4 kids, they are just like their BM, but he has so much guilt from divorcing that mad women that these kids have him by the balls, and that's how they win all the time. Unfortunately, no one is going to put up with a quarter of the shit I have endured for the last 3+ years. I swear I must be crazy too....I have completely disengaged from his kids, yet when he arrives home, I get the "how come the kids haven't eaten? How come the kids are upset"????? And this is my fault, father of the year?????...I made them dinner, they don't like it! So now they can starve!
But as always I am wrong! ugghhhhhh :?
How can you say that you've
How can you say that you've completely disengaged when you're still cooking for them and reminding them to pick up their messes?
Just for the record, you need something way beyond just disengaging. I don't understand why you continue to stay in a relationship like this. What if any are the good things about your SO?!?!? Regardless, nothing could ever be enough to put up with that bullsh!t.
Hi Step X2, You are right,
Hi Step X2,
You are right, beyond anything you are right!
I do know this. I do cook, and clan, and pay bills and do laundry and with no appreciation and with nothing but grief. I am considering leaving my relationship at this point. This has become way to much for me, and I feel as if I am going to have a nervous breakdown...
Hi Brokenlost, They are def
Hi Brokenlost,
They are def not disciplined. And my SO makes every excuse in the book of why they are the way they are. Last night was another Sh*t show in my house, but this time I think I have hit my limit! the skids are 9, 12, 14 & 15..Uggghhh
Hi notasm....I agree with
Hi notasm....I agree with your two choices, as this is the only thing that is left to do...I have tried kicking this man out over last few months, to be "won" back with all the empty promises that you can imagine under the sun. SO now its time for me to leave...But its hard , as it is my house....So I am caught between a rock and a hard place. But it is def time to cut this loose.
Is this your house? If so it
Is this your house? If so it is time for a good old come to Jesus meeting. They do not deserve your civility. Slammed doors in the face require said doors to be removed. Maybe even remove bf from domicile.
I think that's a great idea
I think that's a great idea itman! Thank you .....I think after last nights "door slamming episode again" Its time to take door off, then kick all of their asses out! I have had it through and through at this point
I do not normally post like
I do not normally post like this but I am getting amazed at the amount of post like yours here lately!! Post by supposedly grown women that are LETTING these men treat them like disrespected garbage. This is not just a step issue hun. This is a you issue.
Your BF found a gem in you since you are letting him walk all over you.
You are letting this man and his kids treat your house like a giant garbage can.
You are letting his kids disrespect you in your home.
You are letting him basically cheat on you. (If you are worried, you are probably right.)
AND you are letting him let you be responsible for his kids while he gets to go play.
He is just a BF right? My suggestion....tell him that kids are not allowed home unless he is there. Period. Dot. If he gives you crap, then tell him that they are too much for you and he needs to parent HIS kids. Not you.
Try not to interact with the kids at all. Let the BF do it. If they make a mess...tell BF to clean it up.
Next time he is out until 12 kick his ass out on his ear.
Again...DO NOT BABYSIT these kids.
I truly do not mean to be harsh, but you know you should not put up with all of this. Especially from a BF.
Take the rugrats back to BM
Take the rugrats back to BM if he cannot stay around to watch them.
Thank you Willow.... I am
Thank you Willow....
I am being treated like a garbage can for sure....I finally blew my lid last night after more antics....Yes he is just a BF/Fiance, and he empowers these skid's to treat me like sh*t over and over, and he does same. I am finally coming to my senses...I have had enough of this..After my convo, or rather argument with him last night he feels I am heartless to his kids needs, and he has a million and 1 excuses of why they are rancid, and Pigs!!!...
I would not be able to
I would not be able to tolerate this level of disrespect. And IMO, it's not going to get any better with the SD's unless and until your BF is willing to call them out on it and no longer stand idly by while their rude behavior continues. The SD's do this because they are allowed to get away with it. If it were me, I would not be able to stay.
If you really think there is a chance that this relationship can work, I would sit down and have a talk about what you need to happen in order to stay and be happy in the relationship. If there is no agreement between you two that you are able to come up with together, or if he says things will change but does not follow through, then I would seriously reconsider the relationship.
Wow, the slammed door in the
Wow, the slammed door in the face by a skid, I bet A LOT of step parents on here have felt that.
I know I have. Ass1 tried it once with me. Needless to say, I had my hands on the screwdriver and she was about to lose that bedroom door AND ALL HER PRIVACY AND she LURVED her own little private kingdom ....that soon brought her to heel, because unlike DH I NEVER not followed through with a punishment. }:)
It sucks but recording them and the mess and anything else you find on their pcs was ONE of the ways the " penny " finally dropped for DH....
Also, what other posters have suggested no DH or BF actually there, no skids, time to tell that animal keeper he needs to be at home to manage HIS ZOO !!!!
Wow, they need to not be
Wow, they need to not be there if their father isn't there. He's an asshole to leave them with you then believe their lies.
mylife10- When I was a
mylife10-
When I was a hormone filled girl I was a door slammer. My mother warned me I had one more time, of course I thought she was full of shit, I mean what was she going to do? So the next time I slammed the door at her, the next sound I hear is my Dad's drill and they took my door off the hinges. I had to go without a door for 3 MONTHS! You know how important girls like to have their privacy, I was devastated. But when I got my door back guess what? I never slammed that bitch again. Time to get your drill out and show who means business.
Thank you all so very much. I
Thank you all so very much. I am in tears writing and reading this all. I am beyond frustrated! Yes my BF /Fiance leaves kids with me always. And like most of you did say, if I think he's up to no good he probably is.
I feel like I am a mouse in a maze, running in circles and I can’t find the exit. I know in my heart that I am being abused mentally, and being treated like a door mat. I just thought for so long(prior to searching for some info on step parenting, and thank god I found this place, with ALL of you, which is a blessing) I really felt maybe it’s me. Maybe I am going about things all wrong with my SD and my BF/Fiancé.
But it’s finally coming to me like a huge light bulb going off in my head that I am being used. Not to mention abused by him and all 4 of his kids.
His ex wife has the life, she gets all the Child support (which baffles me why he pays her still) and I am watching his heartless, nasty kids. It has been months of this BS.
The best was last week when my BS came to me and said one of the lids ripped up his school project, and when I confronted her she said she did not and my BS was lying, yet my BS was standing in my bedroom doorway crying because this selfish little b*tch (god forgive me) destroyed his project. And this time I heard it with my own ears.
And then when approaching my BF , he says “my Daughter would never ever do that” your BS is lying….Again always taking side of his kids, and putting my BS’s feeling on back burner, and completely disregarding me and my BS.
I swear it’s as If we don’t exist, except to pay bill, go to the food store, pay the cable and cell phones, etc. Other than that I am that “ghost “in my house. Yes it’s my house. I am literally dreading going home from work today, and every day for that matter , not knowing what trauma I am going to have to endure.
Lord Give me the strength!
If he has no money and nobody
If he has no money and nobody who will loan him money, then just take the skids to BM when he is out gallivanting around and then have the locks changed. Throw his shit on the curb.
If he DOES have someone else who may loan him money, you might want to talk to a lawyer (most give a free initial consultation) about how to legally get rid of a hostile tenant. It may suck but it will suck so much worse if you decide to marry this man-child user/abuser.
If nothing else, thing of the crap your BS is going through because of these miscreants.
...when he is out
...when he is out gallivanting around and then have the locks changed...
^^^This!!!^^^
When my ex fiance told me it was over (he was in a bar getting drunk), I called a friend of mine who took me to the store for a new lock (MY house). Ex tried to get in my house after the bar closed and, HELLO!, his key no longer worked.
...threatened to kill me
...threatened to kill me because he was going to have me or no one was.
OMG, I was with someone who said the same thing! I STILL have an active restraining order against him because he refuses to leave me alone. Even found me by watching my parents' home on Father's Day to follow me and see where I lived. Creepy, scary!!
I WAS very careful, but he
I WAS very careful, but he was determined. My mace days are over for at least 30 years. He's in jail for attempted murder, assault, and a variety of other things.
You're lucky. My ex was
You're lucky. My ex was charged with attempted murder at first, and then they dropped it to misdemeanor assault and battery.
Still pretty pissed about that. But it's been 4 years since he showed his face anywhere near me.
Then if it is YOUR house,
Then if it is YOUR house, give him 24 hours to get out of your house. I'm assuming if this is your house that you paid the payment before he came along so you should be able to pay it now. I can think of no other reason why you are putting up with this crap other than you cannot make it financially on your own. Think about how unfair this is to your bio son. If you don't care what it is doing to you, think of him, he should not have to live this way. Please tell us WHY are you putting up with this?
rising, Let me explain, I
rising,
Let me explain, I work full time, its my house, he does not work. He borrows money from me & others to pay his CS. All he does is go out and goes to gym.
Again I work full time! My BS is NOT home with them when I work, My Ex-husband and I are NORMAL and have a grandparent taking care of my BS when I work, because MY BF DOES NOT watch my BS, My BF Sleeps ALL day long, because he is out ALL night long.
When I arrive home is when he EXPECTS me to watch his kids, and mind you its 3 of the 4 because the oldest is at BM house where she can run amuck , because BM is NOT home.
I was trying to state that my BF kids are watched by me AFTER I get home. Without giving too much of my personal info and time frames, just know that when I arrive home from my 8 hour shift , he leaves within 45 mins of me coming home. I then have to pick up my BS and then I have my BS , and 3 skid's in house....My BS has a normal routine, goes to bed, behaves and does what every kid does. However my Skid's run rampid, and they don't go to bed until LONG after I go to bed, because I hear them jump roping at 3 am , and it wakes me. They keep their fathers schedule, who is up all night...Hope that clarifies things...
Rising, she does work. I
Rising, she does work. I think she was saying that she watches them 7 days a week but she still works.
Mylife, i re-read what you wrote and this stood out to me:
"...and god forbid I go any where with my BS, that is just not acceptable, and wont be had in his eyes."
This man who resides in your home with his kids IS just using you. He also is controlling you and you're ALLOWING it!! Why do you let him? Please if not for yourself, get out of this relationship for your son.
Your son will either look back and
a) love that you stood up for him and you by kicking this loser to the curb
or
b) resent you and develop anger because you allowed this life for both of you.
What is more important? Your son or this loser of a so called man?
Aww Sally , you said that
Aww Sally , you said that great, thank you so much! It would be much easier if their father would believe and parent them, but no such luck,. I have tried the silent treatments, and keeping my mouth shut, but that only puts a bigger wedge between us, and he then blames me for segregating the "family"...I think I need to just end this all together, as much as it is truly truly heart breaking to me..But this man and the his kids must go....I am filling my phone with pics and videos too, just in case I do need them in the latter, as well as having all my text convos forwarded to my email to cover my butt!!
I just need the courage to finally leave, or rather tell them where to stick it, and get out! ..which I did last night...I hope you have a very happy & healthy 4th!