Just one thing after another with this man and his child.

Soooo...I know I set Aug as a shit or get off the pot date. Doesn't look like I am going to make it that far. I am so over all the crap, and drama and bs.

If you have read some of my previous posts, you will know the backstory. We are 3 years into this, lived together for one year, and got separate places because our kids were a nightmare. I could barely stand to hear his kid breathe. SO had some growing up to do also, and needed to learn how to parent his kid, without my son and I catching hell.

BM started her crap with him yesterday about a 20 pair of pants, he didnt buy, because he is FINALLY getting tired of being a checkbook, on demand, whenever they want. I wasn't involved I just heard the summary. It ended to being a pissing contest between the two about who was going to get custody. Neither one of them have had even visitation rights since 2008. (long story) BM mother has full and sole custody awarded by the state. SO did 2 yrs in jail, and lost his rights and the meth head couldn't function, so she gave up rights. SO said he was in said contest to get 'dirt' on psycho, so he can use it against them. Now, ex Mil begged him to take custody 2 yrs ago. But that was before BM and my SO were ordered to pay support. SO other pays it. BM doesn't. BM is not even supposed to be left alone with the kid. Court ordered, mind you. So now they live together, the 3 of them, and get food stamps, welfare, and nearly 250 in cs. All of sudden, SO is no longer a good option for custody, and he's pissed. He has talked to an atty, and they said they wouldn't even start the process without 2000 up front. K. Not my problem. But we lived together at the time, and I was willing to get microscoped by dfax, to help him get his kid.

Now, I don't want his kid. Don't want to adopt etc, don't want to marry to help him get his kid etc. I am quite torn. I know the kid has a tough life down there with BM drug and craziness, and ex mil being somewhat worthless too (apple doesn't fall far) but I don't want all the responsiblity for this kid.

I said I wasn't going to bring up us living together til Aug. I could.t help myself, when all this came up last night. He was determined he would get custody, and soon. I was like, oh well, guess that pretty much answered my question, since SS said he doesn't want you living here, and you said he didn't even like coming here because my son is a bully.

He finally admitted that his kid is just jealous, and doesn't like sharing dad with us. Ok. And, what, you think that is going away when u have him full-time? He says yes.

Like all the issues will magically disappear because he now REALLY has to parent his kid, like enforce bedtimes, get him to school pay daycare, etc. Right. Ok. And now, when u get custody, you won't have the money to take him all over Damn town every weekend.

What I'm ill about, is this man basically just told me he won't live with me and my son, because his kid is jealous, but yet once he has his kid full-time, he will. I think that is still a put off, because SS constantly talks about a vacation they planned just him and dad, and such and such when him and dad get THEIR apt. Ok keep dreaming kid.

Dad pays half rent in some other guys house, doesn't have any bills like credit cards. He has a cell phone, a fine, and car insurance. He doesn't even have medical insurance, a car payment, or utility payments. And he can't seem to save money to get custody of his kid. Right. Yes, I know, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. But I do love him. At least I used to.

And I really don't know how far I want to push this. Either way, it just doesn't look that thrilling to me. I an force the issue, and say if you don't want to live with me now, you are not moving in here when u get your kid. Then my choice is being microscoped by dfax, and interviews, and all the crap that dfax does to decide custody. Attys, etc. And I'm pretty confident living with me, will help him unless they insist we be married. He thinks that if we aren't married, they won't give him custody . Or, I say ok, wait this out some more, let him and his dumbasses roommate worry about.it, where the kid doesn't even have a bed for the kid (i don't wither, I'm pretty sure we would have to move to a 3 bedroom) and then see if he gets custody.

And who knows, if I wait, I may still get the, well, he doesn't want sus living together so we r going to get our own place.

I'm sooooooo sick of my life, revolving around this kid. I get it, I do. He needs to consider his kid, but at what point is is just too Damn much. This kid has serious issues, and dad hasn't ever had to be a dad. Esp not alone. I really want to let him sink on this one, but at the same time, I want to love forward with our relationship, or get out. And I really don't want to get out, I'm just sick of the stalemate. And the crap.