How did these women find us???
The one common thing that seems to bind all of us together is a BM. A really ridiculous, petty, self-absorbed BM. I've begun to think: what made these women they way that they are. It's one thing not to care about us (the SM), but to make your own child miserable in order to make us miserable....what have you done with your life?!?! Why, who, what made you the way that you are. I can't ever, Ever, EVER imagine myself having children and then treating them the way that the BM treats these boys. I love my Skids and feel really bad for them...their BM doesn't want anything to do with them....HELLO, ARE YOU HUMAN? DID YOU NOT BIRTH THESE CHILDREN? How do people turn into such heartless beings....????
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Jealousy can make you do
Jealousy can make you do crazy things. I'm not a BM nor a SM (that is a gray area as I'm just someone's GF) but if you try to, at least a little, put yourself in the shoes of a very isolated, insecure, jealous, vengeful, irrational, envious, depressed, lonely, BM (whether all of these adjectives apply or not, or are realistic or not) you may find that all the horrible and completely off the wall shit they do to their kids isn't so far fetched. We are all human and we struggled, some of us more selfishly than others, without seeing the way it impacts our loved ones. Most often, it is our loved ones that get the worst of us because we think they can handle it. I will admit, some of the posts here about BMs' actions have shocked me stupid, but when you think about what drives us to do the things we do, anything is possible. Sad but possible.
If you wish to give off light, you must endure the burning.
I now feel like a product of
I now feel like a product of my own degeneration! The first thing I did when I read your post was roll my eyes and snicker. I wish dearly that there was growth in that kind of behavior, but I know better. Thanks for your post. I actually felt like I've opened my eyes twice tonight.
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Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.
Anton Chekhov
I meant to say, humanity,
I meant to say, humanity, all that we are, is so fucked up in so many ways that you simply never ever really know the reason behind someone's actions. To us they may seem absurd, to them, they are the truth above anything else. The worst thing is when the person committing the faulty act doesn't realize, or maybe simply doesn't have the mental capacity, the emotional intelligence, the self introspection and humility to see how their actions affect others. It's exhausting to even imagine why a BM would (example from a poster's real life) threaten her own daughter with kicking her out when she turns 16 (the girl is 8 I believe) if she EVER told her SM that she loved her. Obviously, to you, I, and the rest of the world who has any sort of moral and heartfelt judgement, this sort of comment is just plain stupid. Maybe in BM's head it's a carefully devised comment that will travel past the heart and mind of her 8 year old, to the father, then to the SM, then make its way into their marriage, their hearts, their good intentions.. you see where I'm going.
I'm in no way defending BMs. I stand with you when you say "HELLO ARE YOU HUMAN?!" because they can just be so ridiculous. But the answer is yes, they are human. Just a deranged, lesser version at that particular moment
Good vibes your way NotTheRealMom!
If you wish to give off light, you must endure the burning.
I don't think you can ever
I don't think you can ever know the true meaning behind why people do things unless they are honest and tell you why. My guess in my own situation is it is just like the counselor said in the court room....... BM is jealous, envious and vindictive. She creates things and exaggerates to make herself seem as the victim.
Bottom line - I believe she has not accepted whatever rejection there was when she and DH broke it off (never married) and is trying her best to make him pay for it - the most effective ways she can think to make him pay are in child support court and trying to withhold SD.
I just wish she would take a step back for a moment and concentrate her energies on herself and making her and SD's life in NC better. She makes good money on top of the 800 a month. She can have a nice home, car and things. If only she stop thinking DH and I were so dang important to chase after and attempt to hurt.
Dang we are not that important.... hell quit looking back at the past and forward to the future is what i want to tell her.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************