BM starting to crack??
SS3 is potty trained, bm hasnt seen them for a week so it gave me the perfect amount of time to devote to that!! I'm so happy, one down one to go!!
So yesterday she called wanting to see them DH and I go to drop the kids off, and BM flips out on us, because ss3 is wearing underwear!!! She was mad because she didnt potty train him I'm standing there biting my tongue so hard i swear the blood was running down my chin, then she was mad because he was eating a tootsie roll and then began to yell at ss2 because he wouldnt go to her... that was it for me and i spoke up, i wasnt mean i just simply said if you were around more than once a week maybe you could have participated in potty training, camden has a tootsie roll because he has kept his underwear dry all day, and don't yell at ss2 because he doesnt want to go again if you were around more maybe it would not be like this. She was like well i cant do much more than i am now, if i could go back i would have never married that bastard talking to DH. So DH finally puts kids back in our car and told her when she can grow up she can visit with them, but he is not going to put his kids in that type of hostile situation.
So she called this morning while i was getting ready for work and asked if she could see the kids, i asked if she was calm and if she collected herself, she said she was so i told her she could meet me at 11 and she could she the kids until DH was off of work and to meet him at 5:20, she agreed So i get there and again the kids start crying because they didnt want to go, and it tears me apart inside that i have to let them go and it eats at me everyday, i just feel so horrible and I wish everyday for her to just sign her rights away!! but anyways, she thanks me for letting her see the kids then out of nowhere starts crying and telling me how good i am with them and that im so much better being a mom to them then she is. Then she goes on to say I wish everyday i wouldn't of had them i guess i love them now but i hate being a mom! The whole time im thinking so sign your rights away!! But she is acting really strange, she just being really unstable and almost bipolar, and i personally really dont want her around the kids like that!! Maybe she is just starting to crack or maybe her drug habit is finally catching up to her!! I just wish we could prove that she is using drugs, we both know she is the kids have come home smelling of marajuana, and a cop actually confirmed that they did smell of it but refused to go knock on her door!
im just waiting for our break!!! Sometimes it just seems to far out of reach!!!
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wow
all i can say is that day will come, probably soon, when u can legally be their mom. until then, i think u are absolutely amazing. u are doing the most selfless, loving thing by mothering them like u do. u really are their mom. no court in the world is going to give her anything more than visitation and we'll see if she even takes that. keep ur chin up...you are doing an unbelievably amazing job. those are 2 very lucky little boys and ur DH is so lucky to have u.
papers
You need to tell her that she does not have to do it anymore that you will do it for her. She will always be the mother and nothing will change that,but she could do her self and the kds a favor and sign the papers. Those kds don't need to be around someone so unstable.
Have you asked her about signing them over to you?
I'm just wondering how she'd react if you had a frank conversation with her about them and let her know that she can have total freedom, total amnesty and a brand new start to her life if she would let you adopt them. If she really loves them, then she'll do the unselfish thing and let them be raised by a mother who wants to mother them, not one who hates having to take them. You can even tell her she could still visit with them, if that made it better. It doesn't sound like it would take much to convince her it's the right thing to do.
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ANNE 8102 | GEORGIA
I agree
with a few things...number 1, you are awesome and those boys are sooo lucky, big hugs to you for what you are doing for them!
I also don't think it would take much to get her to sign them over to you, seems she has a lot of hate for DH, she somehow makes him accountable for having the 2 kids in the first place, I think you building a relationship with her and getting her to sign the kids over to you is the best bet for them. Good luck and I'd just like to add, does your DH know how lucky he is?
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
the conversation
I decided after reading all the responses to casually call her and just talk, i've been nice to her through everything despite the fact she hates but is nice sometimes, dh told me not to but i figured i would try! Well i started out by making small talk then just came out and asked her, she flipped out! She told me yes i am a good mother to her kids but she couldnt allow someone adopting them, she said she likes the title of being a mom but just doesnt like all the responsibility sometimes. She said she likes the way it is now because she can see them when she wants but doesnt have to....I was upset to say the least i just can't understand what she is saying? Also she said she doesnt want someone younger than her to adopt her kids? As if that matters, im 5 years younger than her and DH is 3 years younger than her.. I dont understand how that is a factor? But she just won't budge she says that she thinks about it sometimes, but doesnt think she will ever go through with it! She started getting pretty snotty with me at the end of our conversation and then screamed at me that i was too young to take that responsibility, even though i have been raising the youngest since he was 2 weeks old!! I just really dont understand, and yes i am young but i believe i am mature beyond my years and i personally dont see that as a factor. I was more than ready then to take on my two ss and im more than ready now to make in perm. I'm just frustrated at this whole situation
Please tell me you recorded that conversation.
Does she have access to email? I'd send her a follow-up email asking her again so that she will, hopefully, respond back in writing the same things she said to you on the phone. I really think you could get her rights terminated involuntarily if you were to pursue adopting them.
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ANNE 8102 | GEORGIA
Ohio - I truly cannot
Ohio - I truly cannot believe that she said she "likes the title of being a mom but just doesnt like all the responsibility sometimes". What is wrong with this woman? Does she think she can rent out her children like she would a movie or a library book and then return them after a couple of days? This proves my point that some women never should have been born with a uterus and the ability to give life. Have you and your DH spoken to an attorney about your rights in regards to this?
Yes!!
But she says these comments on the phone or in person, so we never have hard evidence!! So its hard to prove, because like most people they cant ever imagine anyone saying that about their kids!! It really does kill me though!! I hate knowing that when she wants them she can have them and i hate the fact that when they are their, the TV is their babysitter! This has gone on for tooo long, and i cant wait for all of it to end!! And it seems that no one in authority will ever help us, we win sometimes in court but not when it matters most, then again we havent gone for full custody, but for whatever reason DH is scared because stark county in notorious for protecting unfit mothers!!
Also Anne, she has no access to the internet!! So hope for an email!
DH will ONLY deal with the
DH will ONLY deal with the ex through email. She gets so frustrated because it's harder to manipulate in email.
Ohio
You may have moved a little fast...LOL...I think to build a relationship over a month or so would be more productive. But no matter, use this as your stepping stone, you have planted the seed in her head now and if you just talk to her once in a while and ask how she is doing when you drop the kids, than maybe she will just turn around one day and say I'll do it..I don't think DH has a chance to get this to happen as their relationship seems very hostile.
The day she says it, make sure you have a stat dec (or whatever you guys call them) in the car with a pen so has no chance to think about it. Maybe you could even give her a copy stating that she can still see them 2 hours a week or something in there? Does she pay CS? If not, she should, and if she does you could use the lifting the financial burden card??
Good luck with her...
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
believe it or not...
she is trying for child support, we went to the first hearing which blew up in her face... i wrote a blog about it!! But DH got papers in the mail, and he has to give them his w-2 for the passed 3 years and fill out paper work for it i can't see what the point in giving her money would be since we pay for everything but she is trying anyways...!!
Geez
She's not bad eh? Doesn't want the responsibility but wants to be called Mum and get CS...that right there tells you there's a problem with the mechanics..Hmmm..
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
Crack her like an Egg !!
It must be heartwrenhing for you when it comes to taking the kids to her. Private eye, maybe?
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!