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Over whelmed

Over stressed 36's picture

Submitted by Over stressed 36 on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 12:49pm

I know that my husband needs time with his kids... But I'm very frustrated that it seems to always be with out me.. Before I married him his older daughter took over the role of wife and mother of the house... After four years I would think I would be able to move past the frustration it causes me... Every time she is here or he spends daddy daughter time with her I feel like I am not important or my role has been taken... I can't seem to move past these feelings and it causes a huge fight between me and my husband every time... He has taken time with our other three daughters, yet I feel she is his favorite because the world seems to stop when she comes around... She stopped coming on a regular basses and that effects my three children too.. Because they miss her and they also feel how their dad changes when she comes... They make statements of daddy doesn't love me as much... As a mother this hurts me and I'm really resenting being a SM... I've tried talking to my husband, but anytime I bring my SD name it's an instant argument between us... I'm so overwhelmed I'm beyond thinking of ideas...

Comments

bartlett5157's picture

Submitted by bartlett5157 on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 12:52pm

I don't have any advice really but I have the same problem, anytime I bring up any problems I have with SS it's like he instantly snaps into fight mode like he has to protect his devil spawn from the evil step mother. ugh. It's frustrating when you feel like you can't ever have a real conversation with them and talk things through. Maybe try counseling so that there is a third person there that can intervene when he gets in defense mode?

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sat, 12/29/2012 - 12:58pm

So SD doesn't come around regularly (wonder why...) and your DH spends regular time with your other daughters...yet they're still whining that "daddy doesn't love them as much."
HUH?
Sounds like your house is full of hard to please females and your DH is screwed all the way around.

Your DH should be able to enjoy some time with his older daughter daughter without you or anyone else trying to make him feel guilty about it or making it a fight.

Try to figure out why you're so jealous of any time he spends with her. In the meantime, do something fun with your own daughters while he hangs out with the other one. Stop sitting around moping and resenting. It is pointless.