Father's Day - is this selfish?
SD16 plays a travel sport that involves about 5 weekends of travel tournaments. DH and I are attending 4 of the 5 (the other one SD will be also missing as she is going on vacation). We choose to only attend the Friday/Saturday portion of this coming weekend so that we could be home on Sunday to celebrate Father's day with extended family. BM says SD is hurt that DH won't be there to spend Father's day with her.
I'm feeling like it doesn't matter either way. My opinion has been based on these things:
She ignores us when we are there anyways.
She will be playing in the tournament not spending time with DH anyways.
We are spending all weekend at her events for 4 weeks straight except for Father's Day, including the two days before.
Father's Day should be about her father not about her.
We both have father's of our own we'd like to spend a little time with.
Now, we fully agree that she did not plan this, it's out of her control but really???? she's hurt? SD looks for any reason to feel 'hurt'. She and BM are professional victims. Does this qualify?
Am I off base on this?
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Comments
Yep !
Yep !
Sigh. How old is she? And I
Sigh. How old is she? And I have the same question..is she the only child? Is she old enough to understand ? I mean this is not T-ball tournament is it?
Uh...yeah well. I agree she is looking for a reason to "be hurt". Take it from a stepmom of MANY years who did nothing, nor did daddy do anything to straighten out the "hurt victim" ...we now have a 39 year old brat that looks for any reason to "be hurt".
Last month there were
Last month there were countless blogs about BMs making the choice not to spend Mother's Day with their children. Those moms were called all sorts of nasty names. Why is it different when a father makes the same choice?
To be fair, most of those
To be fair, most of those were more along the lines of "we offered BM to have the kid for the day", not "BM isn't coming to this kid activity on Mother's Day!"
If Dad refused to have the kid come to the house for the day because he wanted to go do something else, I'd say it's the same, but this is a different scenario. IMO.
In both cases the parents are
In both cases the parents are opting out of spending time with the kids on Mother's or Father's Day.
It's the same here each year. When mom's do this in May, they are awful. When dad's do it in June, it's no big deal.
Why is that such a bad
Why is that such a bad thing?? :?
I don't know what the "right thing" is
I'm just pointing out that moms are vilified for not spending Mother's Day with their kids and dads aren't. I'm sure the moms who opt out of Mother's Day believe they have very valid reasons for doing so. I'll bet their current husbands/SOs would agree with them.
Good point
Good point
"In both cases the parents
"In both cases the parents are opting out of spending time with the kids on Mother's or Father's Day."
Except Dad isn't "opting out of spending time with SD". She's going to be playing while he sits on a bench - not exactly "spending time together". Now if this were, say, a Father/Daughter dance or something and he opted out, then you might have a point. I just don't see this as the same. *shrug*
I think you guys should spend
I think you guys should spend time with your own dads. She can do a little something special for him either Friday or Saturday. The other poster is correct. This is not about her.