Father's Day....am I wrong
Am I wrong to think BM has at least a small obligation to encourage and instill respect in her daughter for her father?
In general, I dont' think BM's have an overwelming obligation to make a father's relationship work with kids. THat falls on the father. I do think that any mother and/or father should at all times respect and encourage respect toward the other parent.
That being said, SD called several days ago and asked DH if she could go stay with her friend this coming weekend, it's his weekend and father's day weekend. When he told me, I said 'mmmmm', knowing he hasn't yet realized that it's father's day weekend. I refuse to be the bad guy and point it out. So she calls back again and now wants DH to travel 1 1/2 hours to pick her up from friend's families home. I refuse to put aside all my plans on father's day to run around after her when she could care less. So I point out to him that it's father's day and it would have been nice if BM had just told SD, "NO, don't even ask your dad, you need to spend the weekend with him"
I honestly would have this response for my own kids. Am I wrong to expect that from BM?
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Comments
I don't think that's an
I don't think that's an unfair expectation - sure, like you said, it isn't her responsibility to make their relationship work but whether she likes it or not, he is the father of her children and she should WANT them to be respectful, personal issues with him aside.
When I was a kid, my parents still reminded me when it was Mother's/Father's Day, and until I started working they would still take me out to pick up a card and something nice. That part may be a bit much, but you get the idea, I'm sure.
THat's how I feel, no gift or
THat's how I feel, no gift or card expected but to make plans with friends on father's day seems a little disrectful.
Doesn't matter what we think.
Doesn't matter what we think. The BM's generally don't seem to care. I know I shouldn't generalize, but if you read these posts enough, that is the concensus.
Unfortunately I think that is
Unfortunately I think that is true. Must be being a bitter BM trumps being a good parent.
I'm sure you are right. I
I'm sure you are right. I have higher parenting standards than BM and quite honestly probably DH. "I" think it's only good parenting for a custodial parent to suggest to a 12yo child that it's disrepectful to put your father in that position when it's father's day. "I" feel it's my job as a mother to teach my children the right way to treat people, all people, including their father. They need to learn to nuture relationships.
I guess that's why I am posting to get some other opinions. To me this seemed like a no-brainer but obviously not.
Now it's up to him to be the heavy and almost guilt the child into spending time with him on father's day.
I will add that any other day
I will add that any other day of the year I would agree, if she wans to make plans she should ask and he should yay or nay.
Thanks ! That is exactly how
Thanks ! That is exactly how I feel about it !
Now I need to go email my ex and ask what time he would like me to bring his children to him for father's day, even though it's my weekend - because it's the right thing to do. and when my dd whines that she doesn't want to go she will be told "too bad, it's father's day and you should show your father you care"