Now that I have a bottle of wine in..(Forgive all spelling mistakes) I need to vent again! Sorry!

SD19's room has been a wreck everyday of this week and everyday I go in and clean it up. My cleaning means - picking all her shit up and throwing it in the closet. Please don't tell me not to do it anymore - as mentioned in a previous blog - we renovated the bedroom completely when SD moved in with BM last winter - there is too much work and money in this room to let it get trashed! Due to my work schedule and her work schedule I haven't seed SD all week. Today, I finally saw her and I told my Husband that I will address her room issues today. He said to wait until he would be available. Of course I didn't listen and while he had practice downstairs I went into SD's room to talk about the problems I have with her not cleaning up after herself. Mind you - she was given written rules as to how she has to clean up after herself. It also states in those rules that I, eventually, would pick up stuff that's on the floor and throw it in the trash.
So, I went into her room to talk about it and she immediately welcomes me with a "whatever... I don't listen to you". I still state my point to her and she tells me that if I start throwing her stuff away - she would throw my stuff away... All that with a smirk on her face. I then (trying to keep my compulsion) tell her that she shouldn't even try that - reminding her in whose house she lives and that, if she doesn't like the rules, can move out. She went on with her attitude, full of whatevers and smirks and I ended up telling her that she has 4 weeks to move out. She just smirked and said "suuuuure"... I about exploded! I pulled my Husband and told him what happened and he started to tell me how I didn't listen to him, that he was going to address it and so on. I told him that I just wanted to stand my ground, I shouldn't need him to address an issue. He ended up stating that "THIS" is his blood and that I have no right to tell her to move out. So I finally told him that it is either going to be her or me. I'm done being disrespected in my own house by an almost 19 year old and that it is either her or me. And if it is going to be me - that would be fine - he can go on and live with his "blood"...
He said - that, if I go he would kick her out too... (Meanwhile I don't get the whole sense in that logic"... While we discussed this in the backyard (of course we don't want everybody else in the house toi hear this) SD left the house...

I'm sooooo done with everything... I can't do this anymore. This is not my problem, I tried the whole disengaged thing, but it is not working for me... This is MY house just as much as it is my Husbands and I can not have SD wreck my house, my life and my marriage...

I love my husband very much, but I'm ready to move out if I have to. This is making me sick!!!!!

I know that if the roles would be reversed - I would not let my child treat my Husband like she treats me. I'm disappointed and beyond angry... And, as a matter of fact, I'm going to open another bottle of wine!