SD14's manipulation
So, if you have been following the few blogs I've posted about SD14, you know that we haven't had her with us in a few months now and she basically ignores DH's every attempt to contact her.
Yesterday, DH's dad calls him and says he and SD have been texting on and off all day and he's trying to establish a relationship with her again (since basically she's been ignoring everyone unless they're buying her something or taking her places).
DH's dad asked SD if she would consider coming over to his place and having a sit down with him and DH and try to work through the issues she has with her dad. She said "ONLY if a counselor was there". WTF???? I don't get that one bit! She LIED to her counselors for attention and we stopped paying for her sessions after we discovered that and of course, she blames anything and everything bad that happens to her on her dad anyway.
So, DH's dad asked DH if he'd be willing to pay for one session at the counselor with SD to "get the ball rolling" with his daughter again. Thank GOD DH said NO! He's been there, done that and this girl is such a manipulating liar that it would just be time and money wasted. She has no reason to be ignoring him anyway, she's just pissed that he's actually stepping up and being a dad instead of her doormat.
FRUSTRATED for DH, but he seems to be fine.
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Comments
Has your stepdaughter ever
Has your stepdaughter ever been in "the system" before? I saw this a lot with kids who decide they don't want to deal with their parents. Most of the time it was a kid from a home where rules and structure existed and they didn't like the rules or the structure. They would claim all kinds of shit to their caseworkers and then suddenly, rather than being in trouble for being uncontrollable, my client would be forced to go to therapeutic visits with the kid who just lied about why she was in trouble to begin with. These are the same kids who years later would get busted for drugs or alcohol and then claim they have all these problems because they were "abused" or "put down" or whatever. I don't get how some people can be wired that way....take some damn responsibility kid!
No, she hasn't. We
No, she hasn't. We encouraged (and paid for) her to start therapy a year ago when it was very obvious she wasn't dealing with the divorce or my and her father's relationship well. She had several sessions with the 3 of them (BM, DH and her), then a few with just DH and her and a few with just BM and her and then she was individually seeing the therapist for 6 mos.
After a while, the therapist recommended all three of us have a few sessions together (me, DH and SD) and that's when the lies were discovered. She had claimed that I withdrew from her, deleted her off of FB, stopped calling and texting her, and that ruined our relationship. What she neglected to tell the therapist was that was during the first MONTH of my coming into the picture and her MOTHER wouldn't allow me to have that kind of contact with her!
Then the other, more important lies: she told her mom that I said it was her mother's fault the divorce occurred because she broke her marriage vows to DH. That part is true but that never ever came out of my mouth to SD! She'd only used that against me because I wouldn't allow her to come to a party I was having and she was pissed off.
Then it was telling the therapist that she was involved in my daughter and I's ATV accident on July 4, 2011. She wasn't even there during the accident, she and her dad were on another 4 wheeler several minutes ahead of us on the mountain trail and didn't see us until they turned around to come look for us. So here she was bellyaching to the therapist getting all sorts of sympathy and attention from her saying it was so traumatizing to be involved in such an accident and she had suffered physical and emotional scars from it!
So after we called her out on her lies, we agreed that she obviously isn't benefitting from therapy, due to the fact that not one single thing she ever shared with the therapist was the TRUTH and we stopped paying for sessions.
She doesn't take responsibility for anything and learned to blame it all on daddy from her mother, because that's all her mother would do. SD got a bad grade in science? Daddy's fault for not helping her with her homework the night before, even though she said she got the project finished and didn't NEED help. The dishwasher wasn't loaded? Daddy's fault for not reminding her...see the pattern here?
Good for DH!!! Finally
Good for DH!!! Finally another DH that has reclaimed his balls and spine back from his ungrateful, pos kid!!! Wooowhoo!!!
Yeah had he not reclaimed
Yeah had he not reclaimed them from her in the first 6 mos of our relationship, I never would've stayed or married him! She realllllly had her mini wife claws sunk in deep when I first met them. DISGUSTING
She probably knew your DH
She probably knew your DH would not go for it so now she can say she was willing but he's the one who is not. More manipulation.
Oh, I hadn't even looked at
Oh, I hadn't even looked at it that way but you're 100% absolutely right! How could I not see that?
I'll definitely bring that up to DH. Thanks for pointing it out. It makes perfect sense.
these poor therapists. my
these poor therapists. my sd16 did the same thing. lying out her ass at therapy.
Yeah SD had this therapist
Yeah SD had this therapist SNOWED until we had our joint session and discovered all her lies!