will it ever get better!??
I am on my second marriage. We have been married for three years, we dated two years before. I have three adult SD 27,25,22. They all live on their own and have their own children. We got along great prior to the marriage. Almost to the day of the wedding I became the wicked witch. I have tried to talk to my husband but or course he does not see it. He says that I am picking on his daughters. They are very rude to me, when he is not around. When he is within earshot they are overly nice to me, they will tell their kids to call me grandma. But when he is not around they are told to call me by name. The other night I was at work and my husband and his daughters had a "party" at our house. This is not the first time either. They will plan a cookout or party and make sure that I am not able to be around. I had an emergency at work and needed my husband but No, he had been drinking with "his girls". I would never do something like this to him. Maybe I should!!
I don't know how to bring this up to him anymore, it just puts a wedge between us. Not to mention that anything I tell him is told to his daughters. He told me that he discusses everything with "his girls". I do know that if I knew what I know now we would not be married.
My husband is a good man, good provider (we still have seperate accounts). We have great times together. I have three boys who would never dream of disrespecting him. They actually think alot of him.
Our kids do not get along-have tried to have "family " get togethers that always turn into SD in a seperate room. Oh by the way. SD 2 named her daughter the same as my grand daughter (who was 1 year older). SD 2 stated that my grand daughter would never rate in their family. Which that is ok with me cuz she is not part of their family!
I just needed vent somewhere, I don't want to end my marriage but that is always where I come back to. I know I am not alone but at times I am miserable.
I tell myself that SDs don't know what they are missing-I have a great relationship with my daughter in law and my 2nd sons girlfriend.
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I would personally work on
I would personally work on your relationship with your husband and biokids/ grandkids.
You can extend an olive branch to occassionally get with them. For dinner. Remain distant yet polite.
As for the parties. I hope you don't have to do clean up.
And I'm petty enough to have a party for just my BIOS.
I struggle with this as well. SD20 and SS15 want nothing to do with me. Yet want what my kids are given
^^^ This ^^^
^^^ This ^^^
i feel for you it's kind of
i feel for you it's kind of similar of what i'm going through only the sd lives with us and does what your step's do act nice when he's around and my husband and i have a 7yr old son and she hugs him and acts nice only in front of dad . when we're not around she's mean to him and has tried bullying him..I've been trying to work on my marriage but to no avail he only sees that she's a great daughter and couldn't ask for a better daughter..he is blinded to whatever it is she does..i am exhausted from being positive about our relationship and i'm at the point that I leave it to God..I hope you find strength in God or get yourself a strong support system as friends and or family..
Thanks for all the comments.
Thanks for all the comments. So true mom2tomany!! I am a nurse and even discussed my problem with our staff psych Dr. He says it is pure immaturity and jealousy. It makes me sick to listen the way they talk and bash their real mother but yet in the next breath (out of dad's ear shot) all the material things their mom has and does for them and their kids.