UPDATE ON TO RESPOND OR NOT TO RESPOND????
First I want to start off by saying thank you sooo much you have saved my sanity. I did not respond to her because all of you are right, I think it pissed her off more, I checked her myspace page again today and it still says, My MOM taught me if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all, but now she added At least some moms taught their daughter's values. This I find funny because she is fighting over the computer having no idea if I check it or not. So again I will not respond but I need your support in knowing I did the right thing, I can not believe someone would stup so low to keep brining up the mom thing, she knows my mom died almost 3 years ago, the first thing BM said to me was, that my DH was only with my because my mom is dying and she can't wait for that to happen so they can be back together. Well they did not get back together and I know she is doing it to hurt me and it is, but Karma is a bitch and I pray we get full custody because that would show her. It just hurts that anyone would use the death of another to get at them, especially a mom. I do find it ironic that she says her mom taught her values and she is going around trying to hurt me by throwing my dead mom in my face, does that seem like someone with values??? Well please help me keep the goodness, I just want to lose it, but I know that would make me no better than her and I can not talk to my DH about it because he thinks I should not even look at her myspace page and he is right but for some reason I can't help myself.
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Like looking in a mirror!
I feel like you are writing about my life! My SS3's BM is CRAZY! I always check her myspace because that is where she picks up the men that she dates or on craigslist! My SS3 has been through 7 or 8 guys in the past year, and those are the only one's that we know about! She always said that my husband was only with me because of money, I am a RN and for some reason people think that we make alot of $$. So what is she telling people that she is or that she is going to be....a RN. Sick Bitches! Excuse my language! Keep your chin up girlfriend!
You are doing the right thing
do not respond to her. It is important to just make her think you do not check it. If you respond now she knows she can get to you...you don't want that.
Just think of how great it will be if you get custody, you can just smile at her and it will drive her crazy! No words needed
Thanks maybe you could add
Thanks maybe you could add me to your buddy list and we can lean on eachother, I know I need it to make it through. If only she knew how much she gets to me, but I will never give her the satisfaction.
Stay Cool..
First what a bitch..and Im putting it nicely....!!!!!!
BM is baiting you...she is probably upset that you didnt respond, so she had to add more insult to injury...
IGNORE IT AGAIN, I know its hard, but obviously she wants a response from you..and a confirmation that you check out her page. Dont give her the satisifaction. You have values, dont go to her level..PLus when it comes up to custody issues you dont want anything that will make you look bad.
That is awful the things she has said to you. I could think of a thousand things I would say to her, but a person like that is just looking for a response, dont give it to her, thats what she wants.
You crawl into bed everynight with your husband and he loves you. that all that counts. She is nothing.
Stay strong..keep us posted.
Don't feel bad
I still check out FHs exs page, as well as this "friend" of his that was trying to get with him when we started dating, and for a while after. Like you though, I would never want to give either of them the satisfaction of knowing I even know they are alive, let alone that I am bothered by that fact.
Hang in there, hopefully you'll be celebrating very soon!
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein
don't look at it
your only rubbing salt into your own wound. i don't like my SS's BM b/c she's a shallow, off the wall nut case and I know I'm more of an mature adult, so I could care less to look at her myspace (and I'm sure she as one). The only time I think about her is when I have to deal with her for SS. Why lessen your self. In order to beat her, be better than her and thats not hard. These BMs are insecure with themselves and/or jealous thats why they attack us. They feel threatened. So stand tall and proud and DON"T show weakness.
my advice
right a letter DONT SEND it but write down what you would say to her if you could send it, I find it helps purge the feelings and it also gives me relief as though I did do something.
I had a therapist tell me to write down on a journal the feelings I had towards people good and bad and just write how I felt about it, dont worry about spelling or grammar, and now when I feel need to vent, I write a letter to that person, save it as a draft revisit it and delete it.
i hope this helps a little
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."