I searched in google and found this site...I had to write what my issue was first or I was going to explode.
I am 25...I was 23 whe my family suddenly changed from just me to 5, and then 6...it was crazy but it felt right.
Before that I lived in three different coutres, did my own thing, I was married to a kid for a couple years..I was a kid too... My former husband JIS was married for 8 years, had a bunch of kids, loved his ex wife for the first half of his marriage and hated her for the second half. he got a divorce 2 years before he met me.
When we decided I was moving in I asked JIS to bring the kids to the country I was living in so they could meet me there..instead of me just invading their home....the mom came with so the kids could stay there with her and JIS could stay in my apartament...we all hung out all day for that weekend...I then knew there where no boundaries set between JIS and his ex..they werent toghether sentimentally..but it was way easier for him to let her come and go in his life and in his wallet just to avoid drama.....I felt bad cause I felt he didn't take care of his mess before we decided to share a life toghether and I did..I had to polish one or two things I must admit....It took me a lot of patience...but by now, boundaries are set with almost no confrontation needed...don't get me wrong.. I am not some passive agressive little girl trying to pretend I don't kill a fly...But I will be civil for as long as I can. It gives me much better results than irracionality.
the dynamics in my new house where absolutelly weird for me....I thought I could take my time and teach TNS all the stuff I saw she needed to learn, so I started helping at her day care just to get to know her...I thought I could sit down with TJS and help him with his homework his bedwetting issues, his ADHD, his diet,his diabetes... TIS and I love art so there... we could paint and draw and color and do projects toghether, help him take controll of his asthma, his hygiene, what a clean room looked like and how to keep it.....after 6 months I became a step mom...a mom..and I had my baby..so a mom of 4.......what to do? how to organize my time? are there any suggestions or advice? I you read what I posted before ou will see why I am asking this.