Let's just see how all this plays out...............
BM signed SD10 up for soccer.......HER decision, no discussion with us at all. BM got pissed that we are making her pay the WHOLE $60 for this - ha, go figure. (we paid $140 for softball)
So this past Saturday was the first game. I had been asking for a copy of the schedule since last Monday. I heard every time I asked "mommy forgot, she will give us one tomorrow". I quit asking after Thursday. Sometimes I think BM will purposely not give me the things I ask for just to get on my nerves, so I will NOT ask for another schedule.
So, now, it's our weekend. We don't know what time SD10's game is, we don't have her uniform or shoes. SD10 hasn't even brought up the fact that she has a game on Saturday. And we haven't heard a word from BM about bringing us her uniform or shoes or letting us know what time the game is.
So, FH decided tonight that we will not even worry about it. I am thrilled by this. In the past, we would have to call the BM and REMIND her about sporting events, and THEN WE would have to go to her house and get the stuff needed that she would inevitably "forget" to send with skids.
Well, FH says NO MORE. She needs to be responsible and so does SD10. If we hear nothing from BM tomorrow, SD10 will NOT be going to her game Saturday morning. If BM does call tomorrow, we will tell her she can bring the stuff to us or bring it to the game Saturday and SD10 can change there. SD10's games can be as early as 8:10 in the morning. BM will NEVER make it on time.
We shall see what transpires and how all this will work out.
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Comments
Well good for your Hubby.
Well good for your Hubby. This is exactly what he should be doing. Good for you guys.
Thank you. It just gets
Thank you. It just gets old, ya know. Having to remind a 35 year old grown woman of her responsibilities. We have been doing this for so long and we're just tired of the same exact thing week after week. WE always remember to send the stuff back home with the skids. SHE never had to be responsible for these types of things before because she had my FH to help remind her, like he's her dad or something....... We just don't want to have to go through the same crap week after week for a whole soccer season, and we're hoping that if we refuse to play into her "helpless me" game anymore, and that if SHE is "put out or inconvenienced", maybe she will remember the stuff from now on.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
I know she's just being mean
I know she's just being mean because we didn't pay for half of the soccer, but she was supposed to pay for half for softball, and pitching lessons, etc............ she NEVER does, so we quit asking. BUT we always makes sure she knows when sporting events are. We do it for the skids. BECAUSE WE'RE SO EFFING NICE!!!
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
I am SOOOO proud of him!
I am SOOOO proud of him! Your DH is a poster boy for what we have all been saying on here for soo long: The power lies in the guy's hands, and until he claims that power, nothing can change. But once he sees what setting and maintaining boundaries will do to change the dynamic -- he'll never look back!
YAY!!!
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
I am very proud of him. He
I am very proud of him. He is finally starting to see how he ENABLED the BM to be so irresponsible and neglectful, and THEN he would bitch when he would have to bail her out. I am helping him to "cut the apron strings" so to speak. We have decided that in this new year, we will no longer be inconvenienced by the BM's forgetfulness again. If SD10 misses her soccer game this Saturday, they will both surely remember next time. We are also trying to teach SD10 a lesson in this regards also, because the forgetfulness has gotten out of hand lately.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
Well at 10 your sd should
Well at 10 your sd should remember to bring her own stuff and know her schedule. Sounds like BM is passing on her irresponsible gene. I am so glad your dh is finally going to let this irresponsibility affect the two of them instead of the two of you. Wingnut calls here every damn day to "confirm" the custody exchanges. OMG they're the same every frikkin' week! Write it down if you can't remember 8 frikkin' AM
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Well, we have seen certain
Well, we have seen certain "BM" behaviors with the skids. Forgetfulness tops the list. Also, in the mornings at BM's, they always get up late and have to rush out the door every morning. They rarely have time to brush their teeth! BM NEVER gets anything ready the night before........that takes too much planning!!!
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
We have the same problem.
We have the same problem. SD is a mini-Wingnut. The lack of urgency drives me up a wall. Wingnut is perpetually late and SD has no sense of "hurry up". I think she actually moves in reverse sometimes. She has two speeds slow and stop. That and the need for someone to "help" her with everything she does. She regresses 2 years when she is with Wingnut (can't zip her coat, tie her shoes, open anything, etc.). The two qualities about Wingnut (behind being a crazy narcissist) that I abhor the most!! Its a struggle to not pull my hair out. I look like a crazed lunatic by the time I get her out the door. I had to just start saying "if we're late because you're goofing off you WILL sit in time out for every minute we are late when you return". Surprisingly it works.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
That is awesome! Your DH
That is awesome! Your DH needs to put his foot down and I know just where your coming from. BM enrolled SD in dance class, and its on a weekend morning. Which coincidentally is the same time slot she refused to take SD to the swim classes we had enrolled her in because it was "inconvenient." And she expects us to buy her another set of dance clothes and shoes because 'her' clothes are too good to be at our home.
These BM's make no sense at all.
Aaaah, the ever changing
Aaaah, the ever changing clock game. 10am is too early for Wingnut to have SD ready and out the door when it is for DH's visitation, but on Wingnut's days 8am is perfect.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Your husband did great. We
Your husband did great. We had the same problem. We had to purchase an extra uniform for our house. That stopped all the running to get the stuff. Saved a lot of hassle for everyone. As for the schedules we never got it, we had to always contact the coaches and make sure that DH got it as well. Let us know if she misses the game.
I will let you know if she
I will let you know if she misses the game. But, to be perfectly honest, SD10 could care less if she misses a game. She has no concept of a "team". She just likes to socialize with her friends. She has an overweight/laziness problem, so we are trying to encourage sports.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
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