So I searched court records and BM got a DUI last Thursday night!
We are going to consult an attorney this week.
This is her second DUI. She got one in November 2008, less than a year and a half ago. The laws are VERY strict here. She will lose her license for a minimum of one year, spend at least 10 days in jail, and will have to go into a drug rehab clinic for a minimum of four days. She is not to drive AT ALL up until she goes to court which will be on Feb. 19. Of course she is trying to keep this from us, but guess what? We just may show up in court that day and surprise her. We don't want her pulling the "single mom with no help" crap. We will see what the attorney suggests. We have been waiting for BM to hang herself so we can go for full custody, and she did it.
I feel bad for the skids and I have all ready decided that I will transport them to their mother's as often as is reasonable. I will do this for them, but not HER. We decided that we will keep them with us all week and they can see her on weekends and have unlimited phone calls with her. BM does not live in our school district, so she will no longer be able to drive them to school. She will probably lose her job because I'm not sure if you can get driving privileges at all with a second DUI.
We shall see...........
This sounds horrible, but I am simply overjoyed right now. But I am feeling very sad for the skids who love their mom and enjoy being with her. We will explain to them that we are getting full custody of them to HELP BM, not hurt her. She needs to get some help and when she's got her life back together, we can go back to a 50/50 arrangement. This is what we will tell them, but that's not really our plan. BM will have to do a complete 180 before we will let her have skids back 50/50.
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That is awful. no way would
That is awful. no way would i want skids driving around with someone that irresponsible. Hope it all goes well for you an skids. I would be overjoyed too.
Why the hell would you allow
Why the hell would you allow a child to spend time with a repeat offense convicted criminal much less provide transportation for the visit?
I would nail her drunk idiot ass to the wall if I was your DH. I would also help the prosecutor nail her ass to the wall for child endangerment if there was even a remote possibility that she had ever had a kid near the car when she has been drinking.
I know you are going back to court to push for full custody. I would go for ZERO visitation with the alky BM or at the very least court supervised visitation.
Kick her ass!
Just me opinion of course.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
We're hoping the court
We're hoping the court insists on supervised visitation.
But, as far as driving the skids to see her. I would have to do it for them. I love them. I could never keep them from seeing their mom. I just hope that their mom learns her lesson this time and gets some help for her drinking, but I think that's a long shot because she comes from a family of alcoholics and NONE of them have sought treatment.
Actually, we're not going to let BM know that we know. If she is going to continue to take them to school in order for us not to know, we are going to call the police and report her. This will be done Monday morning. We also want the prosecutor to know that we live about a mile from their school and they get on the bus from here. That's a great idea to consult the prosecutor.
Thanks.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
RustyHalo, that's so sad for
RustyHalo, that's so sad for the skids that BM has a problem with abusing alcohol. However, with that said, it doesn't sound terrible at all that you're overjoyed she got a DUI - she did this to HERSELF, remember. The police took her off the roads before she killed herself, or even worse, killed another innocent person on the road that day.
I don't know if BM has been making your lives hell or not & for how long (sorry, don't remember all of your background info.), and I agree with and admire your stance on wanting the skids to have BM in their lives. However, your DH should use this opportunity to do everything in his power to fight for full custody. I agree with Rags - in that he should see this as a golden opportunity in dealing with BM's antics once and for all - and to make a difference in his kids lives.