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Officially blended

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Submitted by Sadielady on Fri, 07/28/2023 - 11:19pm

Over the next few years, my SS finished university and moved into his BM and her SO's home. He was a freuent visitor at our home and we really began to feel like a family. SS was dating a girl we all really liked and she became part of our family as well. All 4 of our children seemed to click and get along well. My DD and SD created a particularly sweet bond, making eye contact and laughing together when DH said or did something they found ridiculous.

Depression & Moving in

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Submitted by Sadielady on Thu, 07/27/2023 - 8:04am

We came home from our trip abroad feeling like a family. DH and I were concerned that SS hadn't been part of the experience but, in the end, it didn't matter. SS is very sociable and embraces social connection, and he jumped into family activites. SD, like my own DD, is naturally more reserved and takes longer to let her guard down. SD was now living closer to us, with her own mom, and SS was still away at school. After being away at school for 4 years, SD and her mom were figuring out how to live together again and there was conflict. Nothing over the top. Just mother and daughter stuff.

More introductions and becoming a family…

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Submitted by Sadielady on Wed, 07/26/2023 - 10:48am

It look longer for me to meet my future SKs because they were both away at university. Once we did meet, they were still limited opportunities to see them because of them living in different towns. And when they were home, we wanted to balance time with all of us with time for DH and his children alone.  His kids were 18 and 20 at the time so, although they were better able to understand that dad had relationship needs, we didn't want them to ever feel like he had found a new family to replace them.

Introductions

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Submitted by Sadielady on Tue, 07/25/2023 - 10:13pm

DH and I agreed from the start that our collective children's wellbeing and happiness were paramount. There could be no serious relationship between us without acceptance and support from all four of the kids. My son was easy. He was 10 years old at the time and lived to please others. He quickly welcomed DH, told his father that DH was a "great guy", and invited DH to join our next family picture. So, other than some lessons on etiquette and empathy, our job with him was done. My daughter (12 at the time) was a harder sell.

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And just like that…

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Submitted by Sadielady on Mon, 07/24/2023 - 3:00pm

I married my first husband for the same reason that I think most people do. I was in my mid-20s and ready fo start my life. He was kind, ambitious, and funny. We were good partners. But we weren't in love. At least I wasn't. I'm a sceptic, and I was raised by parents who should never have been married but belonged to a generation and culture that didn't consider divorce an option. I didn't really believe in "head over heels" love until I met my second and current husband. I should say when I re-met my second husband.

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