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sassymom's picture

Submitted by sassymom on Wed, 03/19/2008 - 7:02pm

Recently I was at parent conferences with our children when I realized it doesn't matter how long or what I do for my stepkids I will always be viewed as a mean stepmom. I had to confront a teacher looking at me as the bad guy when I'm the one who raises my ss not his bm who has never even darken his schools hallways or could even care that he is struggling. Yes I was upset with him b/c he's not trying to improve at school, but I was there trying to support and learn more ways to help him out so he won't fail. anyways I'm just tried of always being the bad person b/c of my title!!

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smurfy1smile's picture

Submitted by smurfy1smile on Wed, 03/19/2008 - 8:02pm

My BS16 is struggling in school. I get the looks too. Some teachers, in the past, have looked down on me because I am/was a single mother. School is a lot harder than I was there. I always excelled and loved school. Now my son is struggling but part of it is his own fault. I had him evaluated last year to see if he had a learning disability or what. He is very smart but very disorganized. Finally, this year - a whole year later - he is getting help. A case manager to go over his assignments with him and make sure he turns them in. He was also put into a resource study hall where teachers and aides are avaiable to help the students with questions.

You are doing a good job.

kathleen's picture

Submitted by kathleen on Wed, 03/19/2008 - 9:13pm

Teachers have a professional responsibility to teach the children in their care and support their personal development. I've suffered through an immature teachers devotion to BM resulting to an alienation of me and DH. It is a very awkward situation. Teachers, however young or inexperienced should show deference and respect to all parents involved. They should know better than ever the complexities of divided, mixed, "blended", family situations and should be prepared to handle them. If your teacher isn't handling this professionally, and you, as the primary caretaker feel dismissed by the teacher, take it to the principle. I believe it is important to speak our heart and share with people so they can better support us. Sometimes, people ar caught up in the defensive nature of our defensive world.

I have learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
–Henry David Thoreau