BF and I have been together for a year & half. Although we have known each other for 20 yrs when we used to work together in our teenage years. When we bumped into each other this past time (1 1/2yrs ago)sparks flew as they always have & we knew that we weren't going to pass up the opportunity this time to not be together. So, we started to chat & talk on the phone quite a bit because he was doing army training stuff before deployment and we weren't able to get face time so much.
Long story shorter...before he went off to deploy for 9 mos, we spent about a week together and then we saw each other again a couple mos. later for R&R for about 2 wks. All was great, but at that time is when he kept having problems with one of his exes. He has 2 exes...one with a teenage child and the other ex with 3 young children. Its the ex w/the 3 younger children that is causing havoc (still...).

My BF got back from deployment in January and we have been together since then. We had all these amazing plans for our lives since we tend to have...or had the same outlook on things. He wanted to get married and have a child of our own. To give me something no one ever had. (I have had no kids, by choice) I find myself completely ready now too.

As soon as BM found out he was back, she was ok to have him see the kids, which made me so happy for my BF. I had been helping him with whatever I could to make it a little easier when he missed his kids. I am the only one that sent him care pkgs. on his deployment, even on Father's Day, I made him a photo collage of all his kids and sent it. No one else did.
(I apologize if I jump around in my blog)

Anyway, we moved from our hometown to the big city(which is about 3hrs away) BM had stated that she too wanted to move to the big city, which was fine by me, that way BF could be closer to his kids & all, just as he's always wanted. Here's where BM starts to be all crazy & TOTALLY not being the least bit rational or...heck I truly don't know what to call it!!! First she wanted to make sure we were going to move to the city, because thats where she still wanted to move to...and we said "of course!", okayy, so that made her "happy", but when we moved, she threw a big fit about how my BF moves all over the place & is an absent parent. Then we made plans several different times to drive to our home town so BF could see his kids (since BM hasn't moved here, which she doesn't work, so I dunno how she thought she'd make it here!) And she literally finds ANY excuse to cancel. Whether they got strep throat or plain just are sick(for the 3rd time in a month) Well, every time she has canceled, I have had to see my BF fall deeper into a hole of depression over it. I have been there to clean up her messes, so to speak, and it only seems I am being pushed away.

After one night of trying to talk about it and getting him to open up, he made it sound that even though he doesn't love her & truly doesnt see himself wanting to be under the same roof w/her, that he felt he would do it, in order to see his kids again. See...this woman has full custody and its supposed to be amicable agreements to visitation. (yeeeahh right! Its never been that)I even said that I hoped he wasnt thinkin that "I" move out so that she can have her way of moving to the city and have the apartment WE chose together, just so he can be with his kids and she would be happy moved away how she wanted. Its an obsurd thought!

I see this all happening to him before my very own eyes and I feel helpless for him! She plays so many mind games with him. One minute she will talk to him on the phone and she will want to chit chat about her random thoughts and expect him to listen. And he does it, to keep on her good side, just so when he wants to see the kids that maybe he can. ITS SO FRUSTRATING!

I am not confident in giving my suggestions of what he should do to start changing this situation. I feel like I will annoy him or something. The rejection is too much...

He says he loves me & can't see himself with anyone else just as I feel.

My only hope right now is to just be there for him & try to slowly incorporate ideas of what he can try & do to change the situation.

Otherwise, there seems to be no hope for us...