Okay Ya'll I have read your comments and know what I suggested may seem harsh to have said that she give up her legal rights, but I have seen it time and time again that if a person is only concerned with the money and had already checked out as a parent they will ultimately give up their legal right in exchange for being financially free from their obligation.

Like I said to some of you, this was a one time thing that happened months ago and was not my place, but in that email I also offered her help if she wanted it not just telling her that she should give up her rights, because I know what it's like to be in her shoes. I made that same mistake but I was luck enough to catch myself before it had serious damage on my children, they were young enough not to remember a lot of it. What got me motivated again was an email from my ex's wife way harsher than the one I sent. I thank her for that, we now have a good relationship working as a team raising my daughters.

But these kids are 13 and 10 and they understand a lot more then a small child does.

We don't mind her being in the children’s life we want them to be happy and feel complete again. That’s all we have ever pushed for. Prior to her leaving out of state I told DH to offer to drop the CS just to get her to stay but she refused. They need her!! as much as I love them and as much as I do for them I will never be able to fill that spot in their hearts.

I know it may sound contradicting but Honestly as much as I dislike her approach and excuses and as much as it frustrates me, I don't want the kids to see her as a bad parent or feel she doesn’t care.

My Theory: Be involved fully and bring joy to the kids as a bio Mom, both physically and financially or just be gone all together and let us raise them the best we can without you and without your fight over money.