I know it's the question on every SM's mind, especially on this forum. BM is not doing what the doctor's have told her to do and it drives me nuts.

The first week of October I expected BM to have issues because DH and I got married that first weekend (Oct 6th). It was our week to have them and we were taking them out of state for the wedding. Any way on Sunday BM dropped and told SS7 (who was acting weird as it was) that if he needed to he could call her any time. Which goes against what the Therapist told her about SS7 learning to deal with his problems within his environment. Once she was gone SS7 started acting fine, until she called later that night. After he hung up is was back to fine again.

On Tuesday SS7 had an eye doctor Appt and BM showed up late. They met her in the parking lot on they way out, as soon as SS7 saw the weirdness started again, He proceeded to invite BM over for dinner because 'Sister' wasn't home. (I was out of state planning the wedding). DH said no and BM tried to explain that 'dad' probably had something special planned. BM liked started to cry a little. When DH finally got the boys in the car and BM left he told SS7 to knock off the sad/whiny act and that BM was never coming over to our house for dinner. Later BM called again.

All week DH said SS7 was very worried that I was not home.

The rest of the week was spent out of state and SS7 was very over-tired by the time Sunday came around. MIL and FIL were going to take the boys back to BM since we had some things to take care of before we could leave. When I picked SS7 up for a hug he like melted, just completely relaxed in my arms, DH was amazing. I told him he just wants a mother's attention so bad.

MIL told DH that in the car on the way home SS7 was acting weird, start telling her that no one loved him and every one loves SS5 more. He told her that BM doesn't let him take a bath until Wednesday. All the weird stuff that he does at our house MIL got the full show and told DH she was worried. So we had MIL write down everything that happened and that was said and we sent it to the Therapist along with our notes. Including SS7 doing that 'hand flapping/bouncing' thing he does DURING the wedding ceremony. Which BM say he does not do at her house. When MIL dropped the kids off SS7 clung to BM while SS5 went right into the house.

The following Monday SS5 had his IEP meeting. DH had already called the school and told them that he could not make it but they said they would call him and tell him what happened. Usually BM calls DH but she didn't so he called the school and they said everything was fine, the only thing that they changed was he will have a helper in the class more often because he doesn't know how to follow directions and do what the other kids do. Like during circle time SS5 will go over and roll around in the middle of the circle instead of taking his seat on his lettered Square or some days he will count to 100 and others he gets to 20 and says he can't. So now that SS5 is getting better BM seems to be loosing interest in him, while he is still her clear fave, I think she realizes that she is no longer able to convince teachers and doctors that SS5 is 'horribly' handicapped. He is just a little behind now. BM does not push him though or make his follow directions.

This Sunday BM dropped the boys off and they were clearly very tired (because she refuses to follow the Therapist orders to turn off the TV at night) but the thing that got me was SS7's skin was so dry and broke out (he has eczema) that it was almost bleeding. We asked him why he didn't say anything to BM about him being itchy and he just shrugged. So we lubed him all up and gave him something for the itching then I sat on the floor and held him for a little bit.

Also so far this week BM hasn't called or talked to the boys at all, she usually doesn't.

She just makes me sick, she wants the boys but she doesn't want to take care of them. Usually on weekends she leaves them with her mom or a sitter. SS7 has asked DH to stay home with him because BM never does, but I do. And I know this is minor to what some other SM's on here have to deal with. But DH and I have considered going for full custody. DH even said the other day (BM would never go for it) but he wonders how the boys would be if they had to spend 2 weeks with BM VS. 2 weeks with us. Because come about Friday we have them back into the swing of things, rested up, eating right ect. Then they go to BM's and we start all over.