I have been suggesting to my DH that there is something 'off' with SS7 for years and oddly enough that there is nothing wrong with SS5 (who BM thinks has EVERYTHING wrong with him). I am always nice about it and never pushy. I just point things out to him from time to time and when he says it's 'normal' i asked what he is using as a base to compare it too.

Well recently things have hit a all time high (or low) with SS7. Now A Therapist and A Teacher are saying the same things that I have said for 2.5 years now. So DH it kind of starting to admit that there is in fact some issues, BM still denies it of course but that is a whole other mater.

I am currently and have been for most of the 2.5 years (accept for a 6 month stint when I had a job) a Stay at home Mom to SS5 and SS7 (every other week). SO I have spent a fair amount of time with the kids and yes I see more things. But I feel like when I tell DH what happens that he doesn't always believe me or he thinks I am exaggerating. Well last weekend I went away on a shopping trip with MIL and left DH home alone with the boys. Now before I tell you what DH says about his weekend let me tell you what me - and the Therapist and Teacher have said. BM stance is that SS7 'is just a little boy'. As I pointed out at 7.5 he is hardly 'little', now is he is just a boy that acts little and shouldn't be surprised that he gets picked on.

Me:

- Shortly after moving in I notice that SS7 (5 at the time) became very attached to me to the point where he would literally hang on me. I told DH that I couldn't have the hanging, he was too big to hang on people, by the end of the day I was exhausted, and have since broke him of that but he still follows me around and HAS to be in the same room as me pretty much. If I go away for any reason DH says he starts acting weird.

- I pointed out to DH that SS7 does (and has since I moved in) do what doctors call 'hand flapping' and bouncing in place /running back an forth. DH wasn't worried about it until I pointed out that I have NEVER seen other children do that and the look on his face does not make me think that he enjoys it - he just goes blank.

- I am an ART person but I can't do craft projects with SS7 because he can not sit still and gets frustrated or bored before we finish.

- He does not play well with kids his own age and has recently gotten violent with SS5. He punched him the other day for 'being annoying'. Last week before I left SS7 asked to play outside, which was odd for him, but I let him. I watched him out the window and there where two little boys playing foot ball next door. One used to come over from time to time but since this new little boy moved in next door I have not seen him. SS7 asked to play with him but they said he was TOO LITTLE. SS7 came back inside and was very upset/sad. He pouted and I told DH about it. I asked what I was supposed to do, I can't make the kids play with him. He went back out later to ask again and was turned down a 2nd time.

- For awhile SS7 would frequently excuse himself from the dinner table to use the bathroom, some time 3 or 4 times during one meal. I would get frustrated because in my family we eat together at the table. Well we started turning TV's and video games off 30 mins before dinner so that SS7 has time to settle down before eating, now he can make it threw a meal.

- SS7 has no patience. He can not sit quietly and wait his turn.

- SS7 talks excessively - I mean non-stop. I have tried to work with him on filtering what he says to only the important things and not interrupting other people when they are talking. DH thinking it's 'ok' but I told him that kid will make fun of him if he says the wrong things.

- SS7 is VERY sensitive. He flips out about little things, over exaggerates, and fakes aliments to get sympathy.

Therapist:

- SS7 is very intelligent for his age but is also immature for his age.

- SS7 says he gets picked on at school. She said he it very sensitive and probably always will be.

- We showed her Videos of the 'hand flapping' so that she would understand what we are talking about. And it interests her to know when and why he does it. Seems like he does it when he is excited or bored. But SS7 says he doesn't know why he does it.

- SS7 uses the bathroom as and excuse to get away to take a break from a 'stressful' or boring situation. BM feeds them in the living room or bedroom with a tv on, we do not and SS7 was 'bored' during dinner.

Teacher:

- SS7 lacks attention in class and is falling behind. She suggested talking to a doctor about what to do with him (did not say medicate him just get suggestions).

- SS7 does do that 'hand flapping' thing at school when he gets excited. (Before Therapist said it doesn't do it in public so it's not an issue, BM says he doesn't do it at her house)

- SS7 excuses himself to the bathroom frequently at times (Therapist says he does this to remove himself from a stressful situation when he needs a break)

Here is how DH's weekend went.

- Friday he called me all stressed out. SS7 was in bed early because he was being whiny. in the car when they went to get dinner SS7 started crying and said his lip felt weird, after they got home and ate, he started crying that his throat hurt so DH gave him cough meds and put him in bed. 5 mins later he wanted to get back up because he was feeling better but DH sent him back to bed.

Also in the car SS7 refereed to the boy down the street as his 'BFF', DH was flipping out because boy aren't supposed to talk like that. His son sounds gay! I explained that SS7 is very feminine and probably picked it up from BM. Gay or not I think it's too young to tell but suggested DH spend more time with SS7 doing 'manly' things.

- Saturday he called me to tell me about his day. SS7 was a pain all day (imagine that). DH was trying to clean out the garage on what was one of the last nice days of the year. SS7 kept calling for him from the house, freaking out a few times because he couldn't find him (not that DH had moved mind you). DH told SS7 that he could come outside but he didn't want too. At one point ss7 started crying because he thought that DH was going to leave, DH explained that he was not leaving he was just cleaning and working outside.

When SS7 did finally come outside he found the kids playing next door again and asked to play (again). He was turned down (again) and was really sad about it (again). DH found out that the new boy next door was in the 1st grade, he was upset when he was talking to me because SS7 is in the 2nd grade but they told him that he was 'too little' to play with them. I reminded him that Therapist had said that he was immature for his age. And I told him that he can't make the kids like him.

DH said that SS7 was acting weird all day, SS5 on the other day had a blast playing outside almost all day and was no trouble at all.

- I called Sunday when I was on my way home and DH couldn't have been happier. He said that SS7 had been walking around the house all say sighing and being 'weird' but perked up right away when I said that I was on my way. When I got home followed me around form the time I walked in the door until we took them to BM's house. DH was just shocked how he changed when I showed up. I told him that it wasn't healthy, this need he has for a woman's presence and for once he agreed.

Sadly nothing about his weekend - shocked me.