Update on the female friend from F/B....
After my last post, I decided that I would help SO write a response to his facebook friend. It went like this:
Hey 'friend',
I am glad to see that you are well, and God bless your kids, they are so beautiful.
Sorry I haven't written back to you. As it is I don't write back to too many people because I'm not too up on Facebook and don't log on often. I want you to know that my life has changed for the better with the birth of my son, who is 9 years old. I know the value of growing up and becoming a father and have been blessed to find someone who loves me and my son and who I have been with for 9 years. Who would have ever thought that I j love 
would get serious with someone. But that's what time does to people, it makes people grow. As for my family and what you can see in the pictures everybody is doing fine.
Going back to you, I was glad to see the pictures of your mother and your sister and brother and stepfather :). xxx is so big!!! I will always have some kind of love for you, we did have some crazy memories together, and I'm glad to see you're doing well.
Not to be rude, and please don't take this as disrespect to you, but if you decide to stay in contact with me, I am only interested in knowing about YOU and your family, not really anybody else from the past. I respect my relationship and yours. When you find yourself saying that people don't understand, "I understand", 2 friends.....always,
SO
(I took out the names)
I thought it was a good response, and I sort of coached most of it (I had help from you guys). He was still logged on, and she came on and started chatting. This is how that went:
ff; the only disrespect was some love. I was wondering what i did to you for you to not write me.
I know we have grown FAR apart and its hard because my husband is so jealous when it comes to you. is your girl more understanding?
SO; yes she helped me look for you
ff; 
then i hope to meet her one day
SO; thank you..
FF; thank you? what's with all the formalities? your acting gay.
i don't know about you but i'm still me
SO; Bitch i'm still me too, just a better version of my old self
FF; there is always room for improvement, but you talking to me! No need for the properness. I know you! I don't care how OLD your ass is!
SO; i see you got jokes, lol
FF; ALWAYS! When are you going to call me, so we can talk & you can tell me why you acting like a little girl.
SO; FF, FF, you don't fucking change
FF; Nah, I have changed too much, it's just that sometimes you have to let the kid in you out and you bring out the old xxx.
everyone needs a little escape from their adult world!
SO; nah, not me, i can't bring out the old me again, i like the new me better
FF; Well i guess i don't know the "New SO" but I know the "Old" SO and he the one I remember.
So if the old SO is in there tell the fucker I said HI!
You don't have to become the "Old" SO.
SO; He's dead :). You're talking to the new SO. what's wrong with new and improved?
FF: just be REAL Fucker!!
Nothing, he's just acting like I don't know him!!!
SO: You did know him
FF; Well I am sure the new SO is a great person but if he can't keep it real then he SUCKS!
Because I am a totally different person but I still have memories
SO; likewise, but what do I need to do or say to be "REAL"
FF; Stop acting GAY! with the "i'm the new SO and i like him now" your acting like instead of getting older you grow a pussy!
Growing a pussy and being more MATURE are 2 different things!
I don't know what about me is offending you right now.
by the way, it was nice talking to you, take care...you're right, no one can take away the memories we shared, but i am working on making new memories, and i hope that someday you can be a part of them. some love, i just got it, LOVE YOU ALWAYS,
SO ; )
What do you guys think? By the way, I asked him if I could copy it, because I thought it was hilarious how she played herself, but he didn't think it was funny at all. He was so angry that she started offending him.
P.S. Yes, I know that there are grammatical errors in her messages, but I left them as is, just to show you guys where her head is...
- sm27's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
What do I think? 1)She
What do I think?
1)She sounds like a 14 year old trying to impress her friends with "bad words". Apparently, in her own little world, if you don't say "fucker" "bitch" etc, you grow a pussy?
2) No reason for your SO to say these phrases: " I will always have some kind of love for you" & " LOVE YOU ALWAYS"
I would never, ever let DH write that he "loves" anybody other than family. And if he did anyway, I'd be pretty pissed off...
Why is this ok?
Sincerely,
G
"I will die on my feet before I live on my knees"
Originally, SO wanted to put
Originally, SO wanted to put "I will always love you like a sister" and I said, "HELL NO!!! She is testing her boundaries!" They used to be best friends over 10 years ago, and she took it personal when he wrote in the first response that he would always have 'some kind of love' for her (which I didn't see a problem with, but apparently, it rubbed her ass the wrong way), so I didn't think it would be a big deal for him to write 'love you always'. I say that to a lot of people I know (love you), so I didn't want to take that away from him. Now that I think about it, it was me who ended it like that because I tried to end it on a positive note. Reflecting back on it, though, I feel like that last sentence was a mistake. SO just wanted to delete her after she wrote that last part, but I wanted to him to see what I knew would happen.
There are other ways and
There are other ways and other phrases such as...
"I will always care about you", or something along those lines, but "I will always love you" sounds a little to excessive IMO of course.
Honestly, why care so much "not to offend" her? things are what they are. If she is too crazy to NOT accept that he might "love her" as a friend or sister, then maybe they shouldn't be friends at all...
Perhaps he doesn't need that type of people around him. I have great memories with people from my past, but sometimes is better to leave those people and their memories where they belong, in my PAST, because they wouldn't really "blend" with who I am today, and honestly it would never be the same. And I am not willing to let anybody insult who I am today, we all embrace change, if someone stays with the same mentality from age 18 until age 50, then I feel bad for that person.
And in all fairness, every person is different, but 1) I wouldn't want to hang out with someone that talked to me like that
2) I wouldn't want DH to hang out with some girl that talks to him like that...
Sincerely,
G
"I will die on my feet before I live on my knees"
Unfortunately too many
Unfortunately too many people forget that who we are at any time is a sum of our past. Far too many people regret who they are and try to regress to some former self.
I for one relish in my past and appreciate how it has in large part made me who I am today. The guy who loves life, his work, his family and looks forward to every tomorrow just to see how it will unfold and how what I will experience each day.
It sounds like your SO's FB blast from the past has regrets as far as her current live and is attempting to go back to a time of more pleasant memories.
Your SO obviously has become an adult and is in a good place. He obviously credits you with much of that.
Congrats and enjoy......... and I would de-friend that friend if I were your SO. Or at the very least hide her. I do not have time to waste on people who will not move forward in life.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)
delete
delete
My dad's favorite movie
My dad's favorite movie quote is from the big freeze, when an old friend from high school sees another old friend and says that he knows him so well. the guy said : "No. You dont know me at all. You knew me for a short period of time a very long time ago."
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
I makes me sad when I see
I makes me sad when I see people caught in the past. They are so hung up on where they were in life, instead of where they are,or where they are going.
To me it sounds like you and your SO have your act together sm27, and a bright future.
Every town has an Elm Street
This is kind of off topic
This is kind of off topic and it isn't.
My DH has a good friend who he has known for many many years.
When they were both single they thought about dating eachother but decided that their friendship was too important and wanted to keep it that way. Did my DH ever sleep with her in his past..i dont know. We see her and her husband on a regular basis when we go back home to visit DH family. She acts like she " know him better then anyone" and that makes me feel really uncomfortable. I feel like the 5th wheel and not his wife, his partner. She has talked to my DH about her marital problems and she even talks to him about his EX girlfriends that she sees around. She is even friends with one of them. I told my DH that talking about his EX's in front of his wife was disresepctful. So he has asekd her to stop. Just the way she interacts with him, I can tell she has some feelings for my DH. My MIL and this friend of my DH are very close and when I am with MIL and this friend, I don't exist. I know my husband has friends both male and female and that is totally cool with me. But I do have issues if he has slept with them and when they bring up his EX's and ALWAYS talk about the past...a time before I was even thought of. I can't partake in a conversation like that because I was not a part of that past...so I sit quietly and listen.
" Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it's still dark"-R.Tagore