SoDisappointed's Blog

So it’s come to an end

It's time for me to be back on here, sadly, and share the end of what was. We all had been getting along better, mostly because I just didn't engage, or disagree with any of her kids. Things were going okay for about a year, as long as I kept quiet and didn't disagree with anyone. But I was noticing things were not going all the great and sensed my wife pulling away back around the first of this year.

Tags:

#separated #Its Over #Moved out

Nothing more to do

i love my wife. And I care about her. Probably too much. Because when she says or does things that echo what her kids (25,27,and 30) have said about me, it cuts me to the core.

I have done, not just tried, things to make the situation better. I have sacrificed nearly one day every weekend for her to go see her kids, and grandkids. But I can’t even go on vacation without these selfish kids getting into long drawn out conversations. Even on our honeymoon, the SD wanted her to call and figure out her renters insurance!

Emotional Infidelity

Marraiges can be destroyed by infidelity, or in some rare instances, the infidelity can be the catalyst for greater change. But both parties need to want change and have a common goal. That’s my premise.

Infidelity is not always an affair, which is the first thing people think of when you say infidelity. And obviously recovery from an affair is much more difficult than what I have proposed.

It’s Done

I tried one last time to explain how my now STBXW how her actions of leaving me for 3 days to stay in a hotel (a mile from our house) to be with her DD is hurtful and makes me feel like I mean nothing to her. Her response to my question of what are you doing to try to make things better? “I can’t fix it”, which means she is doing nothing and this will not change. Tomorrow would be our anniversary, but instead it will be the end.

Tags:

Divorce and Starting Over

So done with this

So... Tuesday is my one year, and probably last, anniversary unless something changes. My 24SD came into town and since “she is not comfortable staying here”, like I care at this point, DW has checked her into a hotel. That’s fine with me because until she can respect her her mother and my marriage, she isn’t welcome here anyway. This is not something I have shared with DW because I just play the disengagement thing and say, “hmm, ok. That’s nice”, and then change the subject.

Tags:

Is it time? (Rant)

I’m so lost and unhappy right now. I have tried to disengage and feel like I am failing miserably. DW went to visit MSS tonight since he is moving across country soon. I found stuff to do around the house and then took a long walk to have dinner alone. That just made me sad seeing couples everywhere. I came home and decided to relax on the porch until DW got home. She was distant, as usual after seeing any of her kids. I asked if she was ok... BIG mistake because it just sent her into a “I don’t know what you expect me to do” and “I can’t control how my kids feel” rant.

Why Do I Even Try?

I thought I would “check in” again and see if I can get some more insight and support from my fellow step parents. For those that have followed my blog and other posts, you may recall that when my NPD 30SS decided to blow up and drive a wedge between what was once a happy relationship between me and my DW, I had a real hard time with it. So much that after couples counseling and individual counseling I decided to seek medical treatment for depression. What a slippery slope that was. I do not have a chemical imbalance in my brain.

Dealing With Resentment

This never gets any easier. Many of you know my story, so I won’t go into it here. Let’s just say that disengagement is so very hard, from multiple aspects. There are mine fields you need to navigate, which you will inevitably screw up and have something blowup in your face.

Then there’s always the part of how your SO, whether your DW, DH, or just SO cannot, or will not stand up to their spoiled, self-centered, immature kids. And if they cannot put your marriage as a priority? All this makes this impossible to deal with.

What A Long Strange Trip It’s Been

Writing for me is cathartic, so this is probably going to run long. It helps me get all the thoughts in my mind down in print so I can somehow make sense of things. But this experience of being married a second time to someone that puts her grown children’s happiness above our marriage is something I cannot make sense of.

Read more about What A Long Strange Trip It’s Been
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