Step-mom planning first pregnancy

We received our tax refund, and it was enough for us to finally get his reversal done! We are so excited. I was even more excited when he said last month, "I've been thinkining...I don't want us to move into a house and have to wait again to save money for the surgery to get pregnant. By the time we actually get to that point, years will go by and the success rate goes down." So, he wants to get pregnant!!! I've made my appointment for a physical and family planning, and waiting to hear back to schedule his appointment. I haven't put much thought into this, because this isn't about HER, but I was reading something on a parenting board.

My FH's ex is a bipolar, suicial, drama queen. She's schedule to move many states away at the end of this month, and has explained that she will probably come to visit every few months or so. We have talked to the boys about us getting married one day and having babies. It's something they are both excited and scared about, because they are 5 and 6 and still miss having their parents together. When they visit their mom, they tell her things and us getting married and having babies is two of those things. Like many exes, we know if she knew of any dates she would do what she could to ruin things. She has even asked when we are getting married. She asks that every few weeks. So how do you and when do you tell the ex of the wedding and then that there's a pregnancy? Or do you?

I have invisioned that I will include the boys in our wedding planning, and it will probably be hard not to get excited and tell their mom. Should I include them in the planning and decorating but not mention it's for the wedding? And with the pregnancy, I definately want to include them in that, too. But would I wait after the first few months to tell them? Closer to the end? Should FH tell her about each thing AFTER the fact so that there's less stress and less chance for ruining things?

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We didn't tell Creature that

We didn't tell Creature that we were getting married (she was almost 5 at the time). She was in the wedding, but we never mentioned it was a wedding until she was with us for that weekend and we never told her where it was. Wingnut was pissed when she found out after, but too late for her to play any games. My fear was that she would keep Creature from us and ruin the wedding. I was also afraid she would follow us and crash (she's hired PIs to follow us in the past). When we got pregnant we didn't tell her until she announced one day that "mommy said soverysad is getting fat". At that point we knew we couldn't hide it. Professionals say that telling children too early is no good because they don't understand the concept of time. So I'd wait until it was obvious. This will give them plenty of time to prepare for a new sibling. Don't tell them a due date, just say something like after Christmas or around spring break. Wingnut asked me point blank about my due date and I just told her January. She asked several more times and I refused to give her a day. None of her business.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

srangel.. Soverysad== you

srangel..

Soverysad== you did your wedding the right way-"perfect" She had NO right to your personal business. I'm glad everything went perfectly.
And you are right. They will ruin it "IF" they know details.

As for being Pregnant..I wouldn't tell them anything. The children being as young as they are don't have to now yet.
Wait until your baby shower maybe or Very late in the pregnancy and then I still would NOT give them a date...Maybe a Month later or after your due.
I see no reason for anyone to know..except..The family that Loves you & those you love, Who wouldn't THINK of hurting you.

Some tell I think because they want to ONE UP the EXWIFE...When all it really is doing is causing you added stress.
IF your one of those types (not saying you are)

Just take out a wedding announcement with a HUGE Picture and added details..reception etc..LOLOL or give kids pictures down the road.LOL

Or Birth announcement Later down the road..
Until then keep your mouth closed and enjoy the fun of planning your weddings & pregnancies!!!

I have been thinking of our

I have been thinking of our wedding in the future and how we're going to do it..
It will NOT be large, as I am an older woman.(widowed) I just want it to be fun & memorable..

Idea's Ive had enclude:

A secret wedding; inviting our closest friends and family for a weekend have all our friends/family dress up as the characters...and tell them all it's a "mystery dinner party about a bride " for FH Birthday...LOL actually do the skits, mystery, and have someone else as the fake bride till the end,,,Then I appear LOL
Have them all think they're coming for a different reason and really do a mystery dinner 8 course..( lobster, filet mignon etc ) and at the end surprise we get married LOL I think it would be fun and FH can be the Godfather LOLOL
sorta like this>>> go to the link...LOLOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ujLpTZa4mU

A very elegant, romantic dinner party very limited guest wise..
with the best foods, lobster filet mignon, in a very romatic place...or island...

or
A texas style wedding...Invite everyone for a weekend to a dude ranch..VERY LAID BACK...
**IF not for our wedding I plan on doing this for our children & grands..AS A FAMILY TRIP.

I REALLY LIKE THE IDEA OF SURPRISING EVERYONE....THE DAY OF THE WEDDING..LOLOL.

If you want to surprise

If you want to surprise people, DO IT!!! I planned mine exactly how I wanted it. Simple, small and elegant. I had 60 guests and was able to plan the entire thing in 60 days. I wouldn't change a thing - right down to playing musical chairs at the request of my 5 year old niece.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

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