Do your parents dislike your stepkids?
I complained about my skids to my parents for years and they thought I was over-exaggerating and being dramatic. When they first met them, they went overboard trying to be "step-grandparents". Well after spending more time with them because of the birth of my DD, they began to see I wasn't exaggerating. We just took a four day vacation together and now my parents can't stand them. My mother is extremely hesitant to visit our home which affects the time she spends with DD.
I told our therapist about how rude and lazy they were during our vacation and he said that we need to keep them away from my parents for a while. I haven't told DH that my parents and sister dislike the skids so now trying to schedule holidays and visits is getting really complicated.
Anybody in the same boat?
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My parents aren't the
My parents aren't the sounding board for ALL skid complaints. But they have heard complaints about them over they years. Their own biological grandparents do not ask to see them or spend time with them and one lives about four houses down on the same exact street as we do and the other lives 1 mile away. My parents were going to not like them as soon as they spent an extended period of time with them regardless. TRUST ME. And that's exactly what happened. They've been around for 8 years and I've just encountered this issue.
We've had the conversation a
We've had the conversation a couple of times. I asked him before vacation and even during vacation to keep an eye on their behavior and he admitted later that he didn't do it.
Yeah, my parents treated them
Yeah, my parents treated them better than their biological grandparents. But with my skids, the more you do for them, it seems like the worse they treat you.
Unfortunately, my parents live some hours away so visits often mean overnight stays. My mom was supposed to spend this week at my house with DD, but when she realized the kids would be home most of the week, she told me that she didn't think she could do it. My SS is extremely rude to her...won't even acknowledge she is speaking to him and becomes visibly angry when she asks him to do something simple like take out the trash. And my SD will leave the room whenever my mother walks into the room and sits down and it's just the two of them. My mother has been nothing but nice to them so I have no idea why they treat her like that. She won't even tell me half the stuff they've done because I get so angry.
He knows. The last day of
He knows. The last day of our vacation, I lost it. I had to be physically calmed down. My father asked them to help clear out the beach house and they both got attitudes and SS shot my father the most evil look. Everyone was helping to take bags to the cars, except these two. They went and sat in the car while the rest of us went up and down bringing stuff to the cars. A 12 year old and a 15 year old. When I saw the look SS gave my father, my sister had to physically restrain me. I literally had to walk around the house several times to calm down. I told him what happened, I told him what happened at Easter, during the summer, etc., etc.. I have no idea why he won't do anything. He acknowledges that they're not "normal", but nothing really changes.
My mom doesn't have anything
My mom doesn't have anything to do with my younger SKids. I really find it unfair to them. They aren't included in anything at her house. She has lots of grandkids so she has lots of gatherings at her house that are set up for the kids, bouncy houses, pools lots of fun games...
She always wants my DS there but never my SDs. My family is strange. She accepted my sister's SDs even though she never gets to see them. She was just trying to gain approval from my sister. Not to mention she also has the neighbor kids over too and kids she doesn't even know.
My mom is good at pretending
My mom is good at pretending everything is fine, but my dad and my sister...not so much. Their faces show everything.
I guess I just have to try and keep them separated for now and pray that somehow DH will buckle down and do what our therapist has told him.
My father and I have the
My father and I have the exact same opinion SS. He's stupid and lazy and the fact that DW coddles him doesn't help. So we care for SS as best we can but we both know that one day, the real world is going to kick him in the teeth.
When I tell my mother of some of SS's antics, she rolls her eyes and says "I don't know how you deal with it" and just changes topics. She doesn't care much for SS but she doesn't care to talk ill about him either.
My grandmother is the one who's opinion is most telling. This woman is the most empathetic woman I know. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body and doesn't speak ill of anyone. One day, out of the clear blue she says to me "SS is a difficult boy to like."
But everyone in my family treat him as family. Birthdays, Chrismas, special occasions (ie Graduation ceremonies) they are there. In fact, they have done more for SS than my DW's parents have.
My parents never met them;
My parents never met them; then again they never met Chef either. And probably wouldn't because I have "abandoned the church" and am "living in sin."
That being said, HAD they met them, they would instantly disapprove of their behaviour. They have ZERO tolerance for noisy, disruptive kids who think they can interfere in adult business.