Want to surprise stepkids with Disney!
I have two stepkids, 9 and 12. Their mother sees them two weekends a month and lives about 10 hours away (this is the second time she has moved away from her children) My DH and I like to vacation every year and due to drama and scheduling with BM, we have not been able to take the kids on a real vacation. DH finally got tired and asked BM if he could take the kids on a cruise that leaves the country. She put up a big fuss and stated that she would need to go along which of course he refused. She finally said yes after being confronted by the children. She never wrote the letter that we needed to leave the country with the kids so we gave up on that idea.
We just booked a Disney vacation for all four of us. We're taking the kids no matter what. Problem is, we want to surprise the kids and tell them the day of. DH knows he needs to tell BM that he is putting them on a plane and they will missing four days of school, but he's afraid if he tells her she will put up a huge fight and will tell the kids and ruin the surprise. We're having a real hard time coming up with a way to tell her (at one point, DH didn't want to tell her until we got off the plane) without having her ruin the surprise. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!
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"She would need to go along"?
"She would need to go along"? Wow .. it never ceases to amaze me.
You will need to get them passport cards and she has to sign off on that.
I don't know what your cusody order says so can't advise you.
Disney cruise is awesome .. have a GREAT time.
As long as the cruise ship
As long as the cruise ship leaves from an American port and returns to an American port, they're still only requiring birth certificates. I just checked on that because passports can cost on the upwards of $175 after all is said and done.
Although honestly, passports are a good thing. The only problem is: BOTH PARENTS have to appear with the forms completely filled out and in hand to the post office or court house (depending on where you want to take the forms) if passports are being obtained for minor children. Absolutely no exception to that rule.
I was wanting to book Disney
I was wanting to book Disney for my family too..Could you maybe tell me about what you paid for your family vacation?? Its expensive yes I know...The cheapest I have found starts at $1500 but that isnt taxes and its only cheap hotel and ticket prices..
With the flight, hotel
With the flight, hotel (staying on the Disney property), and 5 day park hopper tickets, I believe it came in at $2200. There is a sale going on for late February and March.
Okay cool..Thanks..I hope you
Okay cool..Thanks..I hope you get to keep it a suprise for the kiddos..I love suprising my kids, seems like it makes it so much better dont it?? lol
Just got back from the Disney
Just got back from the Disney cruise and it was great. Honestly, we didn't have to do a thing about taking SS. We did need his passport. I do know that BM had to sign a paper when we ordered it a few years ago. Thankfully we have kept it and didn't have to do anything with her now since she really hates us.
I would not say a word until you are headed to the airport. If it is your custody and you aren't doing the cruise and just going to FL, what would a judge say if she took you to court. That you can't give the kids a great vacation? I don't think so. I don't think you could take a cruise since she won't cooperate on passports, but why not just do the vacation and tell her when it is too late.
If she was reasonable you could give her the courtesy of a heads up, but she is not, so why do it?
The day you are leaving, I
The day you are leaving, I would tell the SKids then I would call BM and tell her you decided to go on a last minute trip to Disneyland and surprised the kids with it, u just wanted to run it by her before you leave in a couple of hours. How can she say no after u already told the kids??
I agree with jsmom. First you
I agree with jsmom. First you need to see what the CO says and if it states that each parent has the right to take the kids on vacation and it is your dh;s time then there is NO reason he can;t take them and say nothing til you leave and to let her know where you will be. Other than that you don;t have to give the # to the hotel or anything else as he has a cell phone for her to contact the kids.
If she is reasonable then yes you can tell her. We are planning one for july and it is already booked. we did tell yuck but mainly b/c we knew she wouldn;t say no. how can she? It is dh's time and the co states that he has the right to take them on vacation and he has to let bm know where and when and that is it.
Now a few years ago we were going to go then but money was not our friend. lol anyway we decided then that we wouldn't tell yuck about lour plans til we were leaving so that she couldn;'t throw a fit. I do my homework well when it comes to this stuff so that we do not get in trouble and dh would have been with in his rights to do that. It is as long as he tells her the day you will leave and leave where and when and when you will be back. I would also leave my cell # or a # that she can call and talk to the kids once a day. That way it doesn't look like you don;t want her to have any contact.
We forgot about the
We forgot about the CO....probably because she never follows it and trying to get the court to enforce it is useless. From my recollection, I don't believe there is anything in the CO about notice when leaving the state. They leave the state all the time with their mother because she lives several states away.
We're doing Disneyworld, since she never wrote the letter to allow the kids to leave the country. So we figured something within the states would be the easiest.
Four days is a lot, but any
Four days is a lot, but any extended breaks they are court-ordered to be with their mother and we know she would never give up that time if she knew we were taking them on vacation. She doesn't take the kids anywhere during her time and being that DH and I can afford to, we feel bad that they never get to go anywhere while we're always planning for our next vacation.
Both kids are on the honor roll and we're going to work with their teachers to make this as easy as possible. BM might say something about the kids missing school but considering she doesn't express any interest in their schooling, hasn't asked for a report card in years, and took them out of school for two days to attend a homecoming football game at a college near her home, we wouldn't take her seriously.
Why do you really even NEED
Why do you really even NEED to tell her? If you don't HAVE to tell her (per the c.o) why cause the drama? You're going on vacation. Make sure it is indeed a drama-free VACATION. Have the kids tell her when they return if they so choose. The only thing that could get sticky is if they call her during the vacation and she flips out on them.
My advice to my DH about all his "what if..." questions when he poses them is "does it actually SAY that anywhere in the c.o.???. If not, you'll be fine.
I'm going through a similar situation right now because my father is getting remarried in Las vegas this weekend and DH and I have to go. It's not BM's weekend and SS10 isn't going with us. In fact, he knows nothing about it and we need to keep it that way. BM will flip out if she finds out DESPITE the fact that we gave her the right of first refusal (per c.o) Open and shut case you say? You'd think so. Not with this BM.
She WILL ruin the surprise if
She WILL ruin the surprise if you tell her ahead of time. Please don't do that.
I don't think it's a big deal to take the kids out of school unless there is some special needs issue. But this is from someone who regularly skipped classes all thru college. I would usually just show up for tests. I graduated in the top 10% of the class at a top university so not going to class didn't hurt at all.
I agree with most, check the
I agree with most, check the CO. If you don't have to tell her- then don't.
If you or your husband feel you MUST share some information- tell BM "Were going on vacation from [blank date] to [blank date]. The children will not be available during this time." And if she's crazy... "No, were not leaving the country" or if you feel like being a devils advocate "Were going to Alaska" }:)
Don't tell her where you're going unless you have to per the custody order. I'd hate for someone to ruin the surprise too.
I spoke with DH and he is
I spoke with DH and he is going to pull the CO. I think there's a need to tell her because of common courtesy since she is their mother and if she is not told, she will retaliate. Since she's moved away, things have been relatively drama free and we would like to keep it that way. We're kinda damned if we do, damned if we don't.