denied visitation today
hubby just got back from 100+ roundtrip to have his monthly visit witht the kids (teens, 2 emanicpated) and was stood-up at the connection point (church).
he called the kids and ex frantically and was finally given this explanation from the hypocrite BM (she is a devout "Christian" supposedly): "your visits are only on the 1st of month, which you missed, so you can see them in July".
background: we had to reschedule the 1st of month visit due to being in court to modify child support (an exhorbitant amount we can NOT afford)...the rescheduling was well-known to the kids and to BM.
if she had intent to cancel visit why did she not do it the night before?...I put a full tank of gas in the car for hubby to get out there and he had to drive over 100 freaking miles...she decides to cancel visit 20 minutes beforehand? WTF??
so hubby calls police and asks them to meet him at kids house...they talk privately to her and she regails them with her bullshit sob story of alledged abuses and harassment, blah, blah, etc.
one cop believes her and on cop feels sorry for my husband. the mean one kept saying sarcastic things to goad him into losing temper so he could cuff him and drag him away.
they told him the court order was correct and must be honored.
what pisses me OFF is that she routinely calls to reschedule visits if she has some other plans but we can't reschedule when situation is NECESSARY, like having to be in court, for Christs sake.
his kids were upset of course (I understand...its upsetting to have cops called...the nosy neighbors looking out their windows, etc.)
but damn, he just can't win this situation. I want to email her tell her how vindictive and unfair she's being but my husband made me promise now to...plus it would be futile and just exacerbate everything.
the thing thats scaring me now is child in question (the 2 older ones are emancipated) is old enough for a judge to let her decide...she may get bullied by BM to petition court to end all visits.
god, my heart is breaking right now and I"M SO FRUSTRATED!!!(can't email her, call her, plead with her) 
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I have to agree, things with
I have to agree, things with BM have to be like making a business contract and in writing and signed.
Sue her for harassment, the gas and his time at whatever his
pay rate is. Make sure the next round of court includes this instance, the police report, etc.......
I am preparing a lawsuit now for when my SS turns 18. I will be suing BioDad for reimbursement of every dime I have spent raising his kid (increased living expenses due to the best available school districts, unpaid medical and travel expenses, emotional pain and suffering for myself, my wife and our Son (my SS) and any other trivial monetary crap I can dream up). I won't win but I will take several days to bare his ass one last time in court and one last time so scare the shit out of him and make him bum the money for a lawyer from him Mommy.
I would recommend that your DH keep her manipulative ass in court often. He needs to let his Kid(s) know that he has not abandoned them and that he will not allow their Manipulative POS mother to keep him from them.
Chew her up in court and spit her out. If Money is an issue, look for legal aid options, father's rights groups, or any thing else you can do to keep her nervous and in court. File every possible piece of paper you can yourselves no matter how obscure.
Just my thoughts of course.
Best Regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
We are done with Family Court unless BioDad or SpermGrandMa
decide to go back for one last dance.
They are the ones that initiated the Family Court dance in the first place. They wanted nothing to do with my SS until SpermGrandMa heard that my Wife was dating someone at College out of state. At that point SpermGrandMa filed a custody motion (without telling BioDad) in an effort to get custody of my SS (for BioDad) in order to get out from under the CS (A whopping $110/mo) that they were paying for their worthless POS son after the initial paternity/CS mediation.
My wife noticed that BioDad's signature on the Custody filing was actually in SpermGrandMa's hand writing. When her attorney (she took out a large supplemental school loan in order to get an attorney to fight the custody suit.) smacked "HIS" attorney around asking who he represented BioDad or SpermGrandMa, "HIS" attorney resigned and THEY got another one. So the dance began. 5 different court dates canceled or postponed by them after my Wife bought tickets and flew home to appear in court. They made every effort they could to get her to abandon her Son to them by attempting to bankrupt her.
Then She and I got married and the financial stick shifted permanently in to our hands. I have relished every solid beating I have been able to lay in to them with when they crawl out of the idiot hole to try to gain some advantage in court. I have even changed from a stick to a nice long tube sock with a soft, squishy blob of shit in the toe that I smack them upside the head with every time they decide to initiate a court action. SPLAAAAT! I have had the Judges chuckling at my wording of my disdain for them while I am on the witness stand.
And invariably we have kicked their asses in court every time they have crawled out from under their rock. THEIR CS has gone up by almost 400% in the past 15+ years, and THEY are now on the verge of bankruptcy because BioDad can't keep his pecker in his pants. I am about to bankrupt two generations of the idiots. And happily so. But, I am also working diligently to secure the future of at least part of a third generation. My SS will be a member of standing in the community. He will be self sufficient, he will take responsibility for his own actions and he will NOT repeat the idiot toxic crap that his BioDad and SpermGrandParents have exposed the world to. He will be a success because he is my Wife's and MY son. All he shares with them is half of his gene pool. We will overcome that deficit as a family. They will not ruin MY son as they have ruined his BioDad and will likely ruin his three half sibs.
If they want to give me one more chance to prove how stupid they really are in Family Court, I am happy to oblige.
Civil court is another issue. Since the Judge told us the last time we were in Family court that since the unpaid Med expenses that the CO requires BioDad to pay have not been paid that the best route for recouping is Civil Court. That is where I will drag his sorry ass on my SS's 18th B-day. I will not only sue him for the unpaid Med expenses I will sue him for penalties, interest, and every other thing I can think up regarding the costs I have incurred in raising HIS son (My Son/SS) as well as for emotional duress, pain and suffering, harassment, etc....... .
Though I have gladly supported the boy as my own (he is my son after all) that does not excuse the BIODAD and the SpermClan for their toxic crap, petty bullshit and general toxicity of their very existence.
I will beat them at their own game and love every second I can watch them squirm and sweat in court as I put one more nail in their financial coffin.
Danny.
I detest these people
They have earned my pure hatred of them. They have tormented my Wife for more than 15yrs (to date), they have loaded my Son up with their toothless idiot crap for far to long all under the protections of the Family Courts. Since the Family Courts told me to take it Civil Court that is exactly what I will do.
I feel for any parent or child that is being victimized by Toxic Morons in the Blended Family Opposition (whether on the custodial side of the visitation side) and the idiot bottom 10%ers that make up the majority of those that practice Family Law (Judges, Clerks, Attorneys, etc.....) I have nothing but respect to the exceptions of the bottom 10%er rule that I have experienced in my own exposure to Family Law.
Sorry for the rant. But, hey ......... you asked if I was clogging up the Family Law system.
Best regards,
Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)
Stand_by_your_man
Stand, I know it is no substitute, but can your DH call and at least speak to his children? Can he tell them that he's sorry and disappointed that he did not get to see them (and not go into the whole issue of why, unless they bring it up). Was he able to speak to them while the cops were at their house?
I'm sure it was scary for them to see the police at their house, especially with one of the police officers treating your DH like that. I just hope they realize that he was there to see THEM and FIGHTING to see them.
So, maybe communication with the ex is out.. but what about communication with the kids. And not about what happened, just about the disappointment of not being able to spend time with them.
I don't know if this is a good thing to suggest. But I just would like those kids to know why what happened, happened (meaning he was trying to see them, that's all). Also, I do believe that if he has to go back to court to get BM to not pull that stunt again, he does so.... Or threaten her with it, at least.....
he spoke to SD19 only...
daughter was upset because cops have been called before and it was a traumatic memory...(its been an ongoing 'tit-for-tat' cop-calling game since before the divorce).
the last time was occured when SS17 called us while he was locked in his bathroom and BM was trying to break down door so she could physically assault him (she's a slapper, a pincher and a biter). DH dropped everything and drove 100 miles to have cops meet him outside house to intervene (could not show up by himself because she fabricated domestic violence during divorce and has threatened to do it again if he challenges her authority).
that time the cops tried to tell DH how hard it is for 'single moms to raise teenagers these days' and the police dispatcher lady said BM could "beat the shit" out of her kids if she felt like it.
to answer the other question: Yes, he can sometimes reach the kids by phone but they usually don't answer due to either the BM paying their cell phone bills and having a fit if they talk to him or ongoing PAS issues...they claim at this point they only care to see him occasionally.
Honestly, I don't know what the hell is going on...the daughter came out and got her birthday card, the son showed his face, looked irritated and then went back inside..the minor child (SS15)never made an appearance.
oh yeah...after he told ex the cops were on way the kids tried to phone him 15 times to plead with him to 'call them off'.
*sigh*...good times, eh?
'...sometimes I wonder how I keep from goin under"