Heya thanks for your comments. Oh we have always kept finances separately thank god . We just have a joint account for bills. In this country unfortunately, you have to notify court of there is an adjustment to your salary.
I know sucks. It actually only affected one bm this time which of course is the one I hate with a passion. Blah.

We are lucky in that we can afford to pay our bills and these are always covered (homelessness has become such a big Issue here because families were really struggling to pay all of their bills and put food on th table) so we are lucky in that respect. Just forever caught in the cycle of renting and will never be able to afford to buy.
I try not to dwell on it but it is sickening the amount of money going out of his account each month. They will always reap the benefits of dh hard work. It's so frustrating.

Thanks for the helpful comment ladyface you are right - I will def try to take this on board and implement it. And tommar I would respond to your comment only that I am mindful that you are sick so I will keep my opinions to myself on that one! Thanks though!! Wishing you a speedy recovery!

First of all, to the ladies who have provided a sympathetic ear - thank you so much. I feel much better getting that out and if I were to vent about it IRL I would come across as a right miserable bitch LOL.

I didn't respond to the first "put on your big girl panties " comment but seeing as it has popped up again, I think it warrants a comment. To say to a 31 year old MOTHER; to put on "her big girl panties" is frankly, not only completely insulting and condescending but also negative and unhelpful. I do not understand the lack of empathy and immaturity demonstrated by some posters on this site. You know absolutely nothing about my life but rather than asking, act no better than a troll spitting venom. Walk a day in my life with two bms. I love my husband, I wanted a child with my husband and I will not be vilified or made to feel like i did something wrong by having a child with my husband. The other two children were the results of short relationships (no marriage) and while this is hard to handle, yes my dh made many mistakes when he was a teenager/young adult until I feel I came into his life to make it better I think.

So go on, walk a day in my shoes. With two evil, lazy bms. If you had actually researched rather than judged you would know that unmarried fathers have ZERO legal rights in this country. I have had to deal with one bm who basically moved countries and took sd without even telling us because legally she doesn't have to. Imagine what my dh goes through on a daily basis. This is the same bm that whenever she loses a job promises my dh access and then looks for extra money. Whether dh had given it or not, he is blocked from seeing sd. It was sd birthday this week , another one my dh does not get to spend with his daughter - how horrific.

We then have bm1 who we have to deal with on the other side of the spectrum, constantly thriving to play some part of integral role in our household. So much so that she actually booked the SAME holiday for her and family that we were going to take with ss. Same week and everything. Crazy bitch. I have had everything taken from me by my husbands past mistakes. Everything. Even giving birth to my own son was not sacred because bm herself gave birth days after me and we were in the same post natal ward. I have had to sacrifice so much to have my son but his smiling face makes it so worthwhile after years of being the infertile stepmother. I also feel justified in venting about my husband working 13-14 hour days and the only people benefiting are the bms. Women such as bm1 who still can't afford to cut ss hair despite the hefty cheque my husband sends each month. I would love to have that much money to spend on my child! I also think venting about never being able to afford to buy a home and to be in a situation where we are stuck renting for the foreseeable future is justified and until you are in such a situation, your comments on this one are simply unwanted or necessary. You have no idea what it's like to live in this country and try to get anywhere. Of course we would not be living here if it were not for ss. Of course i would not be going back to work full time if it were not for skids. Of course i would not have an hour and a half commute to work each day (one way) because we can't move any further from ss. I will drop my baby off in the morning at the crack of dawn, go to work and collect my baby when he is going to sleep for the night. I will essentially not see my own baby on those work days because of the situation with bm1 and ss. But I do what I have to do for my family and to put food on the table. So again, tell me to "put on my big girl panties".

Never mind, all the personal issues I have overcome in my life. I have worked hard and educated myself. So I will not be spoken down to by a person severely lacking compassion and empathy. This is the biggest indicator of lack of character and I just envisage you as a person who wishes they could speak out more IRL who hides behind their computer spitting venom at people you perceive to be weak. Anyway, I am a much bigger person - and if I can maintain a relationship with crazy bm1 for ss sake, your comments are water off a ducks back all the best to you.

It is only 1030am and you have already gotten me thinking about the bottle of red I have set aside for tonight. }:) I would normally share with hubby but seeing as ss is coming, all mine my friend haha