A lot has happened since my last blog post. SO and I have had SD7 all summer, and we thought that we were going to have her for the school year too since we really didn't know where BM was (and no one else seemed to know either - BM's own mother thinks BM is a drug addict. Bingo!).

About two weeks ago BM gets in touch with SO and says that she will have him arrested for kidnapping if he doesn't give SD back to her immediately. Since there is no written custody agreement and SO is not listed on the birth certificate (he does have a DNA test) we gave SD to BM. SO's mother works for the DA's office and had asked several lawyers if SO really could get in trouble for this and they all said that he could get in a lot of trouble if he didn't give SD back to BM. And get this - BM has no job and no stable residence. It was agreed that BM would take SD to BM's father's house where they would stay for the school year. We felt terrible about putting SD in this situation, but knew we would do no one any good if we were both in jail on kidnapping charges.

Fast forward two days later and we find out that BM and her father got into a huge fight b/c BM's father wouldn't let BM's skeezy jobless boyfriend live with them. BM takes off with the bf and SD in a car with no tags and no one knew for sure where they went.

So, this past Sunday morning at 1am we get a phone call from SO's mother telling us that SD and BM are in protective custody about 30mins away from us b/c BM's bf beat the crap outta BM and shoved SD to the floor. Of course we immediately go get SD (all this is the day before school starts). The police inform us that when they got to the residence BM was intoxicated (on lord knows what) and that BM wasn't wearing any clothes. Tell me this: WHY THE F**K DID BM SEE THE NEED TO GET SD BACK AND PUT HER IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION WITH NO HOUSE, NO JOB, AND THE FRICKIN CAR BROKE DOWN! SD tells us that she had to sleep on a fold-out couch with BM and the abusive bf and that "sometimes mom slept naked". WTF. SD also called BM a bitch.

So now papers are filed for permanent custody, SD is in school, and a restraining order against BM is in the works. SD stated that "it is so good to be home". Home. Where she has her own room and two parents to love and care for her.

So many things have been kept hidden from SO about BM. For instance, we only found out two weeks ago when all this started that BM lost custody of SD in 2005 for neglect. Kind of a big deal, but no one told SO. I don't think it'll be difficult for SO to get permanent custody at all. We both have stable jobs, stable transportation, and a stable home. And we don't fight all the time and abuse one another.