I just lost it over nail polish
I am 600 miles away on a work trip. Sd13 got home from bm's last night and according to dh she was a bit argumentative, haha, that's what you get for raising an entitled psychopathic brat. Well tonight I called to check in and everything is fine, house is frine, cat is fine (fed, sleeping on the back of the couch fat and sassy, so I know sd hasn't been torturing her like usual), then dh says when sd was at her friends house, the friend was practicing painting ails and messed up her nails, so sd is borrowing my ail polish. He said he told her it was ok as long as she put it back. I asked him if he even thought to tell her to ask me, and he said he didn't think I would care. I then said is this not the exact thing we talked about while she was gone, specifically going in our bathroom and getting my expensive nail polish (last time she spilled half a bottle all over the carpet, I came unhinged!). He said he didn't remember. I reminded him that every time she goes in our room/bathroom, things go missing. We argued a bit and I just gae up. What he doesn't realize is I knew, because I was gone and I has told her she could no longer borrow my nail polish, she would go to him for it. I hid it way in the back of the cabinet under the sink, so I am sure te mess s going to be lovely when I get home. The manipulative little twit!! She knew....*sigh* I dont have the energy. Anyone have any advice? Don't forget she is nutso and violent.
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I like this. Of course she
I like this. Of course she isn't going to use/spill/destroy his stuff, she is perfect Polly fucking princess when he is around. When it's her and I, she is a demon child. I'm going to price a lock cabinet, if for no other reason to make my point!
I am still ticked off, the
I am still ticked off, the thought of her using my polish on her nasty, dirty feet is making me sick to my stomach....maybe because ive been a little blue anyway, but I really am just feeling like a beat dog about now. Nothing is mine, nothing is out of reach of this psycho. I'm so very tired, I've started having nightmares where sd is breaking into the house (I don't know, I get the feeling in the dream she is a burglar, or some kind of danger) and me or my dh end of shooting her after a violent struggle. I don't know what that means, but I think it might mean I'm fed up!
Thats funny I feel the same
Thats funny I feel the same way.. I have always had my own bathroom and kids shared one themselves. I use a more expensive body wash because husbands usual house hold soap breaks me out.. Remodeling cut us down to one bathroom and now I can't keep soap in the shower for more than a week. I asked her to stop using my soap and then she told grandmother and her mother that I wouldn't let her have soap to bath with. She had tons of bath and body works before she hauled it all to her moms and the soap that everyone else used was in the shower for her to use as well.... I didn't deprive her of such needs but that is the way she made it out to everyone else. It wasn't only with my soap it was with all my personal things that were in the bathroom. My personal things were no longer mine and it bothered me in the biggest way!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm where you are -- been
I'm where you are -- been where you are -- and am at my wits end too. It's nail polish, my hair dryer, my hair straightener, my body wash, my expensive perfume, expensive lotions (that my daughter bought for me!), and most recently MY EYE LINER! That grossed me out -- and amazingly, did you know this? Eye liner can unzip itself out of a make up bag, walk itself acrossed a hall, and land itself onto a desk of a closed bedroom ALL BY ITSELF!?? I was totally amazed too!
She not only LIED about it, but my DH believed her lying ass! I was so frickin' pissed I thought I would come out of my skin! My SD is 17, and is the biggest frickin liar on the planet. But if she throws a big enough fit about it, threatens to run away because how dare "momof5 confront her", and then even says "may God strike me dead and take my life if I'm lying!" Seriously. So my DH's response to that was "why would she take that chance?" (That God would strike her dead)?
(I'm waiting until you all finish laughing) -- cuz when I told my girlfriends this, they couldn't stop laughing.) Yah, this is my frickin life.
I've had to go buy a new hair dryer, new hair straightener, put a lock on my bedroom door, hide my things in my bedroom, and tote them back and forth to the bathroom all so that she won't steal them!
So tired of this shit.
been there. and you didn't
been there. and you didn't lose it over nail polish. you lost it over your things once again being made to be available for sd. i lost it over chap stick and my camera before. that bitch was always taking my chap stick, not borrowing, keeping it, and then getting shitty with me when i told her to give it back, like i had no right to take it from her. she even told me in her snotty tone "well, i NEED chap stick!" not my problem, bitch.
when my cousin graduated, i was looking for my camera. nowhere to be found. i was almost in tears that i wouldn't be able to take pictures of such a big day in my baby cousin's life. fdh acted like it wasn't a big deal. i told him my cousin graduates ONCE, and if i don't have pictures, i will never have them as that day is not going to repeat itself. he admitted that sd asked HIM if she could use MY camera. (to take slutty pictures for her my space page). he let her. i asked him why he was allowing her to use MY things instead of telling her to ask ME. i told him i was sick and tired of her always asking him for MY stuff. i ended up finding it in her room, buried like she didn't want me to find it. fucking bitch. can you tell i hate her?
i don't understand why these asshole dads can't just admit that they screwed up instead of defending their stupidity and their kids tendencies to take and keep stuff that isn't theirs. i even told him over the chap stick episode after he went out and bought a bunch of chap stick that it wasn't about chap stick. it was about her constantly getting into my personal things and keeping them! i wonder how these idiots would like it if we let our brothers, dads, sons, etc, get into their stuff all the time? oh, well that would be totally "different", of course!
I have a SD13 who is just
I have a SD13 who is just like this. Thank God she no longer comes over because life was unbearable, always walking on eggshells in my own home. But, while she was here we always had to think way ahead of her which I hear you tried by hiding the polish way in the back, under the sink.
I bought locks for my children's bedrooms and told my husband that if SD's behavior continued, we would be buying locks for our room as well.
Dreamy30 has the right idea but I would take it a step further...I'd buy a cabinet that was large enough to put somewhere that would be an annoyance to DH's space (like placing the elephant in the room thought) so that DH will be inconvenienced. Don't give DH any warning, let it be a surprise just like having your things taken with no warning. When he asks why this is in the way, you can tell him what I often say to my DH..." I'd rather have you annoyed than for me to be pissed off all the time, since it is me who is being disrespected". Or you can say....
He who doesn't parent HIS child get's the SOLUTION parked in front of his__(you pick)__!
You get the idea? Good luck
I have the same problem with
I have the same problem with my DH and SD14. She moved in with us in May and both she and DH seem to think that because she lives there she is ENTITLED to anything and everything that is mine. I found some of my VS body spray in her backpack one day, I have to hide all of my shampoo, conditioner, hair stuff because I know she'll use it since she uses MY bathroom to take a shower (when she has her own right next to HER room), she has stolen my clothes in the past (coudln't prove it, but there was NO doubt in my mind, no other explanation), and the lastest was when she was getting ready to go to DH Aunt's house for the summer, I purposely HID my brand new luggage that my mom got me for my birthday.. so it wouldn't have to be an issue of me looking like the bad guy telling DH that I didn't want her to use it. Well, I went to work, came home the night they were leaving and there is my brand new luggage sitting on the front deck! DH apparently went searching for it and never bothered to ask me. We got into a HUGE blow out about it, where he of course claimed I was being childish, selfish and petty and that I just hated SD blah blah blah. NO! my point is we ALL need boundaries! Order in the WORLD is based on this. But it's like talking to a damn stick.
i'm sorry to hear my sd has a
i'm sorry to hear my sd has a personality twin and that you got stuck with her, daizy. sd19 was the exact same way when she lived here. taking my things and putting them in her make up bag to keep on a daily basis. getting into my brand new, expensive and unopened shampoo and conditioner without asking, and it was put away in a cupboard, so she obviously went digging to see what she could find. feels perfectly entitled to all of my things and gets pissed off and cocky when i take them back, as if I am the one doing something wrong.
i'm so glad that bitch is out of here. i hope she enjoys buying her own things now. you know, i would never have dreamed of taking someone else's stuff like that as a kid. i wouldn't have taken my own mother's stuff, let alone some other woman's things! wth is wrong with the sd's the sm's on this site have to deal with?
I'm so sorry you have to deal
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this! I'm in the same boat. SD15 thinks that it's just okay to waltz into our bedroom/bathroom and help herself to my shit. Has taken my makeup, and taken it to a friend's for an overnight....and left my makeup at the friend's house.
Seriously. Who DOES this shit???? Oh...wait. Entitled, brat-ass skids. That's who.
First, DH needs to get with the program. He doesn't have any business authorizing anyone to use your stuff. It's YOUR stuff.
Second, once he gets with the program, put a lock on your door and keep her out. That's what we've had to do.
Or maybe because she assumed
Or maybe because she assumed since it is daddy's house everything is for grabs"
i think that right there is the issue with sd19. to my knowledge, she didn't help herself to anyone's stuff but mine. and even when fdh moved in with ME to MY place, it was "dad's house" to her. apparently, we are not allowed to have anything. daddy owns it all and just lets us use it. and since these bitches were loined from daddy, they have rights while we sm's are only granted occassional priveleges. (eye roll)
I put a lock on my closet
I put a lock on my closet door. FDH told me I am "paranoid"...but when we went on a trip and left SD18 there on her own he was cramming his stuff in my locking closet...hmmm...who is paranoid now? LOL
I hide everything in my
I hide everything in my bedroom closet in bags!! DH just put a lock on our bedroom door. I would be pissed if SD did that to me!!
DH cannot understand why my bedroom closet is such a disaster. I have everything I own shoved in there!! I can't find anything so theres no way SD will be able to!! It sucks when I actually need something because it takes forever to dig thru all my crap.
I also purchased an under the bed box where I hide all my purses and DH has no idea its there. No one looks under the bed!!
I'm definitely not alone on
I'm definitely not alone on this,mwhich makes me feel so much better. I felt like I was being horrible, it's just nail polish right? But yes, it is more than that, it's privacy, ownership, boundaries, being able to have a little faith that when I come home my things will be where I left them. *sigh*, dh told me tonight she is doing soooooooooo much better. I don't want to go home!
No you are definitely not
No you are definitely not alone. Sigh. DHs. Hmmmmmmm they are so clueless. My DH has said that about my oldest SD23 -- "I think she is finally warming up to you." Shortly after that I get a scathing email from her friend telling me how I treat SD23 like dirt, and then shortly after that she blocks me on FB. Yah, DH, you're right, she's warming up alright. Duh.
My DH even made the comment that SD23 was even turning into a decent human being the other night. I started laughing. He said that because she was saying that he shouldnt' be letting SD17 go to friends' houses, etc., so that she has the opportunity to have sex and party. Funny thing -- I've been saying this for quite some time, but then SD23 says this, and now he finally is listening. WTF!??
And you're right -- it's not about the nailpolish, or even the eye liner -- it's about respect and boundaries.