What to do?
Well - I am new to this site and hoping it will help. I have a hard time ignoring all the things I am asked to ignore or "get over" and maybe having a place to vent will help.
The most recent issue I have with my situation. We alternate weeks with my SD9. I have a BS1 and pregnant with second- to give you background. no matter what happens between the adults, I feel it is best to keep a positive attitude toward the children and never say anything negative about them, SD's half-sister (from BM previous marriage) or parents, grandparents....blah blah blah. Recently my SD informed me that her grandmother(BM side) is calling my son another name. She had mentioned before that she thought his name should be (blank), but i never gave it thought. It was just now that she said the grandmother actually asked questions about him and refers to him as (blank)- not his name. We spoke with my SD about how that isn't nice and she should just ask her grandmother to call him by his name. She came back today and said that when she asked her grandmother to please call him is name- she said that she could "call him whatever she wanted." After my SD - very politely i must add- asked again to please not do that- she said "Well how about i just don't talk about him to you then!" WOW! I feel like this attitude and behavior is extremely negative for my SD to be around. I must add- my family and I have ALWAYS responded very politely and positively when she mentions her half-sister (not at all related to us). This is just the latest of a long string of negative things said to her about me and our family. Isn't that a bad environment and couldn't it effect how she responds to me and my BS? I can't ignore everything. Somethings need to be addressed, right? How should it be handled?
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Comments
Poor SD. Sounds like she was
Poor SD. Sounds like she was trying to be a good kid. With "adults" like grandma, you guys are in for some real ugliness. I hope SD doesn't get PASsed out!
Thank you- it makes me very
Thank you- it makes me very sick as well! I know I'm his mother and naturally will defined him no matter what; BUT he is an innocent toddler! It makes me feel better to hear other people say its wrong and hurtful to SD.
The fact that the GrandMother
The fact that the GrandMother is playing juvenile games and upsetting your SD is pretty pathetic. I agree that some things need to be addressed. Your SD expressed her concerns to her GM and GM was an idiot.
So, have some fun with it. See how GM feels when SD starts calling her Grouchy Granny or says things like Nice Fake Teeth GrandMa!
Facts are not good or bad so have SD stick to the facts that will bare GMs ass the most.
Of course as Sparents we should not sink to the toothless moron level that the blended family opposition level sinks to so we can't really do these things but wouldn't be fun if we could let our imaginations run wild and truly bare their idiot asses every chance they give?
In reality I would continue to discuss it with your SD in a respectful and supportive manner. Kids remember who the idiot adults in their lives are and as they get older the kids will distance themselves from the idiots and they remember who the supportive and positive examples in their lives are..
I would counsel SD to not acknowledge the conversation if GM is talking about SD's little brother or sisters and uses incorrect names. When GM can act like an adult, then SD should acknowledge the conversation. When WombGrandMa uses the wrong name for your son SD should respond "I am sorry Grandma, I don't know who that is. I don't have a little brother with that name". Then move on. The way to bare WombGrandMa's ass on this one is for SD to be the perfect little lady and much more mature than the geriatric member of her WombClan.
Welcome to the community by the way. I hope you find it a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.
Best regards,