My SS is 22 and my DS is 3 - We rarely see SS anymore but DS just loves him. When SS is here, DS is stuck to him like glue and SS is wonderful with him. I've always been curious as to how to handle this when DS is old enough to understand their relationship. The same with DD - she's 5 months. I don't use half when talking about SS just because when he is around, he's really good with DS.

i have a half brother, but simply cause i did not know him growing up i say half brother simply to help ppl understand why i don't know my own sibling, but when talking to ppl telling how many siblings i have, it's 2 brothers and i leave it at that.

i say let the kids decide how it should be protreyed, if someone is curious they can use their brain to figure it out (by seeing which kids you have regularly and which kids you don't) that alone would tell me

I have 3 sisters (2 full, 1 half). I don't differentiate my half-sis because our mom raised us all. Plus my half-sister's biodad was never in her life so she spent EOW visitation with me, my other sisters and our biodad.

My husband has 1 brother (half). They were both raised by their mom, neither of the biodads stuck around beyond the age of 5.

In both cases, the half sibling has a different last name than the mom and other kids. But that is really the only difference.

However, I can understand your perspective as I was a SM for a longtime before I became a BM. I really struggled with the concept of SS being a part of my family when he was never around. Why did we have to include him on the Christmas card photo when he doesn't even live with us? I can relate to those feelings of wanting my family without any intruders. For me, I got over it by seeing how SS gets along with his younger brothers. They all adore each other and it doesn't matter whether they are full/half/step - they are all brothers.

I do have a hard time saying 'your brother' when talking to BS10 about SS11 or vice versa. There will be no 'half siblings in my current marriage. I use names, not titles as BLM said. But, I do explain the technical title just so they know but I would refrain from referring to 'half or step' if I could (e.g., if it wasn't necessary to explain the dynamic of the situation).

My BS has a half brother from his dads first marriage which he (or I) have never even met but I would only refer to him as his 'big brother'. I would never call him his half brother.

BS and SS11 call each other brother. In fact, it's funny... BS has a half-brother and 2 step brothers and the 2 step brothers have a little brother from BM's latest marriage so when we got married, BS says he got 4 new brothers and SS11 says he got 2 new brothers (even though he's never even met one and doesn't even belong to his dad or me!)

I have 6 siblings... all of them are my half siblings... 4 from my mom and 2 from my dad. I'm the youngest. I've never once referred to them as my 'half-siblings'. I think if my mom had referred to them as such, it would have prevented the close relationship I have with them. Further, it would have singled us out and made us (or me!) 'different'. That would have really hurt. It's bad enough that I have no 'real' brothers or sisters to share that with.

I would highly encourage you to avoid the terms 'half' or 'step' when referring to those siblings to your own bio-kids. Just call them by their name if you are uncomfortable otherwise. You can't go wrong there.

I think that the differentiation depends on how the kids are raised. If they are raised together then the "half" prefix may not apply. Even if raised apart it may not apply. It depends on the relationship between the kids and between the kid and their respective families.

My wife was raised by her StepDad and is the oldest of four in her family. Her BioDad was killed in a car accident before my MIL even knew she was pregnant with my wife. My MIL and FIL married when my wife was 2mos old. MIL and FIL were childhood friends and FIL dated MIL's sister in HS.

Her StepDad is her "Daddy" and she is his oldest. PERIOD! FIL was the first person to hold my wife after she was born (besides the doc and nurses). There is a picture of him holding her with the cord still attached to my MIL.

She has three sibs, not "half" sibs. there is no differentiation in my wife's family between her and her sibs. Interestingly her Paternal grandparents consider her three younger sibs to be their grandkids and her cousins on her BioDad's side all consider my MIL/FIL, BILs and SIL to be their family.

I suppose that is the way it should work if your BioDad is killed in a car wreck before you are born.

I think the same applies for my son. I have been his "Dad(dy)" since he was 1yo. He IS an only child in our home, except for 7wks per year he was raised as an only child, and he primarily refers to himself as an only child. He has three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs by the SpermIdiot that he does call his "sister & brothers" but only when he is specifically discussing them. He has two worlds. One where is in an only child and one where he is the oldest of four but where there is a significant differentiation between my SS and his half sibs.

My parents consider my SS to be their oldest grandchild and my brother, SIL consider him their nephew and my niece and nephews consider my SS to be their cousin. There is no differentiation due to SS's lack of Rags' genes.

The SpermClan all treat SS as a mutant in their family. He is ridiculed for being "rich" while his half sibs are "poor". He is harassed for his name brand clothing, nice things, boarding school education, nice vacations, etc, etc, etc...... He is hammered regularly because of the CS that is paid that "he does not need". SpermGrandPa absolutely detests my SS and is open about it. Interestingly SpermGrandPa has no problem with the three SpermIdiot spawn that were abandoned on his doorstep for he and SpermGrandMa to raise with no financial input from the SpermIdiot. SpermGrandPa's issue with SS is that he has paid the CS obligation for SS for the SpermIdiot from day one. He is too F-in stupid to realize that he has invested 10X more in raising the younger three than the CS paid for my SS.

As others have mentioned, we refer to everyone in the SpermClan by their first name when we are discussing them with SS. Never do we refer to "your sister", "your brothers", "your grandfather", "your grandmother", etc...... With the exception of the SpermIdiots sister who detests the worthless piece of shit as much as my wife and I do. She we refer to as "your Aunt (name)" when we discuss her with SS.

But, you can't fix or reason with stupid. Not even when there is a whole clan of them together. When they are all together it is a mass migration of stupid.

In SS's case he has no brothers and sisters, he has half sibs. He may not agree with that statement but I believe it to be accurate.

I think if you teach a child that their sibling is their "half" sibling, you only subconciously create the scenario that the sibling bond is somehow less because of that fact. IMVHO, all siblings are the same.

A half-brother is just as much a brother as a full-brother (other than genetically, obviously). Now, if the children don't know each other at all, I think it's a different scenario.

My children are "half" siblings and really I can't imagine deliniating between them in that way. They are as close as they would be if the shared both parents. I've never heard them reference or refer to each other as half anything or even ask about it.

But, I'm not overly into titles and making sure people know who's what is what anyway. I think family is family. If people say "your daughters are beautiful" (talking about SD too) I say, "thank you," or if people say something about SD being my daughter, I don't rush and say, "Oh, I'm just her SM." I never understood that need, but different strokes for different folks, I guess.

We are his, mine, and ours. So I have two that are full siblings, my youngest is a half to my oldest two and a half to ss-my oldest two are steps to my ss. I've never really differentiated-sometimes people would get confused when ss lived with us because the oldest 3 are all close in age-they are 13, 12, and 11 right now. So when people would ask I would say that he is a "step" but other than that I never differentiated. Now, from a young age ss would come back from visits with bm and say that his 1/2 sister at bm's was his real sister and that everyone at our house were just "step" sibs. Sometimes, I replied with, "so?"-which typically shut him up and other times I reminded him that he had a 1/2 sib here as well as his stepsibs. In that case, I definitely think bm and in turn ss was trying to set himself apart from the kids in this house. Unfortunately, a theme he carried out over the years and now there is little to no relationship between my kids and ss (even though he lived with us ft for 8 years). I know that there are many that want to differentiate but trust me it's not the way to go. SS, in setting himself apart, has really made things miserable for himself and the rest of us. When he is here he tends to be unpleasant to everyone and I know that deep down inside he probably feels left out-of course he really did and continues to place himself there but noone is really happy with this. It's like some strange and not very well liked visitor comes and stays with us eow and spends half the holidays with us. It's awkward for everyone that he does not view himself as part of our family and in turn we have reciprocated by not treating him that way.

I kind of feelthe same way as the OP, although I've never told dh. My kids are still young and don' really even understand that their mommy is a 'step'mom and such so i don't want to introduce 'half' brother into the mix. They'd think he was a half of a person or something! When I refer to ss I call him by his name and I don't really call them their brother. I have harsh feelings though because of the way ss treats my son. I don't feel he has acted as a 'real' brother to my kids compared to how my kids are with each other and doesn't deserve the brother title. (yeah, yeah, I'm horrible...) Ss does call the kids his brother and sisters not half-sibs (he also has a half sis from bm). I HAVE heard people introduce their half sibs as 'half'. Dh has two half-sibs and refers to them as brother and sister, BUT he does treat them differently than his full-sibs. And that is strange because dh wants our kids to treat ss as they do each other yet he obviously treats his half-sibs differently. Anyway, as my kids get older I'll explain it to them because they will ask questions and let them decide on their own. Also, ss doesn't live with us and I think that makes a difference, too. If the skid is living with their half-sibs then I can see why it wouldn't matter.