OSS agreed to meet Dh
Dh has been wanting to speak to OSS in order to clear up the air. He texted OSS again and he responded with
"I should have let mom beat you. I was 12 years old and was rushing to your aid and you just tossed me out like common trash"
After what appears to be a very prolonged and heartwenching back and forth, OSS agreed to meet with dh. This is the first time they're going to be speaking in 6 years.
Dh wants to explain to OSS that had he got news that OSS was depressed and was hospitalized for his attempt of suicide 3 years ago, he would have rushed to his side immediately. And if dh had known that OSS had to witness bm and her boyfriend get into physical altercations, he would have brought him back without any hesitation.
Despite everything he's been through, OSS has done well for himself. He's a college graduate, now a microbiology master's student, in a commited relationship.
YSS has made it clear to dh that if he wants to have a relationship with him, he first has to make thinhs right with OSS. In-laws have also stated that this falls on dh and he should be the one to fix it.
Everything depends on OSS. Dh has been looking forward to seeing him again. He's missed him a lot. I know both OSS and YSS hate my guts but I'm just trying to be supportive for the possible reconciliation between dh and his sons.
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I'm glad he's getting to see
I'm glad he's getting to see his son - but I hope he won't grovel or apologize for things he hasn't done, or let his kids manipulate him out of money, etc. He should own whatever he has done wrong, but these now adult sons need to own their part in it too. Your DH didn't "throw him out like garbage", he made a decision based on OSS's poor behavior. OSS doesn't get to play the victim and punish DH forever.
Thats pretty much
All you can do at this point. Step aside, and watch things as they unfold. I went back and re-read some of your postings. How your DH wasnt speaking to you. I suppose things have calmed down a bit. Thats positive that OSS is willing to give things a try, but what is the agenda?
The other night, after a fatal local accident Toxic Feral Eldest SD19 texted DH to ask if he was ok, because that was on the route he typically takes to get home. He texted back "yes, and thanks for asking after me". And then, back to nothing. No contact etc.
Shes ghosted us for over 1 1/2 years, and would sometimes respond. Did not take DH up on any offers for lunch or dinner. Finally, just recently, she texted him what a horrible father he is/was, and how he was never there for her. Chose me over her. That kind of thing. And then has the nerve to say that Munchkin SD12 doesnt even like me that much. I was ready to move out! And then DH, and Munchkin talked me out of it, they BOTH asked me to stay. So I did.
I hope that OSS is smart enough to realize the truth of things. Toxic Feral is not/did not. Now that I know the truth (she hid all those opinions of me, I did her taxes last April and got her back a nice chunk of money) and after her toxicity to others, I cannot care about her anymore.
Keep is posted on the results!