what do I do???
I'm so tired....My ss12 is ruining our lives and I don't know how much more I can take. He was recently released for a behavioral hospital, he's bi-polar with ADHD, and I really thought things were gonna be better but after a month of stress free life it seems twice as bad. For the past 3 days he has gotten up and woke up everyone by beating on the walls,screaming and being in their rooms going through their things. The other kids all get mad at him because he woke them and then it's on because they all are just trying to get him into trouble and everyone hates him. He calls us all every curse word he can think of. If anyone of MY 3 children spoke to me or their father the way he does I would smack their mouths but with him I am afraid! He tries to hit me,throw things at me,and kick me. Not only that but his bm has always got dcfs in my home with some story or another and he wants to go live with her so he says what ever she tells him too.The allegations are always unfounded, it's gotten so when I see dcfs workers around town we can have pleasant conversation because they've been around so much. My husband doesn't want to let ss12 live with his BM because she herself is mentally unstable and he doesn't want to send him to a residential care or subject an innocent foster family to his behavior....I agree his Bm is unstable and that's not the best place for him but....what are we supposed to do? I feel that it makes me a bad parent for subjecting our kids to his behaviors. My sd11 and our 2 daughters are constantly called w*ores and B*itches.He tries to hit them and hurt them. I have delt with this for 10 years as it has progressively gotten worse. I Know what I feel I should do but I Love my husband and the kids love their dad. Is it right for me to take our 3 children away from this until he realizes ss12 needs more help than we can give him? That it's not safe for anyone to have him in our home? I feel like a horrible person to ask him to let his child go but I don't know if I can do it anymore. I asked ss12 why he's acting this way this morning and he said I want you to hit me so dcfs will take us and I can go live with my mom...... what do I do??
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Comments
I'd send this kid to him mom
I'd send this kid to him mom regardless of how she is, he's obviously going to escalate his behavior until he hurts someone or causes expensive damage. If you husband can't get him under control he needs to go or you need to take YOUR kids out of this because he's creating a toxic environment for them, Think more about your kids than you skid
You need to get your kids out
You need to get your kids out of this home, if you cannot find a place for SS. I work with special education children with all sorts of issues, and I can picture what you are dealing with. Does he go to a public school? How does he act there? There may be a way to get him into some kind of residential program or other facility (your DH needs to realize this may be the only option now). That will depend on a lot of factors, and can take some time. Your other kids' mental and emotional health need to be your focus now. I also do not know if you can legally take your SD, but maybe if your DH agrees, you can do so. Your SS needs a great deal of help, and your DH needs to realize the effects his son will have on the other children. I am also concerned about your health. This cannot go on forever. This is a safety issue, and I am worried for all of you. While I do agree that your SS should not go back with his mom, I do NOT agree with keeping him in your home.
Our home school district sent
Our home school district sent him to a special behavioral school 30 miles from our home. They often have trouble handling him when he get out of control and angry also. The most often advice given is an Individualized care grant which would help pay for residental care or therapies in the community. The only other option we've been given in a no fault dependancy case with dcfs.My husband flip flops alot about what we should do one day he's for residental care the next day he's changed his mind. It's very frustrating! I understand his reluctance but I just feel that were all being terrorized by this child.