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OT----In love, or just love????

StepOnMe101's picture

Submitted by StepOnMe101 on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:09pm

How do you know if you are still "in love" or just "love" your husband? Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. Obviously I know its normal for passion to die down after years of being with someone........but I find myself not even leaning over for a kiss or every saying goodnight to my husband before turning over to go to sleep some nights. I don't get a "loving" feeling when we have sex ---I wont even call it "making love"--because it feels icky to me to even say that but I dont think that is anything new...Ive never liked that term. ?? Is it just ME, or am I not in love with this man anymore??????????? I often feel disrespected by him and although he says he doesn't purposely do it, he says its "just how he is", Im sure that has something to do with it. I swear he is undiagnosed OCD and when something is out of place he gets crazy over it and spouts off at the mouth. This also bothers me.........I know this is a bunch of rambling but I am just not so sure anymore.......................His daughter is also getting harder to deal with the older she gets. She and her BITCH no good mother dont help the situation one bit....thoughts anyone????

Comments

the_stepmonster's picture

Submitted by the_stepmonster on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:24pm

It seems to me that if you are questioning it, you are probably of the latter. I feel like I am still madly in love with my husband, to the point where I feel giddy whenever I see a text or call from him pop up on my phone. We have been together over 5 years at this point. I do get completely frustrated when his children are with us though and think to myself "what did I get myself into?" But when it's just the two of us, I am back to the school girl. How often do you have his daughter? Maybe you just need a date night or weekend away to reconnect?

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 5:55pm

i don't think i'm in love with fdh anymore. i definitely love him, but the connection is pretty weak. i think it's salvageable, though. we never get any time alone together. he works non stop, never gets a day off. he works 3rd shift. we have a very demanding 3 year old, and that has taken from our alone time, too. it's hard to stay "in" love when you never have a chance to nurture the relationship. i'm not ready to throw in the towel, because i really think we can get what we used to have back again, it's just gonna take time.

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 6:44pm

Honestly, I'm not even sure I know what love is any more. Or, probably more accurately, I question whether I'm even capable of it at this point in my life. Three divorces have wrung this heart pretty darn dry.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 02/16/2012 - 6:55pm

Well... I guess I knew I was no longer "in love" with my ex, when I could picture myself NOT being with him forever, and I was at peace with it. The thought of not being with my DH now devastes me.

dodgegal05's picture

Submitted by dodgegal05 on Fri, 02/17/2012 - 1:12am

When you cant imagine a future with your partner, if you dont care if you talk to him in any form (text, email, call, in-person), Wheh you feel more connected to your pillow than the partner, and if you feel like your needs arent being met. If you tell your partner about your issues and they dont try to meet them its not a great sign.