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bad dad good dad

summersuxx's picture

Got dragged on another forum(not here) for talking about how DH admitted to me that his relationship with our child and his relationship with my SD are so vastly different. Things with us are of course, uncomplicated, not dysfunctional and despite our arguments we still work things out and have a pretty strong marriage. DH was so involved with our baby from the start and I never pushed him away or made him feel like an incompetent father. BM on the other hand uses DH as an atm, doesn't support the relationship with my SD and DH because she's bitter, is always filing something in the courts when she's not getting her way, and is just an all around toxic c*nt. 
 

but anyway I talked in this other SP-related forum about how i felt weird that DH does so well with my kid and ours baby, but when it comes to SD he just goes with the flow. He can go some weeks without seeing her and it doesn't faze him much but with our baby he misses her. Of course he still misses SD just not to the same degree i guess. At least that's what he tells me. And oh my lord if they didn't try to rip DH a new one on that forum... saying he's a bad father because he "abandoned" his children to go work out of town, and how can he just give up and not fight for his daughter?! (despite the fact that he never missed a visitation for two years, until he had no choice but to leave town for work, to which BM promptly filed to amend custody even though DH communicated with her that the job would be temporary). 

 

My husband is nowhere near a bad father. Is he perfect? no not at all, but he tries and every day he is here with me trying to do what's right for our kids. Why should fathers even have to fight anyway? He spent thousands on a lawyer just to get a basic visitation schedule, (didn't fight for 50/50 even though he very well could have, but he respected that SD was very comfortable and attached to her mother), pays child support regularly, drives 9+ hours by himself out of state so that he can make money to support us. Why should a dad like that have to fight? It's crazy that active involved fathers catch hell for wanting to be in their kids lives. And evil spiteful BMs always have the upper hand on them.