So BM has no life. I had to attend mediation with her last week to fill out the yearly calendar because FH forgot and had to work. I was okay to do that for him since BM seems to interact with me a little better than with FH lately, and I know the calendar better than he does and she wouldn't be able to pull a fast one on me.

Anyways, last year was the first time we had FSD9 for 2 weeks in the summer. We chose to do one week in June and one in August. We did this for FSD who has never been with us for that long before, and that way it gave her something to look forward to. BM thanked me for splitting it up like that. I told her no problem. I think it worked out nice for everyone that way. Then she said, "yeah cuz I can't be away from her for two weeks in a row. That would be too hard." To which the mediator said, "well, youre an adult." meaning, you can handle it. BM said "yeah, i guess i just have to keep myself busy and maybe get a social life." You think??

My second gripe is the other night FSD and I were talking about possible Christmas gifts for BM. (yeah, im that nice) and FSD was telling me about a stuffed animal that she recorded her voice saying "i love you" and gave it to BM one year. She told me that BM told her she had to play her voice over and over when she was with us for a week during the summer because she missed her so much. I told FSD that is sad and that her mom should spend time with friends and things like that when FSD is with us. She said "my mom doesn't really do that. she goes to bed early." I said "well on the weekends or whatever she can do fun things with friends and enjoy herself." she said "my mom doesn't do that. she cleans and goes to the store on the weekends."

it was no use. BM really doesn't have a life outside of her daughter. She lives and breathes for her and that is it. She thinks its such a bad thing that FSD has to come to our house every once in a while because SHE can't handle it. Its all about HER, not FSD. She wants to know how SHE is going to be affected by everything, not how FSD will be affected. When she picks up FSD she doesn't greet her with a smile and a bright "hey there!" like we do, she doesn't say a word at all. shes just concerned with what hairstyle I have done with FSD's annoyingly long hair, and is she leaving a sweatshirt or anything behind, god forbid. FSD suffers from social anxiety and I just know it is from FSD's influence because she is so unsocial herself! She isn't showing FSD what a normal adult life is like. WE show her, but we only get her every other weekend and extended summer and holidays. we take her to our friends houses who have other kids. we all go to dinner, the zoo, the beach, fun things. But all our hard work to get her over her anxiety just gets wiped away when she goes back to her moms house. it is so frustrating. BM is not normal. and it is rubbing off on her daughter.