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Response to BOO BOO, but LONG so I put it in my Blog

theoutsider's picture

My boyfriend is wanting to teach the kids not to take everything seriously,... But that doesn't mean they are bullys and doesn't mean that they don't have a good moral compass.

A few more examples:

My boyfriend's last name is "Blank DORF"
His boy at school had a bully one day in lunch in front of everyone call him "Blank DORK" and say "haha you're a DORK!"
His boy was not even phased! He turned around and said to the kid, "Oh come on, kids used THAT name when my dad was in school 30 years ago! If you want to put me down BE ORIGINAL." --Teachers told us this story.

And the boy also understands when it is too far.
At school there is a kid with muscular dystrophy who also has thick glasses. A kid at school was making fun of him calling him 4 eyes. Again my boyfriend's boy stood up to him and said, "People are going to start calling YOU "BLACK EYES" if you don't leave him alone!" --AGAIN teachers told us this--Very proudly I might add.

And we joke with people we love, sarcasm, teasing, we do it because we dont take things too seriously.

And my boyfriend is a construction worker 40 hours a week, then spends his evenings working on his father's farm, so He is VERY physical ALL day long.
I work at a desk, and when I get home I do all the bill paying and such.
So one Friday after paying bills, I go meet him at a bar in town. He is sitting at a table with some friends, when I come up he starts to get up to give me his chair then sits back down and says, "Well before I get up and give you my chair, which one of us has been sitting on their ass all day?"
Everyone laughed, and he got up and gave me his chair. And I said back, "Oh no please, take the chair, no need to start being chivalrous NOW after a 4 year long relationship, if you are going to start let it be a special occasion like my birthday, if you remember it this year." And he sat back down. And everyone laughed.

Or at work my boyfriend will have to work outside and he will be working with men(his friends) complaining about how cold it is and he will turn to them and say, "The heat is in the tools, you are cold because you've barely touched them all day."

And my boyfriend's grandparents have a picture of his grandfather kissing his grandmother sitting on a donkey when they were on vacation hanging in their livingroom with a handwritten caption my his grandfather saying, "Alice wanted a picture to remember the only time I've ever kissed her on the ass!"

This stuff is funny people, we joke with people we love!
Who cares what the world thinks of it, as long as the two involved are fine with it.

The line is ONLY crossed when someone is purposely trying to be mean. Or they say those things to someone they are not close with.
Otherwise if you are doing it to someone you love or are close friends with-there should never be a misunderstanding.

Comments

theoutsider's picture

My whole point is they DONT have problems at school. They don't walk around saying this stuff to everyone. And they defend others who are being bullied.
We joke as a family, with those we know, have a relationship with, and love.

Maybe it has something to do with self esteem, my boyfriend's kids only have self esteem issues with their mom. In the rest of the world-nothing can touch them.

I never had problems with self esteem growing up and neither did my boyfriend. We are both confident people and it would take a direct malicious attack to get us down. Otherwise it is all piddly crap.

Like when the kids say that BM tells them I'm a fat bitch,... I smile and say to them, "I'm not that and it doesn't hurt my feelings, but I'm sorry you have to hear her say that about me.."
And I say to my boyfriend later without the kids around, "You know I feel sorry for her that she is grasping at straws. That's really the only thing she has got on me is that She is a beam pole and I've got meat on my bones. I am younger, better looking, bigger boobs, nicer hair, higher educated, better health, more confident, traveled the world, better job, higher paid, and to top it all off I've got a man that used to be hers who just built a huge house that I'm living in with her kids... I really feel sorry for her that she has to say that to the kids to make herself feel better."

theoutsider's picture

Actually I was saying "Bean pole" to be nice. BM is literally dieing of Diabetes Type 1 and losing organs, she could not gain weight to save her life,...literally...

And I don't always compare myself to her, that comparison was a realization of how desperate BM is and how frustrated she is at losing everything she had, because of the decisions she made.

theoutsider's picture

Uh hello,... I did not say this in front of the kids, I said this to my boyfriend in private-which I wrote in the original.
And I did not "call her a bean pole" I used that a a descriptive adjective to her physical appearance for the sake of those reading my blog to understand HOW thin she is- that there is nothing to her.

Disneyfan's picture

Sorry, but the having a man that used to be hers made me laugh.

Why in the world are you proud of having a man that won't marry you???? Why do you care about living in HIS big house when he has a million and one excuses for not taking the final leap?

The fact that you are staying with a man that you have to beg to marry you, speaks volumes about your self-esteem. The jokes aren't working.

theoutsider's picture

Actually the grandparent thing is a PUN, not sarcasm.

And what my boyfriend and I do is called REPARTEE

But if you would like to read about sarcasm being the lowest form of wit which requires the highest functions of the brain, you can do so in the May issue of the journal of Neuropsychology.

[Link removed by request of linked site owner - Admin]

Onefootout's picture

If my SO did that chair thing to me, especially in front of people, he would get a lot more than the sarcastic response you gave to your BF.

Your sarcastic response to your BF's comment was actually more appropriate. It was a figurative slap in the face for him being so mean. I realize you don't think he was being mean, but that's just how I would take his remark.

If I had witnessed it I would have thought, here is an incredibly bitter couple, why are they still together. That doesn't mean you are actually a bitter couple, you two obviously have an understanding, but that's the impression I would get.

I use sarcasm as a substitute for flying into a rage and breaking plates in response to my SS treating me like shit, and my SO allowing it. It is in no way intended to be funny or good natured. It's simply how I survive and I would only use it in response to someone being a real asshole. Never as a way to be funny or witty. I think my tag line says it all. There's nothing really healthy about sarcasm, but it's slightly better than the alternative.

And even when I have used it, I'm not exactly proud of it. I got called out on it in one of my previous blogs.

But on the other hand, you are no criminal, you are human. As am I. None of us are perfect. I wouldn't worry about all this so much. Everyone has their own opinions.

Onefootout's picture

Okay, I obviously lost track. I think some if the reactions on here are to the previous blog because I really don't see what the big deal is with what outsider has said. I don't really think outsider has committed any major crimes at all.

theoutsider's picture

Obviously if someone is ATTACKING someone else, it is NOT the friendly banter I am talking about.

theoutsider's picture

I labeled this "Response to BOO BOO, but LONG so I put it in my Blog" because I realized it was an entirely different topic and would have lead her post on a tangent. And just because I "replied" to her post does not mean I agree with what she said,... just saying,...

theoutsider's picture

Ok, you keep your conversation going over there, we will talk about what I was talking about over here.

somedevilishbeauty's picture

Oh Please ladies....get off your high horses. There is nothing wrong with what her kids or families have said or done. Can you honestly tell me that you have never said anything jokingly or the least bit sarcastic? cause i highly doubt that. as for the "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Using it shows ignorance and a lack of class and no tact." that is total BS. how many of us ladies use saracasim in our everyday life just to get by with what we have to deal with? are you calling all us ladies ignorant and unclassy? Why cant you ladies ever give helpful advice or nice comments instead of tearing down members on this site? We are all here for the same reason, it really sucks when you post someting just for someone to chime in with there "my shit doesnt sting comments and these poor children comments"

B22S22's picture

The difference, as I see it, between the Boo boo post and this original post is this:

The examples given (except the BM sitch) were adult to adult or child to child jabs.

I like to be witty and sarcastic sometimes too --- but I would never dream of telling a kid (mine or anyone else's) something that could be hurtful in the name of "jest". Adults may be able to understand the witticism a little better (some, not all) and not take it as an insult but many kids could actually take it to heart. In the Boo Boo post, it may not have been the 3 year old, but the older kids.