Chef Is Now A Relationship Expert!

To women customers mostly. The next door neighbor to our rental wanted her furnace cleaned. Apparently she started complaining about her BF. She is my age and her stbx BF is older still. She is one of the original feminists and likes to travel. Her BF is the complete opposite.

Chef of course makes himself out to be the ultimate male partner...understanding, empathetic, etc. Problem is nothing could be further from the truth. I defy any woman to stay with Chef for more than five minutes after he shows his true colors! He can be very mysogynistic at times and he was raised old fashioned by elderly parents despite being only 55 yrs old. Plus the boozing, the bull in the china shop, the never taking care of anything or putting anything back. Always buying stuff he lost and ends up with six of everything. He is totally bitter about his divorce from his failed first family and promised he would no longer be "Mr. Nice Guy" to any woman bc "look where that got him."

The self portrayal of himself as a prize and God's gift to women and the casting of aspersions on all other men is quite laughable!

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I don't think SO gives advice

I don't think SO gives advice much to other women BUT he is the PERFECT guy from the outside and everyone that knows him will tell you that.

YEAH EVERYONE!! Live with all of them and tell me again!! Haha

Same with my DH (and they are

Same with my DH (and they are about the same age so go figure). A friend to every marginalized group in the country, then turns into Mr. Misogynist with me.

Unfortunately for him, I have my mother's strong, German, take-so-sh@t bloodline and it hasn't worked out well for him. His mother, on the other hand, was the perfect, submissive wife. It was quite a shock to him when I read him the riot act about men being perfectly capable of microwaving their own leftovers and making their own sandwiches.

I hope you told Chef he has no business getting involved in other womens' personal lives.

I just roll my eyes

Hoping they don't get stick permanently. TBH this same woman has complained to me about her BF. I just tell her that all men function the same way.

Ok, this applies to Chef but

Ok, this applies to Chef but also all the rest of the DHs, DWs, fiance's, and SOs. I wish i could conduct a research project to determine the relative physical attractiveness of the SOs on this site vs the general population. My hypothesis is that they are more attractive than the general population by several standard deviations. It would explain why we put up with not just the exes and skids and CS, but also the general cluelessness, douchiness, and goofiness (goofyness?) of these people. If that hypothesis fails, my next one is that they score higher on the first impression/smooth talker scale than the gen pop. If it seems like i'm being judgy, i am also including myself in this group (of the people who put up with it, not the smooth talker/attractive group lol.)

It's been a long day.

I put up with my DH (and all

I put up with my DH (and all his baggage) because overall he's a good guy. Not the best father, but he treats me well. He's a good businessman. We are on the same wavelength about most things and when I have to smack him down (for example with his misogyny), he backs off. I'm attracted to him, we laugh and complain about the same things. He works hard. I think he's handsome and overall I do have a lot of respect for him even though I bicker and I grump about him on here a lot. (He grumps about me too).

We have one of those relationships where we can grouch at each other all day long but still love each other. We are kinda like Marie and Frank from Everybody Loves Raymond.

Mine is balding, obese,

Mine is balding, obese, middle aged and not my physical type at all.

Maybe that's why he's such a d*ck.

I am the more attractive partner and have more options to attract high quality partners which is why I'm planning to leave

He was kind, open minded, saw from my perspective, and generous with what he had .... in the beginning

Once his exwife returned in town, pretended she couldn't single parent to save her live, purposefully acted mean to her own kids and tried to force them into this house and used them as pawns to break up this relationship, I saw that he was more concerned with unresolved issues from that failed relationship and not ready for a relationship with me.

This made him even more physically unattractive

Chef has been considered attractive

In the past when he was in "Army shape." He has puppy dog eyes and long eyelashes. Used to have curly blonde hair before balding. Has perfectly straight teeth. But he does have a tenor voice and I prefer baratones.

His main feature is his tremendous contractor skills

Contractor skills are hard to

Contractor skills are hard to find. Only guys i know who can build and fix things are over age 75.

My TV Love Muffin

I fell in love with Norm on the PBS series This Old House. He has all my fave things: can fix anything, is nice, is rich. Lol.

SO and his brothers ages 46

SO and his brothers ages 46-57 are all very handy and do basically everything... additions on their houses, one does cabinets on the side..bathrooms etc. SO has the upper hand on all of them with being electrician by trade.. His side gig now amongst other things. And he does all the work on my extra car. Haha. He is useful.

Oh part of the reason I'm

Oh part of the reason I'm with my S.O. is that he can fix anything and do plumbing and electrical work...plus do maintenance and repairs on my car!

Or, you could be like grannyd

Or, you could be like grannyd and keep throwin' 'em back until you land the right one! Three times lucky!

Um are we with the same dude?

Um are we with the same dude? Lol

Just kidding.

Sort of.

This dude right here is THE exact same way. He holds A LOT of misogynistic views (ex sex is expected in a relationship, providing is a quid pro quo and not something he wants to naturally do, very hypocritical, rarely accepts responsibility for his mistakes, and more), the only time he cares to take care of this house is if I f*ck him or hassle the h3ll out of him, and is still mentally scarred from his divorce (same as yours thinking "my ex was so 'mean', I provided/paid all the bills, and still didn't get appreciated") which makes him act like a disgruntled incel who won't be taken advantage of every again and At the same time prevents him from having boundaries with his exwife/kids because he feels guilty about the divorce even though he claims she was mean and horrid allegedly.

I've heard this dude giving relationship advice to his female cousins and thought to myself "what a joke!" because this he's not living what he's preaching to them.

I also wanted to barf when his sister in laws mother was having a hard time understanding why I wasn't marrying this dude. And how these people would probably see me as the cause of this relationship downfall.

All I could think from there was if they lived with this mf and his kids they would better understand If he's such a "good dude" then YOU take him and prove it.

Alrighty....2 things

In answer to your question Rumple..DH is a very attractive and can be a very smooth talker. In fact he uses his smooth talking for his career..so there is that.

Most women are dazzled till he starts to show is real self..the selfish, arrogant, egotisical somewhat lazy self. Then he is less attractive.

The congnative dissidence in these men astounds me at times. They perceive themselves as "good men", partners and all around great guys. Then they start their shiznit.....then we see they are NOT the great guy they think they are.

My DH loves to be supportive of people from work, people he meets through work, etc. He is a great guy that will listen to you and help you out......JUST NOT HIS WIFE. He is better now...since he was staring down the barrel of another divorce. Oh and he is oh so truthful and hates liars. MMMM..imagine the cat butt face I get when I hear him say that...LIKE DUDE YOU LITERALLY LIED TO ME, TO YOUSELF, YOUR KIDS AND ALL THOSE OTHER WOMEN FOR YEARS...YEARS DUDE. YOU ARE A LIAR...AND A BIG ONE. I just shake my head when I hear him say that..

Dh also likes to think he supports the feminist movement and is a great partner for me...all the while expecting me to handle all things domestic related..cleaning, shopping, cooking, planning, kid rearing, everything. All the while working 45+ hours a week...while he sat in the chair and "relaxed" from his busy week. He is 100 times better with all that now since we went ot counseling. He is now a partner and doesn't just sit and watch me run around like a chicken with my head cutoff trying to get everything done. Counseling once again has helped show him...I don't want another kid and I'm certainly not going to want to have sex with someone I have to treat like my 5th child.

The guy in his mind does not match the guy that he is. Cognative Dissidence is strong with these men.

I'm with you on the cognitive

I'm with you on the cognitive dissonance. My current partner has a "reality" that isn't always real. The majority of the time he is a wonderful person and partner, but his thoughts and actions don't always line up well.

"Cognitive dissonance is a mental conflict that occurs when your beliefs don't line up with your actions. It's an uncomfortable state of mind when someone has contradictory values, attitudes, or perspectives about the same thing."

Does she know Chef

Comes with baggage. That she will be supporting Chef,, The SK maybe the ex,,ex. There isc nothing more manely then a man with kids

I doubt she has any interest

In Chef especially after I've told her a few of my experiences with stepHELL. She actually is a SM as well from her ex-husband.

some people are like rancid M

some people are like rancid M&Ms. The candy coating on the outside is shiny and bright and inviting but once you've popped it into your mouth and committed to it you taste the nasty inner filling.

No matter how long one may spend polishing a turd....

it is still shit.

If it is shit, even shiny shit, flush it. A shit mate, shit Skids, etc.... Down the toilet bowl. If they shitily behaved are (S)Kids, they get to the age of majority with a progressive state of abject misery, then... they are out. If they are well behaved and respectful.... they may be welcome to stay until viable adulthood if their behavior and performance continues to earn a place.

IMHO of course.

Fortunately, even someone who has an outbreak of intestinal backteria overload, can upon occassion be motivated to get over their case of cranio-rectitis.

However, if they ever have a relapse, even one, the flush handle should be activated and they should be moved on down into the sewer pipe to be someone elses turd to polish.

Why do good people tolerate those hell bent on proving that they are not? I have no idea.