Some women can be a military wife and some can't handle it. It will be obvious after the first deployment. Things to watch for: she spends all his money, seeks attention from other men, let's her house fall to shambles, picks up a drug or alcohol habit, stops communicating with him, quits her job...

Healthy wives will focus on a career, hobbies, friends (female ones) and their families. It is depressing to be alone but you have to trust your SO and take care of yourself. 

My husband is in subs, I can't even talk to him for weeks at a time while he is underwater and all we have is spotty email. At Gitmo she can call and Skype with him just about daily. I would love to be able to do such a thing...

Sometimes the 1st deployment isn't the determining factor. My ex-husband contacted me because one of his Sailors was notified his mortgage hadn't been paid in 5 months. Bank account had plenty of $$$ & the Sailor thought everything was okay, after his wife had a rough spending spree, initially. I went over there & it was HORRIBLE. Filthy. The kids were in bad shape. The wife was in worse shape. Ended up leaving her in the mental ward of our military hospital & keeping the kids.

Next deployment? Sailor went to my ex-husband AGAIN because of how much $$$ was adding up in their accounts, figured his wife needed help. Started talking about separating from the Navy. I went over to that house & everything was GREAT. House was immaculate, kids were doing great, wife had lost 130 pounds (by that point) & taken a job at the on-base daycare. She wanted to surprise her husband by buying him a Harley (& wanted to lose the weight for riding with him). 

My marriage didn't last but their's did. They've been married almost 25 years now. 1st deployments are rough but it's about setting goals, having reasonable expectations & keeping up communication. 

It's so much easier now. I'm 4th generation Navy brat, married Navy. Maintaining your own identity & having friends is critical. 

I am sure you are super proud of your boy.

Yes I do have some experience---First -For you MOM...no news is good news in certain circumstances. Try to NOT stay glued to the news. Send lots of care boxes.  Filling them out at the post office is a pain BUT  mail call from home is the best. Christmas cookies, tiny Christmas tree, cards, a stocking filled with 'stuff' from home. His favorite snacks...Post office forms will ask about food..... NOPE your not sending food--- its personal hygiene items cards, books, slippers?

 Depending on his mission...there may be periods you don't hear from him. IF there is a casualty there will be a black out.  Remember no news is good news. The first few weeks will be hard on her...give her some space. But check in to make sure she is ok. Suggest a "Mid Tour' trip for them to take---gives her something to work on for his return.

***The bad stuff is when wives back home spend all extra duty pay---run UP credit cards to the max and Solider returns no nothing in the bank. I cant tell you how many of these stories I know of that really DID happen. It's crazy what some wives do***on top of messing around too...so have that talk with your son to keep chimed in to his pay. OK? ***

I dont think this applies to you BUT your son is protected by the Sailor and Soldiers Act---no one can sue him involve him in legal issues while he is deployed. Make sure his wife attends all pre-deployment briefings. I am sure she is.

No advice, but I wanted to say that you must be so proud of AwesomeSon.  Please thank him for his service.

My DH was in the Army, and deployed to Afghanistan.  Fortunately it was before me, because I would not have made a good military wife.  I hope his wife does well while he's gone.  From what you've mentioned of your son, I suspect he chose well.

I had to weather Nebraska winters on my own as a 18-22 yr old bride. It was tough. I had great neighbors! If they don't live on base and are renting currently I would recommend the move on base. The big thing for her is learn to ask for help. It is sooooo hard to do. There are spouses within the unit that are "Key" spouses that can help get people over to snow blow for her. That can help if she gets a flat tire, that can meet for coffee because it just sucks. 

She will have to build her own family. It is hard but there are amazingly beautiful friendships that last forever to be had!