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De-lurking to share a minor triumph

Tin Can Zen's picture

I have been in the shadows here for years. I cannot share much of my situation as it pushes me to such deep despair. I may or may not change that. I try hard to be careful and wise with what I ruminate on and when I choose to tolerate poor behavior, I acknowledge that as MY choice, and don't complain about the personal cost. I don't know that I can or will leave. This life of mine is a heap of heartache and loneliness.

I am 53. I have been mostly a stay at home mom. It's financially trapped me. I don't have ANY resume. 

Yesterday I had my first shift at front desk job. 10 hours. It was harrowing: the amount of new information buffeting my old lady brain! I was pretty good at what I was doing. The position is in trade for rent. I'm proud of myself. I'm so ridiculously grateful that the owner was in such a bind that she gave me this chance with zero evidence of my ability. Damn, but I needed this chance! I might just make a way for myself outside of the shit show that is my husband's jerky family.

Me: 53f, DH 67, his skidults: 47d, 45d, 43d, 42s, 40d, 37s, my adult kids 35d, 33s, 31d, 27s, 26s, 23s. 15y married. 

 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Congratulations on your job! Hopefully, this will build your confidence and boost your happiness level.

CLove's picture

Congratulations!

Starting from nothing as I have a few different times, I understand how hard and intimidating it can be. I am also in my 50's, but no bios of my own.

If you are a long-time lurker, youve no doubt read my story here and there.

Youve done a great job so far, getting out there and making your way towards independence.

So, give yourself much credit, and post when you feel like it. I find it definitely helps me to write things out. Even journaling. And the advice and feedback and support here has been AMAZING.

JRI's picture

A job is just what you needed! Outstanding!  At several times in my life, going to work has changed my life for the better.  And, it's not just for the money.

I always tell myself, if Jackie Kennedy felt the need to work, that tells you something.  Its more than the money.

AgedOut's picture

baby steps, you've started on your path and can't run so enjoy the new and take your time with those babysteps. 

Rags's picture

Congratulations on the job. That gives you something of your own, gets your brain out of the StepClan shit show for most of the day.

Give rose

Crspyew's picture

Your old lady brain is bringing so much to that job.  As a mom you had to juggle many things and stay on top of all the details & minutiae of life--skills that are required in many jobs.  Having your own thing, a place to go outside of steplife helps to keep that insanity boxed in.Good luck and nice to meet you.

Lillywy00's picture

am 53. I have been mostly a stay at home mom. It's financially trapped me. I don't have ANY resume. 
 

Stay at home moms do have resumes

Thats a lot of organizing, financial planning, leading, mentoring, etc. 

Sprinkle the seeds in your kids that all the sacrifices you made for them hopefully will return in your favor. In some cultures it's expected for the kids to get good incomes so they can give back to their elderly parents. 

Tin Can Zen's picture

Thanks to each of you for the warm welcome. I did another 10 hours today, taking along a notebook to build a walk through of sorts for all the different tasks. It was actually surprising how much concentration it took from me to do my day! So many of the ppl I dealt with were kind and friendly. I found it easy to look them in the eye and speak authoritatively. I perversely LOVED leaving the housework undone and the mister grumpy that I had no schedule for my return and no dinner on deck. I had texts from three of my boys cheering me on and that is such a balm to my soul. 

It is scary to have a fresh wind blowing, yanno? 

 

Rags's picture

Not scary. Thrilling!!!

Have fun!

That you are already building the desk top guide for your new job is absolute proof that you are going to rock this.

Yahoo

DarkElf's picture

Also long time lurker here -> This is my first ever comment/ post (Just set up my account) and just wanted to say: Congrats on the new job! As Rags said - Working can really help to take mind off Step Shit. I myself am choosing to stay at home this bank holiday weekend (based in UK) and chill/ do client work/ work on my business. Rather than go with my partner + SD (12) to his parents house for 3/4 days. Working trumps being around an immature SD/skid for sure. It's bad enough I'll have to deal with her for several days when he comes back and has her for rest of half term. I'm making sure to have my several days of freedom now.