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DD and SD sharing a room

Toastergirl's picture

Does anyone here have their bios share a room with their step? Since SD is not here frequently, it only makes sense our daughter have a room. She has been sleeping in her crib in the corner of our bedroom or in her playpen in the living room. SD will turn 10 soon and DD is 1.
SD is very territorial of her room and gets upset when DD plays with her toys. We are thinking of moving a bunch of SDs toys into the empty dining room and making it the kids playroom. DDs playpen can go into SDs room and she can sleep in there when SD isn't here. Then when SD is here Dd can sleep in the crib in our room. DDs toys and clothes can go into SDs room.

Thoughts? Dd needs her own space. SD is only here every other weekend and one weeknight after the weekend we don't have her. That will never change. In order to heal, I need to accept that. And distraction is a great way to do that.

Comments

fakemommy's picture

Can the empty dining room serve as a room for SD so DD doesn't have to go back and forth? I'm not sure what kind of privacy the dining room provides, but in some cases, it might work.

Willow2010's picture

Can you just make the empty dining room your DDs room instead of a play room? Or even SD's room?

Sports Fan's picture

BS17 and SS15 share a room but it is the entire upstairs of our house so it is quite large. They also have their own bathroom up there. SS is only there 4 days a month and BS is usually gone 2 of those to his dad's so they are only there together 2 days a month. They actually get along well and probably wouldn't mind if they spent more time together.

Toastergirl's picture

In regard to SD staying in the dining room- It would look somewhat odd to have a bed in the dining room and I want DD to have a bedroom since she is the child that predominantly lives here.

I just know SD will not respond to this well.

LuckyGirl's picture

Agree with the choking hazards. At that age a baby will put anything and everything into his/her mouth, and you can't expect a 10-year-old to always be aware of this.

I would not have two children of such different ages sharing, better that the baby stays with you, in her own crib but in your room. At least for a while.

moeilijk's picture

I don't know the layout of your home, but I'd think that you're trying to meet these priorities:

1. Definite bedtimes for both girls where they are able to sleep and not disrupt you guys or be disrupted by you guys.
2. Play area for both girls, but each has very different needs/risks.
3. You're ready to not have a baby in your room anymore (OMG how have you lasted this long!)
4. You can't give both girls their own room, so a change is coming. How to soften the blow.

If the dining room can be shut off from the rest of the home, then I'd make that SD's room. Change the light fixture and you're half-way there. If it's a walking-through kind of space, or open to other areas of the house then that won't work.

What about having the bedroom be ONLY for sleeping or ONLY for sleeping and SD's studying (so, no toys/fun in there?) Then baby can go to bed in there at 7 or whatever, and with a nightlight on, SD can find her way quietly to bed at 8. Bedtime routine of storytime can be done in new playroom. And actually, having the dining room open to the rest of the house and using that for the playroom is great, because then you can do other stuff while the baby plays.

You could also then allow SD to play with certain toys in her room when friends are over, for example, and just have her clean up before baby goes to bed.

BD is 1, right? So another year before she's out of the crib? By that time she's mostly likely not stuffing everything in her mouth anymore - my DD22 months stopped that a month or so ago, and it had been tailing off for the six months before that.

Toastergirl's picture

This is a very good idea- the bedroom can be for ONLY sleeping or studying and when SD is here with a friend over she can take certain toys in the room. Then put things back in the playroom Smile thank you

Toastergirl's picture

Thank you. I feel guilty for doing this. It has been SDs room practically her entire life. But I need to face reality- my daughter lives here, this is her only home. We are ready for her to not sleep in our bedroom. It make sense to use the empty SD bedroom.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Don't know about your skid but if I ever had a baby of my own I would not trust MY sd alone with her for one second, let alone all night.

moeilijk's picture

Hopefully OP's SD is less vicious than yours! But if this is a concern, OP, why not modify my previous suggestion?

Dining room - playroom
Bedroom - DD's room, but SD can use it to have friends over and play in, negotiated every time (not SD's room, and DD ONLY sleeps in there)
Master Bedroom - SD sleeps on a mattress on the floor that you guys won't trip on when you go to bed. When SD is with you, adult-fun is curtailed :(. Again, SD ONLY sleeps in there, at no other time is she allowed in your room, and since any havoc she causes will be an issue for DH.... hopefully it's something he will address? (Don't know what kind of a parent he is.)

moeilijk's picture

I think it depends on the layout. If the dining room is an open space, then even dividers won't help all that much to block light and sound. And in my home, my time with my husband is mostly in the living room, with lights on, noise in the kitchen, us talking, sometimes tv on. (Well, we also have time in the bedroom, but that's another story :P)

So if SD has to have a temporary space for sleeping only, I'd rather have her in a space where she CAN get good sleep and where she won't be tempted to get up and interrupt or eavesdrop.

moeilijk's picture

Maybe just invest in a spycam for the baby room. You can find them wireless with 360-degree rotation (just make sure you change the password lol!!!)

That way you've got your baby-monitor and SD-live-streaming-nanny-cam all-in-one!

Over here (Netherlands) they cost around 250 euros, my FIL was looking into one because we are all so curious about what my kid does in her room. We don't have a monitor because she's in the room between the living room and our room (apartment living), but we hear everything. One time I checked on her, and she'd gotten out of bed to read in her chair, and then fallen asleep in her chair with her book on her lap. At 1.5 lol!!