Oh good grief. My mom tried this with my BS12 and neice (4). My step mom never tried to take her place but she just wanted to have a relationship with the kids. It was up to my sister and I to put a stop to it. When mom realized that we weren't going to put up with that nonsense she left it alone.

She would tell the kids stuff like don't give SGM any of my sugar or she can't possibly love you like I do. WE MADE HER STOP. Our kids needed all the love they could get. My dad was the only positive male role model in my BS12 life for quite awhile.

My sisters and I were severly PAS. My mom had it set up that my dad could only visit us at her house. We were not allowed to spend the night at my dads house because of that woman! The one time my dad actually tried to excersie his visitation rights she sent us with dirty clothes. I could go on . . .

Now the good part. Children grow up and start to make up their own minds. SS being 25 knows better! I now live 1 house down from my dad (their are only 3 house on the street) and that woman! My sisters live about 5 minutes away and my mom lives about a 1 1/2 hours away. We are so close to my dad now it's kind of crazy. We are all making up for lost time and it's wonderful. Don't get me wrong I love my mom to death and we talk every day and see each other at least once a week. But what she has realized is that no matter what she did she could not stop our relationship with our dad once we got older.

SS25 can stop this!!!!!!

Oh yeah SGM is there too Playing the role of grand ma. I love it. Do you know how many kids don't have grandparents???? I say the more the better!

In my case it was all about my mom. When I look back on my childhood it's a wonder my sisters and I aren't screwed up. She would wake us up at 2 am to make us listen to her rant and rave about my dad leaving her. We were 5,10,15 at the time. Dr. Phil would have had a field day.

I even remember the day she made US pack our dad's stuff and put it all on the front porch. He had moved into a spare bedroom during the maybe we can work it out stage and she got mad one day and made us put our toys away to pack up his stuff. Speaking of toys after that we weren't allowed to play with them again. She put us in the yard, made us paint the house, made us cut the grass . . . all the things that my dad would have been doing and the excuse was that he had left and now we had to pick up the slack because he left us with all of this stuff. My dad paid his child support on time, we always knew where he was and he showed up every Saturday to spend the day with us (at her house of course). My stepmom for the most part stayed in the background. It's nice that I get to have a real relationship with her now.

I don't regret my childhood one bit. It made me and my sisters who we are today. I'm sure my mom was hurt (they were married for 18 years) and I can't imagine what she was going through but she should have never involved us kids. I tell my DH all the time that if anyone knows what SD12 is going through it's us and he should listen to our advice. . .

I know it's hard for SS but he is the only one.

Insane right?!?!?! My X-BIL and X-MIL tried that to my kid. Saying X-SMIL was not her grandma.

See, we live in another country, the g-parents, all 6 of them (my parents, xmil, xfil&xsmil) and xbil all live back elsewhere. So I only took the kids back once a year.

My BD was 5 at the time, I had taken new BD then 0 back to visit. I CAUGHT XBIL and XMIL telling BD5 that she didn't want go to XFIL and XSMILs place - basically coaching her.

I said WTF is going on here ??? XMIL turned all red, but XBIL started running his mouth about how XSMIL wasn't really grandma - I informed him he was WRONG - she was as much GRANDMA as the other two and that I would not hear about it again. He informed me that wasn't my decision. I informed him that he was nothing and as the mother it WAS my decision and he was way out of line and if he wanted to spew garbage he would never see my daughters again - ever. He told me I couldn't do that, I said WANNA BET??? You are nothing, you are hardly even blood, and I am in charge. I told him he better leave or I would leave with my kids and go to XFILs 2 days early thus cutting his precious BMs visit short because HE WAS AN ASSHOLE.

MEH - never liked that big mouth asshole - he had informed me at the wedding that he was going to refuse standing up for XH since I wanted ALL parents at the head table (mine, his and their spouses of 25 years) I told him, good and btw - not your wedding. Yep, i said GOOD. He did stand up for his brother - too bad - I really dislike that loser.