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wifey's picture

Submitted by wifey on Mon, 12/11/2006 - 7:06pm

So I pick up my stepdaughter this weekend for breakfast with Santa and she very quickly tells me that her mom's bf needs to be out of their house by this Friday- SD says that mommy is acting really different than before and given the fact that she is 11- I ask her what she meant by that. She states mommy is different- she doesn't talk much anymore, X-Mas tree isn't up, she doesn't answer the phone, etc. So obviously mom is depressed. Let me remind you this is #2 man that left her for another woman.
So, My question is this- should I attempt to pick up SD as much as I can- so that mom has time to "heal" or do I just let things be the way they are?

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goldenlife's picture

Submitted by goldenlife on Mon, 12/11/2006 - 7:16pm

but I would do it for SD. It seems as if it's really bothering SD as well. It was the first thing she mentioned so it was on her heart.

I feel for SD. Who wants to be around someone depressed at Christmastime, particularly the person who is supposed to be creating the magic for YOU!

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Tue, 12/12/2006 - 5:44am

Janice is right... she trusted you enough to confide in you and that speaks volumes. Definitely cultivate that relationship, it sounds like she's needing a female connection that she's not getting from mom right now. Be there for her, not to try to one-up mom, but to support them both. Also, it kind of sounds like your SD wants to do something to help her mom, but doesn't know what/how. Maybe the two of you could come up with an idea of something she can do to make her mom a little happier, like make her a little I LOVE YOU MOM gift, a cute photo in a MOM frame or something. Nothing expensive or extravagant, but a way for SD to show her Mom that she loves her and is thinking of her.

~ Anne ~

happy's picture

Submitted by happy on Tue, 12/12/2006 - 2:34pm

Her mom obviously has some issues right now.. and she seems to want to talk/be with you so go for it.. It can only make your relationship stronger with her... And its stability and happy times for her..
Congrat's..

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Tue, 12/12/2006 - 4:34pm

Good for you! I'd like to say kudos to you for being so thoughtful and sympathetic. Your SD seems very perceptive and she will probably understand what you're doing, which will even further strengthen the bond that you have. It's so great that she trusts you to confide in you like that!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

wifey's picture

Submitted by wifey on Wed, 12/13/2006 - 7:08pm

I emailed mom and she was very polite and said that I am more than welcome to take her tommorow night. So I am excited- her and I will have dinner together before the show- so this will be nice <3

Nymh's picture

Submitted by Nymh on Wed, 12/13/2006 - 7:28pm

Awesome! I am so happy for you. I spend so much of my time fending off BM's attacks and ridiculous excuses that it really warms my heart to read things like this. Yay! Smile

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

OldTimer's picture

Submitted by OldTimer on Thu, 12/14/2006 - 3:23am

It's good to hear things when things go good... ya know! So often I read post after post of the same situation, and I get sad because I think... man, they are talking about my life. But it's great when you find the posts that give you hope! Awesome!

wifey's picture

Submitted by wifey on Thu, 03/27/2008 - 10:22pm

Hello ladies,
I need some advice here. I have been trying to get along with BM and she just ignores me as if I do not exist. She will not respond to any of my emails and everytime I ask her a question she gives me one word answers. My SD tells me that her mother hates me. I do not know why and so I emailed her and asked her if we could sit down and talk out our differences. Not a response. Why is this woman so evil? How can a woman be this way towards someone that is so good to her daughter? I can not make sense of this? Please- can someone explain her hatred and how to handle someone like her?