O/T Phones
I've seen tons of posts where the stepparent and their spouse cannot take the phone away from the skid because it belongs to BM. Well, today, I saw a meme that had the perfect solution. You take the phone and enter 3 random passwords until the phone locks for 8 hours. YES!!
- Winterglow's blog
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Great solution! I wonder what
Great solution! I wonder what else could work. Shutting off WiFi.. Although most kids have at least a little bit of data. The phone getting "lost" for a day... Hmmm where IS IT?? The charger cable getting "lost". When my son was little his punishment was taking away the video games. We just put away the game controllers.
Or just take the phone, lock
Or just take the phone, lock it up, and return it when the SKid leaves to go back to BM. I do like locking it for 8 hrs just before it is handed back to the SKid. As punctuation on the message that they lost the phone for in the first place.
We didn't take the phone...per se from my 2 kids
The VI bought my two kids each a phone when they were 6 and 8.
We put it on a shelf in the kitchen for "safe keeping" since they were very young. They had access to it and could use it..but never did. We also put it on silent so that the VI's incessant calling didnt stress them out.
The VI attempted to say we took the phones...blah, blah, blah...but we had picutres of where the phones were and could prove the kids had access to them whenever they wanted...problem solved.
funny after a few months of that....the phones no longer came to our house.
Haha that is a great idea
Haha that is a great idea.
SS12 and SD10 were only 8 and 10 when BM bought them a phone and put a sim in. When that happened and they brought them over to ours, DH allowed them screen time that was monitored, and then overnight they had to leave them at a designated charging station. When DH unlocked them and found SS texted a boy from school with foul language (essentially bullying him about his gaming performance) he confronted him and that was when they realised any thing they do on them will be seen and monitored by DH.
SS then changed his passcode but then forgot it and forgot his Apple ID that BM set up. So now he reset his phone, they turned off location settings so DH can never see where they are (they are at BMs, but she used to leave them home alone and they often wondered the streets by themselves) and now refuse to bring them to our house.
Which is fine as I hate the content on their phones and want to protect our little bios from it.
A thought. DH nails BM with a
A thought. DH nails BM with a contempt motion every time she fails to surrender the kids. On visitation days that she wants DH to have them, he refuses.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
That drives accountability on BM and it demonstrates to the SKids that crap behavior has consequences. They live it, and they see BM living when getting her ass bared on court.
NCPs have one notable advantage. sadly it generally is the only advantage that an NCP has. Visitation on the COd schedule, at the NCPs discretion. CPs are paid to perform per the CO except when the NCP chooses to take their COd visitation. There is no requirement that the NCP take their kids either when scheduled or otherwise.
IMHO it is a delicate balance to maximize quality time with their kids and keeping the CP in their place while forcing the CP to provide and care for the child as the CP is paid to by the NCP via CS. The NCP is not the beck and call service to the CP including being the CPs beck and call child care.