I am lost
Hi everyone, Hope your weekend was great! I need your input on a little situation, We had a cookout at our house for the Super bowl and we invited my SD's. Hubby went to pick them up and when they go home they seemed to be fine, happy and all. SD10 came up to me and vented about BM and what had happened this passed weekend. I told her that things would get better and we would finish talking later since we keeped getting Interrupted.
Later on I noticed SD10 talking to my mother-in-law and my hubbys cousin which we get along every well. Well I find out that SD10 was taking bad about me, how I am very strict and I get upset when they do something worng, Not like BM which is verey laid back.she went off and said how she hates it when Im on the phone and say things like... Oh we are having a BBQ at "MY HOUSE". She told them that this was not my house and that her daddy makes the payments not me. She mentioned how she cant stand the fact that my daughter16 spends more time with her daddy then she does. How BM and I are very different in so many way. That we might get a T.V. for my daughter and she would also like $80.00 shoes but that her mom does have any money and that she knows i cant afford them so she know her daddy is buying them for my daughter.
Well they tried to explaining to her how she had to listen to the adults in the house , that the house is mine, and that my daughter is also her daddys daughter and that my daughter also get CS and that I can provide for her, and that she needs to have a heart to heart conversation with me and daddy. All she kept saying was 'You dont know her like I know her".
I feel really bad because I have given my all and I know that those are her mothers words but still they hurt.I have always told my 16yrs not to mention place we have gone to or things we buy her so they wouldnt feel bad or left out. I dont understand. She has had her up's and downs with me becuase BM puts stuff in her head.
How should I handle this one.....I'm already walking on egg shells around them. My daughter doesnt even have $80.00 shoes, UGH!!!!
- wishing upon a star's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think you need to handle
I think you need to handle this head on. You need to start by telling her that if she doesn't want you and your husband talking about the things she does that you don't like behind her back with her grandmother then she should not be doing that to you. Tell her that she will be punished for having those kinds of inappropriate conversations and I would also tell your family members that if she attempts to say these things in the future they need to refuse to engage because they are teaching her that they will listen to this kind of gossip. Then you need to address the things she said about you, your daughter and her father.
*
*
She is 10. Drama Queen age!
She is 10. Drama Queen age! She is telling you stories...telling grandma stories...etc etc etc.
I would go about this differently. I wouldn't necessarily confront her about this situation. Maybe a heart to heart with life lessons about gossiping or heart to heart about her situation & the divorce would help though. Divorces are hard and things aren't fair. As a former step child, who went from welfare at BMs...to a really nice house at BDs EOW...I constantly cried that things weren't fair. My step sibs got to live that way ALL the time. NOT saying that is your exact situation, just saying I understand the feelings somewhat. I would however talk to my family about "when SD starts badmouthing people, please tell her we shouldn't talk about people" and then disengage... She'll learn eventually.
Jen
This is so hard on me. Im
This is so hard on me. Im always the bad guy! I worry cuz SD10 has mentioned she would just like to end her life to the school...
~Life's a Journey-So take a deep breath and enjoy the ride~
Well if she said that she
Well if she said that she should get into some therapist for help. Even at the school, where ever she can get help.
Don't walk on eggshells. Even if she said such things she will appreciate some normal times at your house. And I would certainly sit down with her and have a conversation about what was said. This was completely out of line.