NOYDB
(My first post! 
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Anyone have a SK that likes to butt in on your conversations?
Multiple times this weekend my SD13 would insert herself into the conversation I was having with my DH. This was while she was hanging out with her friends! I would be more understanding if these conversations had anything to do with her, or with a topic she was interested in, but they aren't. Near the end of the weekend we were all in the car. SD13 and her two friends in the back, and my DH and I in the front. DH and I had been discussing a song on the radio for a few minutes and then I said "I didn't realize what song that was." SD13 pipes up: "Yikes, what did you say you didn't realize?"
Now if you think about this question, she obviously didn't even know what I was saying. So why is she concerned with my comment? She hadn't joined the conversation up to that point, so I take that to mean she had no interest in the conversation. She only wanted to know what I said because she was being nosy!
So I mentally hem and haw for a second and decide that since I had already made some comments to her earlier that weekend, such as, "would you want me to butt in on your conversations with your friends?", that I would be a little more blunt here.
So for her question of: "Yikes, what did you say you didn't realize?",
I replied: "I didn't realize I was talking to you."
A little mean perhaps. DH didn't really get mad at me, but I don't think I liked that I said that. He of course then tells SD13 what I really said. Because it's obviously her business!
I don't like having to be a little mean, but I have said things to her before, and multiple times just this weekend, and her dad obviously isn't correcting her, so what am I to do? Just keep repeating myself to satisfy her eavesdropping?
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Comments
This happens to me
This happens to me CONSTANTLY. I have a sd12 & a ss7 that think they are so important that everyone must always be talking to them. Drives me nuts!! My SO used to do the same thing as yours, just tell them whatever we were talking about or answer their question which would piss me off. It even went as far as me catching sd leaning closer to the front of the car when SO & I were having a private conversation in the front & she was in the back. I was talking quietly b/c I knew they always listen in & I caught her out of the corner of my eye leaned forward with her ear towards us. I turned around & asked her if I needed to speak up so she could hear me. Fortunately, my SO has stepped up on that & USUALLY catches it & gets on them for it. They do it to me & my bios all the time. I ask my bios something & the skids answer for them. My bios will be telling me something & the skids will finish their sentence. I have started ending my sentences to my bios with their names ("How was your day, bd?") Sometimes, skids will STILL answer even when I have addressed my bios. I either ignore them or ask them if their name is bd or bs? Personally, I think your answer was spot on. It is rude to eavesdrop & people need to learn to mind their own business.
Well put, yes my sd13 thinks
Well put, yes my sd13 thinks everything is about her and needs to comment on it. Part of it is the annoying age.
My hubby tells her, when we are finished talking you may speak but while dragonfly and I are having a conversation you need to wait to speak.
I just smile.
I've found that as a rule,
I've found that as a rule, today's children (that have been given A.S.S. Adult Spousal Status) have 100% adult-like authority and 0% adult-like responsibility. Thus they've never been told that interrupting an adult's conversation or butting in is RUDE! They see themselves on the same "level" as any adult in the room and why not? After all a PASinator BM or a guilty daddy will just reinforce this idea. They get a "taste" for adult like status level and LIKE it!
I'm UBER old-school and don't believe that a child is on the same "level" as an adult EVER! To this day my grown children will not butt into my affairs nor will I theirs.
It's an uphill battle when the BM is telling them that they are on the same socio status level as mommykins and a MUCH higher level than you or guilty daddy. You can TRY saying "I'm sorry [name of skid], but this is an adult conversation. . . I'll let you know when I'm speaking to you." In my case, guilty daddy was terribly concerned that his widdle dumplin's fee fees would get hurt and it would get back to the PASinator BM should I correct them in ANY fashion so I could only make strides when guilty daddy was out of ear and eye shot.
"DH and I will be talking and
"DH and I will be talking and she will interrupt and say "daddy...daddy" and He will stop talking to me and say "Yes SD?" and she goes "uhh...I love you"
She didn't even have anything to say. She interrupts us and then when the attention is on her she says "i love you" or "nothing" or makes some shit up. Constantly saying uhhh uhhh uhh until she creates something in her little head to say."
This is extremely common especially in a high conflict situation. I remember it happening mostly with guilty daddy's youngest and most recently, my cubicle mate at work (who has gotten herself into a step-grandma situation dispite my repeated warning) reports it with her five year old step grandson.
Guilty daddy and I would be talking and as soon as his youngest noticed that I DARE talk to HIS daddykins, he burst in to interrupt: "Dad, dad, dad, dad, daddy, dad, daddy, dad, dad"
Guilty daddy: (making zero attempt to correct his son) "What hooooonnneeey?"
Youngest SS: "umm, uhh, ummm, ummm. . .one time. . .I saw a squirrel."
Yes it is common. Yes it should be corrected and yes you will have little to no influence for the good if daddykins keeps undermining your attempts to teach his children to be civil. You will be the baaaad one and may need to disengage in time.
Pretty normal at her age.
Pretty normal at her age. You'd probably be having the same problem with your own daughter at some point. It's just EXTRA annoying from SD because you're not used to her.
My parents are great people who expected a great deal from me as far as my behavior was concerned.
I STILL went through asshole phases. All children do.
And sometimes... ya gotta be mean. }:)
SS13 will actually say "I
SS13 will actually say "I have no idea what you guys are talking about" as though we need to stop our conversation and explain it to him. Oh, you don't know what we're talking about? Good thing the conversation had nothing to do with you then.
When my skids interfere with
When my skids interfere with a conversation between me and anyone, the the other person stops my conversation and addresses them, I walk away or stop talking about it totally. When asked to continue, my response is, "not important" I've even been known to walk out of the room and make my DH follow me to continue the conversation. If he's interested in what I have to say, I make him come to me, this way I take back controll from the little brats!