The court case is finally happening tomorrow...... 9 Sept at 9am in North Carolina. So, my DH, myself, my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and father-in-law are heading to NC at 4 am to go and face these allegations (false, of course)after BM started this entire process of filing affidavits and motions against us in November 2008. It seems like this has taken forever. The abuse allegations started in Jan and has been continued 3 times before.

A quick synopsis for those who don't know "our" story. It has been one thing after another - you can read back in my blogs to see all the other posts as well........

BM and DH broke off their 2 year relationship when she was 2-3 months pregnant. DH helped her move back home and helped her with the expenses. - he set up child support, visitation, etc through the court and BM was very upset.

Since that time she has attacked DH and his family (this was before me)......

- She does not follow the court orders, will not meet at the correct location or at the right times
- She has banned him from daycares and school although he has joint custody
- She has lied about medical costs and was caught in the lies - DH was paying this even though it was not court ordered
- She has blocked visits lying about cheerleading, dance, etc - and blames him when he finds out and wants to come or still get his daughter for visitation
- She changed his contact information to an old number on the currently school forms and will not send information to him
- She has lied about medication and dosage - DH had to get the corrected information by letter from the physician to be safe
- She does not send the medication at times, or the insurance card at all - because she says DH does not give her the extra monies for it
- She filed a protective order against DH saying he tried to kill her and BD in their sleep - that was dismissed - but she filed it 15 minutes after he was granted Joint Custody and the judge had asked her was there any reason why he should not get joint. She said no at that time - and filed the protective order 15 minutes later. It is date and time stamped by the Clerk of Court.
- She has lied to the court stating DH is late on his child support because she does not receive 800.00 on the 1st day of every month. She however has never received a payment late and DH has never been late
-She filed abuse charges against DH because he asked for 6 weeks visitation in the summer and the judge granted it.... Took her to a trauma counselor and all
-She doesn't answer her phone, sends to small clothes etc......
-She caused SD to act out in the counselors office where i could see and the counselor noted how she was calm with us and fearful and teary when left alone with the mother
-They told BD DH is taking BM to court to fight for her and had her really upset...
- There is 6 years of stuff DH has kept that BM has signed, dated and notarized, letters giving bad information, and other crazy things...... The kicker is she signed them and dated them. Almost like she wanted him to know it came from her but now he can use it against her in court.

We have 3 binders 1 inch thick at least of things she has done, signed, notarized, emailed, a medication log we keep, a communication log we keep, and pictures and dvds of visits there in NC and here, dvds of the pick ups and the like, emails from her lawyer to my husband telling him to go to a different exit calling him a lier after the judge order another exit.... the list of things against her goes on and on.

The counselor notes from the trauma counselor (her lawyer ordered her to take SD to) help us out as the woman put she had to continously tell BM there was no signs of fear and abuse of DH, myself, or family. AND then BM told counselor at last appointment - She just did not want to drive to VA as the reason for doing this stuff. Which really hurt their custody case..... We have also submitted that report and notes to the court.

All of our evidence has not been given to the opposing lawyer as they filed the abuse charges against us and we are using it as our defense that BM has been attacking DH for 6 years, his family for 6 years and me for 1.5 years (since we got married - but i have been involved with him and SD for 3 years). So i am really interested in seeing what their response will be tomorrow morning. I don't think BM will agree to switching custody and her getting help with the issues causing her to do this.

DH told his lawyer - if they come up with a deal before court - after seeing the information - I am thinking her lawyer will try to see what our lawyer has and will be using before the case - He will only accept - Sole custody, with supervised visits at a visitation facility until BM gets a pysch evaluation and completes a treatment plan successfully. After that he is willing to let her have every weekend, every holiday, and 10 at christmas time til new years. She will be informed of all events, appointments and other changes in SD's life.

We just want SD out of that toxic enviornment until BM gets some help and can once again be a productive, positive influence in the child's life and can foster a positive relationship between both families.

I just feel bad that tomorrow we have to go and air a mother's dirty laundry. I don't want to be attacking a mother - hell i am one and would feel really bad if that happened to me - yet i don't do the actions she does.

But emotionally i am caught between doing what is right for my SD and knowing this mother will be devastated if SD is removed from her home. My SD's well being and her relationship with her entire family are paramount and we have been forced to do this.

I am just glad - DH felt years ago it may come down to this and kept the attacks and information she created and signed. It will benefit SD but it is still putting a mother on the stand and airing her dirty laundry. DH is hurt he has to do this and seperate mother and child - but feels in is heart it is the right thing to do until she gets some help - and i am supporting him 100%.

Keep up in your prayers tomorrow... .that the court gives my little 6 year old SD some relief from this toxic enviornment her mom has created and is allowed to be at peace.